I couldn't do it, I caved and watched the Super Bowl this past weekend. Damn it, I'm just like every other brainwashed person in this country I guess. You have to watch the Super Bowl or else you're like un-American or something. It's complete horseshit. Anyways, I did watch, and despite the scenario that I laid out in a previous post not coming true to any extent, I was surprisingly satisfied with the game... for the most part at least. I don't know why, but I just could not root for the 49ers. There's just something I really do not like about that team. Mainly Jim Harbough, the coach, and that fudge packer Kaepernick. I don't like Harbough because he's always yelling and screaming, especially when anything doesn't go his way. Some one should tell him to shut the f**k up, it's not like there's ever going to be a game where nothing goes against your team. Also, they should allow the punter on the opposing team to run up to him and give him a nice, powerful kick to the nuts every time he doesn't like a call. Or the refs should throw him out of the game as soon as he gives them shit. And Kaepernick, I hate that guy not because of who he is or what he does. I hate the guy because everyone is on his nuts. He was sucking huge assholes in the beginning of the Super Bowl, and pretty much for the entire first half, but the commentators were still going on his nuts hard. I know it's stupid to not like someone because of all the praise they get, but it's really annoying when they keep stroking his dick when he's sucking big time. Oh yeah, and there's the whole thing where I despise running quarterbacks, too. Those dickless f**otts take all the skill out of the game. I imagine this is what goes on in their heads: Well, I suck huge ball sacks and can't make a throw, so I guess I'll be a huge f*g and run until someone is going to touch me, at which point I will slide like a huge turd or run out of bounds like a huge turd.
I'm also disgusted because I can't find a picture making fun of Kaepernick. That's how much everyone is on his nuts. In lieu of that photo, because apparently it does not exist, you get the one shown above. Back to the actual Super Bowl, though. I was thoroughly enjoying the game when the Ravens were romping the 49ers. Partly because I like domination and blowouts, but also because as I said before, I just could not bring myself to root for a team that is coached by Jim Harbough because the man disgusts me. I might not have mentioned that part before, but I really couldn't root for the 49ers. That's saying a lot, too, because I am not a fan of many of the people on the Ravens, insert Ray Lewis. But I don't want to talk about that guy. So I was enjoying the game until the "blackout" occurred. Since I'm a conspiracy kind of dude, I think that this blackout was an NFL conspiracy. I think the commissioner of the league, Roger Goodell, saw that the Ravens were going to rape the 49ers too hard after the second half kickoff was returned by a black dude for a touchdown. I'm going to revisit this kickoff return a little later, too. Goodell had to find some way to disrupt the rhythm of the game, attempt to change the momentum. So let's cut the power and everyone will be too concerned with making jokes about Bane entering the stadium and such to think that it was in fact the doing of the National Football League itself. Goodell knows that the broadcast of this game was in danger of losing viewers if the margin between the two sides was too great, and it's all about ratings. So f**k it, let's change the game because we have the power to do so. And thus the blackout was born and the 49ers got back into the game. I'm really glad they lost after that bullshit.
This is not true
This is more accurate
Back to that kickoff return. The return was a very captivating and exciting play, one certainly hard to do for sure. But let's not kid ourselves, the guy traveled 108 yards (after an initial ruling of 109) in 11 and some odd seconds. That's not as fast as most people believe. 108 yards is not even 100 meters, it's 98.7552 meters. Granted he did not run straight and had to avoid people, but Usain Bolt has run 100 meters in 9.58 seconds. That's fast as shit. I've seen people in high school run sub 11 second 100 meter races. Yes, the guy who returned the kickoff for a touchdown probably could too, but I don't believe that he has Olympic speed, otherwise why the hell wouldn't he be in the Olympics? Again, I'm not saying what he did wasn't impressive, but don't get overhyped on the speed.
Now I'm going to completely switch gears. No more Super Bowl talk, it's still the winter, so the weather still sucks. One thing I've noticed quite a bit lately is people leaving their cars running while they go into the post office or something. I've been thinking about what kind of car I should just get into and drive away with. You can't take that kind of risk with a piece of shit car, so what kind of car would be worth it? I'm open to suggestions. I'm just amazed at how many people I've seen doing it. Seriously though, I know it's cold, but it's not cold enough for me to leave my car in a public lot with the keys in the ignition. Maybe I'm wrong... I wonder how many people's cars get stolen each year in this situation. That's a statistic I would enjoy seeing, even if it's probably made up.
Another thing that has recently perplexed me are these emails that Facebook sends me every once in a while. I get these emails from Facebook telling me that people have posted statuses, pictures, or some other shit. Then at the bottom it tells me stuff like that the person that posted a status commented on their status. Basically the email is attempting to tell me that I am missing all of this. If I cared I would look at these statuses and pictures on Facebook. But the truth is that I don't. I just think this whole thing is funny. Does anyone else get these emails? Or is Facebook actually monitored to the extent that it knows I don't look at it practically ever. I do look at Facebook, but not to see what other people are doing. I don't like the "I saw it on Facebook effect," and I'm not interested in seeing what most of the people I'm allegedly friends with on it are doing. For the most part the people I care about knowing what's going on in their lives I speak to or have some sort of regular communication, so I don't need to stalk them on Facebook. While I'm talking about Facebook I might as well mention that the whole experience of Facebook is getting very stale in my opinion. This has nothing to do with my past bitchings about the site. I am genuinely bored with it. Facebook, in my opinion, does not have the friendly atmosphere it used to. It doesn't strike me as the place to go to keep in touch with friends anymore. Hell, they even changed it to a "timeline." That's all it is now. I don't want Facebook to keep track of my life in a timeline. I liked it better to stay in touch with my friends, but I really think it's moving away from that.
Of course I do absolutely nothing to change this, I hardly ever use the thing anymore. I pretty much just respond to the one post or fewer that is posted on my timeline each month. That's about it. Twitter to some extent is also getting stale for me, mainly because of the people I follow that I actually know. I think most of them use it just to stroke themselves. Believe me, they are so out there. That's a joke because I see a lot of this #weouthere shit. You're out where? You put me in a quandary, social media, a quandary.
Finally, I've started Dead Space 3. I've been excited about this game since I heard it was in the making about a year ago because I really enjoyed the first two games. I've only finished the prologue and the first few chapters, but it's really different so far. It's not bad, but different. I don't really like that there are lots of automatic weapons, I think it makes the game less about dismemberment, which is what makes these games so totally awesome! There are also these new necromorphs that have pick axes and come at you flailing them. That's cool and all, especially because a lot of the game is supposed to take place on some frozen planet, but I don't understand why you fight some of these guys in the first chapter that takes place in a human city. Were people mining in the city? I haven't played enough of the game yet to have a real opinion on it. I just hope it's fun. My addiction for Fifa Ultimate team is really distracting me too.
Have to love these games
One thing that has really jumped out at me that is different in Dead Space 3 is the amount of ammo you get. You have tons more ammo than in either of the first two games. That right there shows you that this game is more action oriented than ammo conservation and strategy. I really liked strategically dismembering enemies to kill them with their own body parts, too... You can still do that, but it's much harder, at least I think so, because the enemies get on you so quick.
I have just one more incredibly random interjection before signing off on this post. When I was at work the other day I stumbled across this invoice that I have pictured below. Go ahead, take a look.
Yes, that's correct, those are brass nipples. I've heard of brass knuckles before, but never brass nipples. I can only imagine what those are used for. Brass knuckles are used to kick someones ass with your hands. Does this mean that brass nipples are to kick someones ass with your nipples? That wasn't all, though. There was also one for black nipples.
I'll leave you with that. As always, be champions.
Accidentally I have created a monstrosity that could potentially turn into a real atrocity. Allow me to set the record straight and avoid a dreadful (not really) fate. I like to have fun, especially through horrible pun, but I don't like to excessively drink, rather I prefer to incessantly think. However, what I say could get misconstrued in a confusing way. Alcohol is not so bad, though in the past it has driven me mad. I admit I was wrong, but I still wouldn't touch a bong. In fact I would rather whack my dong. A strict alcohol policy I followed left me with memories hollowed. I must say I'm beginning to come around, but you'll never find me passed out on the ground. I don't believe it's too late, I've always been on the late bloomer slate.
I can say the same for a certain book, though I don't believe it deserves the obscene amount of looks. I don't hate because I'm overly irate. I guess I'm just a little old fashioned, I'd rather get the info from the source with all the passion (or lack thereof). It's not all bad, it just feels like a terribly long lasting fad. Can't we all communicate face to face instead of in cyber space?
I'm penning this piece to set the record straight and lift the figurative massive weight. Fun is measured in many different ways, only depending on how the mind sways. No longer is alcohol something I'm against, certainly it can be a worthy expense (cost to have fun?). However, I have no intentions of getting belligerent, that would just be ignant (said like Michael Jackson in South Park). So cheers to my peers.
P.S.
I didn't intentionally make this rhyme, do you think I have that kind of time?
P.S.S.
In case you were confused by the rhyme scheme (if that's even what you would call it) in the beginning of this post, what I'm saying is that it's ok to drink some alcohol. I'm not totally against it like I was in the past. The same is true about online social networking. It's not that bad, basically it's just that the people who are annoying as f**k in real life are just as annoying online. I think that's an easy enough concept. As for the alcohol part, there's nothing wrong with having some adult beverages. What I don't understand is having so much that it negatively affects the person drinking it. That sounds terrible to me. Now that I've got all that off my chest, I'm going to go get f**ked up, so I'll catch you later!
A few hours later...
I didn't really go anywhere or drink anything. Just in case you were wondering.
Online social networking currently holds my generation, and many others now, in an extremely tight brace. Most have a profile on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Google+, Tumblr, and Pinterest (whatever that is), or some combination of the aforementioned. There's even a social networking site for "professionals," LinkedIn. With all these different mediums of social networking, I sometimes wonder how people decide which on to update. Do you update your status or post a tweet? Some people solve this problem by linking their Twitter account to their Facebook, so their tweet is essentially a status update. Ever since high school I have been growing up in the online social networking world and there are some interesting aspects to the development of social networks over that time period and what the future holds for them.
The first subject I want to address is Twitter. I don't like when people say that Twitter is stupid and unnecessary ( I don't like the word necessary either, why is it so hard to type?). I would actually go as far to say that Twitter was a brilliant idea. Twitter took one of the most popular features of online social networking, Facebook's status update, and built another social networking site out of it. Twitter is basically a series of status updates, no bullshit, just updates. Twitter can also be used as a great source for information about topics of personal interest, which is mainly what I use it for.
Hi friends!
Twitter allows users to get information quickly and read more in depth if the user desires or can be used to see what your friends are up to, that is, if you have friends. Therefore, Twitter is not a stupid or bad idea, it just has a much simpler interface with less options. Recently Facebook went through another makeover and now is a "timeline" of users' lives. I think the Facebook people did this because they recognize that if the website didn't become something that encompassed users lives as a whole then the site would eventually lose popularity and end up like MySpace, a has been in the social networking world. However, increasing the longevity of social networking sites really makes me think about the role these sites will play in the future. Right now I would find it very strange if my grandmother had a Facebook profile, but in the future, if everything goes in Facebook's favor, grandmother's will have Facebook profiles. Imagine looking at pictures of your grandmother when she was in her teens and as a college student? You might sit there and think "damn, grandma was hot!" It's f**king weird. I don't know if it's a bad thing, but it sure is weird. There's another picture of grandma taking a shot of tequila. Oh, and here's a status update about her locking her keys in her room or something, one of those things that you should keep to yourself.
Now let's change perspectives, what about your grandfather? Here's your grandfather in college, he's participating in Edward 40-hands and there's a picture of him with the girl he was banging years before he met your mother. I really wonder what role social networks will have in the future. I could be wrong, but I honestly think social networks are going to create very different upbringings for the future generations. I don't think anyone's parents tell their children as much about their youth as social networks do. I realize there are privacy settings, but I'm not sold that these measures will keep future generations from looking back on their parents' youth. As a recent graduate of college I am well aware of the pictures that people post on Facebook and the information that is disclosed in social networking sites through posts and status updates. My main question and point of interest is how will online social networks be used in the future and what impact will that have on future generations? I don't know the answer to this question, nobody does, but I am sure interested to see what happens.
I've mentioned my dislike for social networks in the past admittedly in quite harsh words. However, my main grudge with social networking is its overuse. Social networking online is actually an incredibly great idea because it allows people to stay in touch through life even if distances get greater and greater (whether physical distance or friendships going in different directions). The overuse that I'm speaking of is quite simple, it involves pointless and meaningless status updates/tweets, too many pictures, and what I would call an addiction. The status part speaks for itself, I'm sure everyone has read statuses and tweets and thought "cool story, Hansel." So, I digress. If you are taking pictures of yourself in the mirror or just holding the camera out in front of you, there is a good chance you post too many pictures. I'm not singling out girls on this one either. Guys, I don't care about your new tattoo, I don't care where it is or what it says, so I don't need to see a picture of it. I could probably go on for another hour or so about pictures, but I'm not, I think you get the point. In general, people's addiction to online social networking is the main driver for the overuse. I actually have a difficult time blaming people for this, though, because most people like to interact with friends and the internet lets you do that at not so close distances. Also, some people are very social and speak a lot anyways, so it's really just their personality coming out.
Random interjection, I just thought of another reason why Twitter is a great invention. When situations get awkward or you're at a party and you don't know what to do, many people pretend to look at their phone like they have something to do such as answer a text. Well, Twitter makes pulling this move off so much easier and better because you can actually amuse yourself by reading tweets rather than pretend to text no one. Maybe it is just about the same thing, but at least it's another excuse to look at your phone, which brings me to anther point. Isn't it funny how much people look at their phones now? I've been in situations where the person I'm eating with or just having a conversation with spends more time looking at their phone than at me. At least in these situations you can judge how important you are. But it really is amazing how much people look at their phones now. People are looking at them walking down the street, while they're eating, while they're taking a crap, while they're driving, and the list goes on and on. I think a lot of phone looking can be attributed to social media since it can be accessed from phones now.
One of the things I dislike most about the overuse of social media is the "I saw that on Facebook Effect," that's what I'm going to call it. The "I saw it on Facebook Effect" can be used for Twitter, too, but Facebook definitely deserves to have its name in the official label. I'm sure we've all been in the situation where someone asks you if you know about something to which you or the person you are speaking with declares that they saw it on Facebook. That is the "I saw it on Facebook Effect." I think that online social networks have created some sort of transparency on our lives. People get too much information from sites like Facebook and Twitter. When I see my friends, especially those I haven't seen for a while, I like to have things to discuss with them. But if they post everything in their life on Facebook and I've seen it, then it makes conversation boring and stale. I like gleaning information from the source, from the person who actually wants to tell me something. Personally I've gotten away from checking Facebook very often, a process that I started probably about midway through sophomore year of college, so luckily I don't have to deal with the "I saw it on Facebook Effect" very often.
Well, let's see where online social networking goes. I'll sure be watching with great interest.
In a recent post, maybe even the last one, I commented on how I haven't gone on a rant in a long time. Well, I'm not necessarily going to rant and rave like I have about how dumb social networks are, but I am going to take a look at some things that bother me to various extents. I'll start with a letter I received from the college I just graduated from. A week or so ago I received this letter and immediately opened it because I was interested to see what they could possibly send me now. The letter was a damage report for the townhouse I lived in the past year. While I didn't have any damage to pay for in my personal room, there was a charge to everyone in the house for a missing end table. I'm also very certain that the amount of money charged to each person for this end table would total to a value of much more than the end table could possibly be worth, but that's not the part that really annoys me. I don't mind paying for something that we somehow lost, or had stolen (how the hell do you lose and end table?), because it is property that we do not own and we should be liable for it. What bothers me is that the school, and it's not only this school, it's all of them, doesn't hold itself to the same standards. When class is canceled the students, or whoever is financing the education, does not get back the money invested in that particular class. That's wrong, if a service is not provided, then it should not be paid for. I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to figure out the cost of each class based on the tuition paid.
I do understand that it might not directly be the college's fault that class did not take place, the professor is usually the reason a class is canceled, but I didn't lose the end table either. I have no idea what happened to the end table, but I do know that the sliding door in the back of our townhouse did not lock and it took facilities weeks to come fix it after we filed a request. Students are liable for the items in their dorms and the school is liable for providing an education. Canceled class should be reimbursed, there's no way around it.
When I come to think about it, most of the things that annoy me deal with how people act and money, sometimes both fit together nicely for a deluxe annoying package. I was at a bar the other night with some friends when one of the bartenders told us that no one was going to serve us because of the tips we were leaving. Yes, we probably were leaving shitty tips, but what the hell do you want me to do, I'm a recent college graduate that doesn't have much money. She told us that the bartenders only get paid $2 per hour so they need tips. Now there's the problem, the part that annoys me. How is it legal to pay people $2 per hour? To understand my point, I think tips are bullshit. Not because I don't think people who have jobs that are reliant on tips shouldn't get paid, but because I don't think is a fair method of payment. I'm aware that in some places in the world receiving a tip is considered an insult. I think these places have the right idea. Employees' pay should be the responsibility of the employer, not the customers. I think it's bullshit that employers can pay employees ridiculous wages such as $2 per hour. Again, I don't understand how that is legal! They made some bullshit law about how that's ok if the employees are allowed to receive tips. That's just wrong. As I see it, that's just another stupid law that allows the company to make more money at the expense of the people who keep that same company in business. It's bullshit!
Speaking of stupid laws, what about the liquor store industry? I don't understand why some states protect liquor stores. I like the states where you can by alcoholic beverages in the supermarket. The ability to buy alcoholic beverages in the supermarket allows for one hell of a great convenience. But there are still states that prohibit grocers from carrying alcohol. What I don't understand is why liquor stores should get this type of protection. Who cares if they go out of business, that's how business works. I don't see any laws getting instated to protect Blockbuster from Netflix and Redbox, and there shouldn't be. It's bullshit that liquor stores get protection, that takes away competition. And I agree with Steven Wright, it bothers me that there's only one company that makes the game Monopoly.
I guess since I've been using bars and liquor stores for examples, I'll go on to the subject of alcohol straight up. Alcohol bothers me because it's a legal drug you don't need a prescription for, you just have to be a certain age to purchase it. I'm not a huge fan of alcohol because of what it does to people, but I think a legal drinking age is bullshit. I don't think there should even be a drinking age. If alcohol is not deemed illegal, then anyone, regardless of age, should be entitled to consume it. Let's not pretend that people don't drink before the decided upon legal age either. If someone doesn't drink alcohol before the legal age, I think it's very unlikely that they will just pick up the habit when they reach that magical age. Basically, the legal age is stupid because practically everyone is going to drink before it is deemed legal. I don't like those bullshit arguments like "if you can die for your country at 18, then you should be able to drink at 18, too." That's just stupid because they are two completely unrelated things. You can get your drivers license when you turn 16, do you want them to be able to draft you into the army at 16, too? It's the same type of stupid comparison.
When I come to think about it, it's not really alcohol that bothers me. What bothers me is how people use alcohol and that there is an agreed upon age when it is all of a sudden ok to consume alcoholic beverages. I think what the law is going for is to prevent people from drinking until they are mature, which is a great idea in theory, but it doesn't work. Drinking in excess, which is an activity for people above and below the drinking age, is already an act of immaturity in itself and brings a person to do immature things. So anyone should be able to purchase and consume alcohol whenever they like. There are already a bunch of alcohol related deaths, but those people are only doing the world a favor by eliminating themselves from the gene pool. Maybe not as many people believe in the survival of the fittest anymore, but there are way too many dumb people, we could afford to lose a few...million of them.
When I started penning this post, I did not intend for it to go in this direction, but I've found myself on the topic of drugs, so I'm going to go with it because drugs do bother me. So on we go. I've never consumed enough alcohol in one short period to get drunk. I'm not interested in doing this because it doesn't sound appealing to me. Anything that is described as getting shit faced, obliterated, getting f**ked up, plastered, or hammered sounds like something I don't want to do. Sometimes you throw up, don't remember what happened, can't walk straight, can't stand up, and do things you regret, like contracting an STD. Again, more things that don't interest me. I don't understand the fascination with achieving this state. I'm also aware that it's really bad for your liver because you're actually poisoning yourself. Tolerance for alcohol is not a good thing, it means that your body is getting accustomed to getting poisoned. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not against alcohol. I have alcohol on occasion, I just don't understand why people drink in excess. I think it does more hurt to a person than good. Alcohol also tends to lead to things that people regret. Regret sucks and is another reason to take it easy on the drinks. I only have a few regrets in my life, but at least none of them have a thing to do with alcohol.
About a couple of months ago I began a post titled "The Implications of Being Me," where I was going to touch on the subject of alcohol and other thoughts I have about life and how I lead mine. I'm not sure if I'll ever actually post that, but the previous passages are a little insight into what that post would have been like, but I'll continue now with one of the topics that bothers me most: social networking. I've decided that I will include some social networking annoyances here. Technology is great and I think it really has advanced the world for the better, but there is one part I strongly dislike, social media's presence on smart phones. Of course it's a great idea to allow people to access social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter from their phone, but holy shit is it annoying. Social media annoyed me when Myspace was popular which is why I terminated my account after about two years, and that was before you could access social networks from the phone.
I've had a Twitter account since sophomore year of college. Initially I created one as a joke during the summer after freshman year just to see what Twitter was. I found that it was actually a really great source of information so I made one under my actual name for myself. I still have this account, but continue to use it mainly as a source of information. I do follow some friends and some friends follow me, but I don't really use it as a communication tool. I use it to get updated information on things I'm interested in. I barely ever tweet on my personal account. I tweet much more often on the account I've setup for this blog because the blog is a place for my thoughts and whatever I feel like doing with it. I still have a Facebook account somehow, too. I rarely ever access it from my computer anymore because honestly I don't care. I do have the app for Facebook on my phone which I check every once in a while to see if anyone has summoned me to communicate with them, which is very infrequently due to my lack of use of Facebook. So there you have it, I have just laid out for you how I use social networks. I'm not a very active participant and will very likely deactivate my Facebook sometime in the future as it serves almost no purpose. The only reason I keep my Facebook around is for the off chance that someone I have known in some capacity needs to get in touch with me. That's about it.
With the introduction of smartphones and apps, people have access to their social networks everywhere. This is a nightmare. I get annoyed with the constant updates about where people are, what they're doing, and the general need for attention. I'm going to keep it that plain and simple... for now at least. I could go off on a huge tangent, but I have kind of already done that in this post, which is about how status updates are dumb, but that's mainly what smartphones are used for, so I think it's about the same thing. Another thing that annoys me about social networking that I think (to the best of my knowledge)is specific to Facebook is how people are starting to change their names. Sometimes when I'm actually logged into Facebook I'll see someone in my friends list and I'll think "who the hell is that?" Then I click on their profile and realize who they are, noticing that they just changed their name. Usually it's their last name, they'll change it to their middle name or something. I just look at it and think, really? What is on there that you have to change your name? And I'm sure that there are people clever enough to figure out that the profile still belongs to you if they really need to know.
I don't want to spend too much time complaining about social networks, that's old material for me. To put it simply, I think social networks are overused. I want to discuss speech now. Language is an absolutely wonderful tool, but there are a few things that rustle my jimmies when people speak. I'll begin with the use of the word "mad." I don't like when "mad" is used in this sense: "that food was mad good." The word mad means mentally disturbed; deranged; insane; demented. The secondary meanings of mad mean enraged or greatly provoked or irritated; abnormally furious or affected with rabies; extremely foolish or unwise; or wildly excited or confused. So saying "I'm mad bored" or "the food was mad good" or "I'm mad tired" makes no sense. I also don't like the overuse of possessiveness. For example if someone says "I'm going to take my shower" or "you can watch your movie." I think it should be "I'm going to take a shower" and "you can watch the movie." I think I still do this when I speak, but believe me I beat myself each time I do, but not really. For some reason it just mildly bothers me. It's one of those things where if I'm in a lousy mood it will really bother me for some unknown reason.
Using a foreign language for isolated words is at the top of my list of annoying speech. It drives me crazy, at least most of the time it does, when people say something like "I'm going to the bano." Just say "I'm going to the bathroom." Then they'll come back from the bano (I don't know how to make the accent marks, but there is supposed to be one over the "n" in both banos) and say "where's my lapiz?" You mean your pencil? I took it and I'm going to shove it up your culo (vulgar way of saying ass in Spanish) if you don't stop saying sentences all in English with one Spanish word!
Actually, I've been contemplating for a little while to start responding to any text-based message in Elcor speak. Basically Elcor's cannot express emotion through speech so they begin every sentence by clarifying if it should be received as excitement, anger, sarcasm, etc. I think that would be a nice way to avoid the annoying "lol" and "haha" in text driven conversations. So if someone makes a funny comment on my wall or photo, I would respond with something like "laughing: yeah man, that's pretty funny." Or if someone invites me to an event or something I would respond "sarcastic: yeah, sign me up."
So I might do that, but who knows. I thought I just lost this whole post for a split second, so I had mini aneurysm, but not really. But I really did think that I lost the post momentarily. Well, this has been fun and all, and sometimes boring, but it's been real and maybe you agree with me on some of these thoughts, but if not, then... I don't really know what, but at the least hopefully you found some marginal entertainment. I'm still waiting for some random person (can't start with unrealistic goals) to stumble on this blog and maybe even read a word or two. But it's been over a year and to the best of my knowledge that has not happened. You also have a small guide on how to mildly annoy me, so go ahead and have fun with that. I'll definitely think of more things that annoy me and add to this very limited list. Good thing these things bother me or else I wouldn't have anything to say. Thanks for reading, and make Jose "The Special One" Mourinho proud and be champions.
I realize it has been quite some time since I last posted, but this is for the best reason, I have been particularly busy lately. Now that it's Sunday afternoon and I'm just chilling watching some football, more particularly, some Tom Brady domination, I have some time to blog! Speaking of football, now that the NFL season is in full swing, maybe I'll dedicate a future post to how much I dislike field goals, and believe me, you will hate them too once you've seen my rant. Maybe I can even do a small vlog to go with it, but who knows. In my last post I mentioned the legendary Dr. K and how much I love listening to what he has to say. Well, this past week was no disappointment. I have his class two times per week, and this past Tuesday we spent the entire class watching the episode "The Suitcase" from the show Mad Men and discussing it. We got world class commentary from Dr. K throughout including insight into who on the show is an asshole and about how that episode is one of the greatest episodes of a television show ever. Then on Thursday, I was waiting outside of Dr. K's class, just waiting for him to finish up with the class he has beforehand. So I'm just standing there talking to one of my friends when all of a sudden Dr. K emerges from the classroom carrying his bag and personal belongings. He looks at us, all the students he has in his next class, and just keeps walking. To the best of my knowledge he never came back and just peaced out.
Dr. K strolled out of the building without saying a word to any of us, like a boss. We waited a little while to see if he was coming back, but eventually I figured that he was on his way home while we were standing outside the classroom. So I left. Later on that day I received an e-mail from Dr. K. When I saw it in my inbox I was certain that it was an explanation for whatever had happened earlier. Upon opening the e-mail, I found that I was incorrect. The e-mail was about how he was going to have shoulder surgery on November 17 so he would be missing class that day. That just left me thinking, what about today?! He ditched class and then e-mailed us about how he will be missing class in two months! I love this guy!
Oh yeah! In some other ground breaking news, it looks like the mobile blog is a go since there is finally an app that I can use for my mobile cellular phone! This segment new segment, Mere Minutia, should be up and running in the next few days. Mere Minutia will most likely have shorter blog posts about random things I'm contemplating when not around the computer or taking a crap.
Blog here, why not?
I am fully aware that all my devoted subscribers were anxiously awaiting the arrival of the mobile blog. What can I say, I'm doing it for the followers. They deserve it for all the time they put into reading my stupid shit. Get it, because they would still just be reading my stupid shit. I also just joined Google+ today. I hate Facebook for approximately everything that people do on it, so let's hope for Google+ domination and make Mark the new Tom. Having looked the Google+ interface for a brief amount of time, it reminds me of Twitter on steroids. I say this because there is no way to "write on your friends' walls." You can do updates, like a status update on Facebook or a tweet on Twitter, and people can comment on them. You can upload photos and videos and supply friends with information about yourself. The best part so far, though, is the "Circles" you can create. You can assign people to circles, which they cannot see or know they are part of, and only share things with people in particular circles if you choose. That's such a great idea. As I mentioned sometime before, I can finally have a group of "Assholes!" I think it has a great chance to be a fun social networking tool since there can be some level of privacy. That's right, screw you Facebook! I really need to stop being such a dickhead and get my latest installment about why Facebook sucks up. I've had the piece on status updates sitting in my drafts for about two months now.
I know I talk a lot of shit about Facebook, and it's all justifiable, but I actually have found good use of it, especially right now. The funny thing is that I believe the only useful feature of Facebook that I use is its message application. It's one of the only things that you can keep private, which is why I use it, and it is basically sending someone an e-mail. Something so revolutionary that I could have done it years before Facebook even existed. I used the messaging function last year when I realized that one of my friends got a new phone number and I wanted it. Now I'm using messages to communicate with my friend who is studying abroad this semester. Besides using Facebook for the mentioned purposes, I can't say that it has really had any value to me personally, so it sucks.
Retentive Gibberish is struggling. It hasn't been updated since I wrote a shitty movie review of "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" which has done absolutely nothing for the blog. I don't think we should give up hope yet, but it does have great potential to turn into another failed project. What wasn't a big failure was this past weekend, alumni weekend. Some good friends of mine came back to school this weekend for alumni/homecoming weekend and it was great! It felt like the old times, and I mean the past two years when I say that. Going out to dinner and spending the nights with them again was a whole lot of fun. There is a lot of cleaning up to do, but I think that is more a result of the people I live with, but either way it was totally worth it and a hell of a time!
Before work today, well I guess it was technically yesterday now. Oh Ford! I need to stop blogging so late all the time, but I'm stupid so I'm going to do it anyways. I think I write best at late hours, after I've endured the day and I'm alone with all my thoughts that have been running through my head all day long. Back to the point of this post, though. Before I went into work today I made the absolutely, inexcusable, boneheaded decision to check Facebook. That statement alone lets you know I was instapissed (I'm claiming ownership of this word because it happens to me all the time, and for those too stupid to understand, it stands for instantly pissed). I fuck**g hate Facebook like nothing else, there is no metaphor or simile that compares for my hatred of Facebook. The one good thing about Facebook is that it gives me a topic to complain and rant about practically endlessly. I am also currently in the process of a Facebook series for Sycophantic Laughter about Facebook addicts. Even though I have already started this series, I have not published any of the posts yet, and this has big potential to be the first of many. I know you're all going to LIKE this series, so throw your emotions away or I'm rather sure you could be offended. If you know me, then I'm sorry because you might recognize something stupid you did on Facebook mentioned because you guys are the reason I hate it, you assholes.
This particular installment is about "liking" on Facebook. If you didn't know that, Ford save you, it's right in the title, but I guess that's not a status, so you probably don't give a shit. So for the third time, before work today (technically yesterday now) I decided to torture myself. I logged onto Facebook and the result: instapissed. I cannot stand when people "like" things on Facebook. I kind of understand if you "like" a business (such as Apple) or an athlete or restaurant, something of that nature because that's at least somewhat related to who you are. Your friends probably know what celebrities you are a fan of and what restaurants you like to eat at, therefore I find this type of "liking" somewhat acceptable, but I still don't give a shit. If you were really my friend, there's a good chance I would already know that, or if I wanted to know, I would ask. What really pisses me off is when people "like" statuses or photos, things like that. Mostly it irks me when people "like" statuses, but I'll get into that shortly. First, why do I dislike "liking" so much? Maybe because it doesn't mean shit. Think about it, what does it mean? All I can really think of is that "liking" something is equivalent to saying "I saw that." "Liking" things is completely useless and it pisses me off. It's like people have this voice in their head saying "I HAVE TO "LIKE" THIS STATUS NOW!!" I understand that you can't help it, but that doesn't make me any less pissed off.
So when I logged on for some torture, I found myself clicking on my "friends" profiles in an attempt to see what they have been up to recently. I do this because I rarely ever see anyone in real life anymore, fuck you Facebook! I hate it when people tell you they're busy and then you see them active on Facebook during that time. I see how it is, you're busy with Facebook, you piece of shit! I understand that Social Interview and "liking" people's dumb ass statuses is fun, but come on, remember when you used to speak with me face to face? Anyways, in my vain effort to see how my "friends" are fairing these days, I came across the page belonging to someone who I used to see quite regularly in high school, but not much anymore. He had some status about a friend of his and of course it had some "likes." This doesn't sound like anything major, and it isn't, but it pisses me off. I don't want to know things because Facebook told me, that's stupid. And the "likes," what the hell do they mean, "hey, I saw this." "Likes" are so pointless and annoying, I don't give a shit if you "like" someone's status, good for you. Why don't you try reading something of substance, like a book? Would you read a book if it was hundreds of pages of statuses? Don't lie, you know you would.
I can't say the same for my "friends"
I'm not only blaming the "liker" of the status, they couldn't do their part without the asshole who posted the status update. Statuses could possibly be the thing I hate most on Facebook, and that's saying something considering my hatred for all that is Facebook. Anyone who posts a status update is a whore for attention. I don't see anyone anymore because they're all too busy "liking" each others stupid, pointless statuses. That brings me to another point. Sometimes, and when I say sometimes, I mean all the fucking time, people like to post unhappy statuses. Of course, just like any other status, people "like" it. Then that stupid piece of shit comments on their own status something like "why would you "like" that." Who gives a shit why they would "like" it, they're probably just being an asshole, but who's really the asshole. You, the status updater, are the asshole! YOU decided to post the unhappy status, you deserve it. Maybe next time you'll keep that shit to yourself. Oh yeah, a side note to women: when you get tons of "likes" on statuses, it is absolutely not because guys think you're funny or clever, or agree with what you say, they think you're hot and want to get with you. How many "likes" do you see ugly girls getting from guys? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Holy shit, I really hate Facebook. I hope Google+ rakes Facebook over coals. One feature I already LIKE about Google+ is something called "circles." You can divide your "friends" into different circles and share things with only people in certain circles. That is such a great idea, and you can bet I'm going to have a HUMONGOUS circle called "Assholes." Maybe you'll be able to "like" my circle, I bet you'd LIKE that. I'm trying my hardest, but I still cannot think of a good reason to "like" things, especially statuses. "Liking" statuses irks me to no end. I hope Mark Zuckerberg knows how many people he has successfully tortured and makes miserable everyday, you asshole! You know what else pisses me off about "liking?" Ever since "liking" became part of Facebook people have petitioned for a "dislike" button. What a bunch of morons, let's make the "liking" shit even deeper! I can't help but laugh every time I see someone comment on something with "dislike." HAHAHAHAH that's so clever! Commenting "dislike" definitely isn't an extremely overused, not to mention absolutely not funny, response. Someone get these people to start performing stand-up, I think I'm going to shit myself if they keep going.
This guy kiddin'?
I should expose my thoughts to my "friends" by posting this on Facebook, maybe I could get a few "likes!" I would like to thank my anonymous "friends" that brought back my fury after a long spell of peace. You know who you are, or do you? I also realize that this might be offensive to some, but I don't give a shit because I'm never going to see you anyways, that's right, go back to "liking" statuses, you attention whore. You'll get no attention from me, I can thankfully say that I have never once "liked" any of my "friend's" statuses or photos or any of their shit. I'm done for now, but I'll be insulting my "friends" again sometime soon with the next installment of Facebook addicts!
I just got home from work about an hour ago. It's July 1, at least when I started penning this, and I have come to realize I have not seen any of my friends in about two weeks. Recently my life has been consumed with class and work. Apparently this is what happens when you grow up. I've thought about Never, Never Land, but decided that would be an awful idea because Justin Bieber taught me to never say never. He might be Canadian, but I don't think he would lie to me. Did I mention I saw a guy lick a dollar bill today... multiple times.
I find it rather amusing that in the current culture I am surrounded by, one driven and dependent on technology that keeps people connected, I manage to see very little of the people I would like to. We have the ability to call, text, instant message, and Facebook people. Calls and texts are easily avoidable because the receiver does not have to answer or reply if they don't desire to. I can understand when people don't respond to me because I'm a huge jackass. However, I do know that everyone that I am linked to via cellular phone looks at their phone on a regular basis throughout a day, so I know you get my messages!! I also don't understand what goes on in public bathrooms. Why is there always toilet paper and paper towels everywhere?? Is the floor so repulsive that it must be covered? Just because the floor is white doesn't mean that it's racist... and the paper towels are white, too!!! Instant messaging is a bit outdated now. AIM was so middle school, so I won't rant about acting like an asshole through that medium. Facebook is different though, as much as I hate it, it brings me endless amusement. Facebook is a paradox in my life, I hate it and would love to end my profile's life, but it is an infinite source of hilarity!
In the context of this article, Facebook makes me laugh when you try to use it as a tool to "connect" with people. People are on Facebook twenty-four hours per day, seven days per week. Many people are addicted to it, but the world continues to raise money in an attempt to cure diseases and keep people drug free. What about a cure for Facebook! Anyways, I digest for now. What I wanted to say in the first place, I find it absolutely comical when you write on someone's wall and there is a long delay in response. Typically this response comes after the relevant period of the message you sent. For example:
Me posting on friend's wall: "Hey man! How's it going? Want to hang out this weekend?"
Friend's response on Monday (after the weekend, for those of you who don't get it): "sorry bro, ive been real busy and didnt see this until now but well def need to hang out soon! pce"
Any response like this in a similar situation is bullshit. I know that practically everyone checks their Facebook religiously and many have Facebook connected to their phones. There is no way in hell that someone doesn't see the message until right after it's offer/relevance has expired. I love it though! I cannot explain why, but it's awesome! It's probably because no one is ever too busy for Facebook. When someone tells me they didn't check Facebook for more than one day, I automatically know they are lying. There are some people who don't give a shit, but that's a different story, I know who you are. If you are one of those people who writes statuses that include song lyrics, bitching about life, showing everyone how much of a sports expert you are, or updating everyone about what you do everyday, then you are on Facebook everyday. These are the people that are lying when it comes to the "I was too busy to check Facebook" response. I call bullshit, and you pick up the cards. Is it really that hard to find the theater your movie is playing in? I especially think this is hilarious if it occurs during the school year. My friends are almost exclusively in college now and we all know that college students live on Facebook whether in class or dorm.
This all goes back to my musings on the summer time. The over-hype part of the summer is officially over. Thinking about all the awesome, uber-cool things we can do this summer ended a while ago. We are currently in the phase where nothing happens. Recently my summer has consisted of the following: hanging out by myself, cleaning up other people's shit, getting extremely pissed at video games, hanging out by myself, trying to understand tax, hanging out by myself...
Currently a typical hangout
The summer hasn't been terrible though. Work isn't bad because all the people I work with are real chill and movie-goers are sure entertaining to watch and interact with! Why are so many people against Twitter? I've kept myself entertained by avidly watching developments in the soccer world. I enjoy seeing who transfers to what team and how that will affect the rest of the leagues. Speaking of soccer, Bolivia managed to tie Argentina 1-1 today in an early Copa America game. Argentina and Barcelona superstar, Lionel Messi, said Argentina was surprised by Bolivia's shitty goal. What an asshole, I can't help but hope that he and Argentina fail to win the competition. While I am a huge supporter of Brazil in soccer, all biases aside, Lionel Messi is not the messiah everyone thinks he is. Bolivia's goal was probably just about as shitty as the majority of his goals. We all know that if Lionel Messi scored the exact same goal, it would be amazing; a true stroke of genius. You can decide for yourself:
I think that my fiends and other people must have the same issues I have with getting people to do things. The first problem is always getting people to respond, and it is definitely bullshit if no response is ever received for a question. "Well, there's a question mark at the end of the sentence............. I'm not going to respond." Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm such a jackass that people see I've contacted them and they think, "oh shit!! what the hell does this asshole want?? No matter what, I'm not responding for a while, I'll just tell him I'm busy. It's flawless!!"
Never forget: never say never!! Canada was good for something! Go get that Bieber FEVER!!
Social networking sites have become extremely popular over the past six or seven years and to be honest, they bother the shit out of me. Currently Facebook is the most popular social networking site, or at least I imagine that it is seeing that practically everyone I know has a profile. In my experience from using social networking sites, the ideology behind them is great. They are meant to stay in touch with your friends. However, people use them for the stupidest shit.
First of all, people think they are "cool" if they have tons of friends. Some people do have a lot of friends, but if you think you have 1,000 friends, then you're lying to yourself. How many of those people do they actually speak to?
Most, if not all, of the conversation that takes place on social networking sites is completely unnecessary. The conversations are practically all stupid, most commonly about how much people supposedly miss each other, making plans that will probably never happen, or something about how insanely drunk people got the other night.
The worst part by far about Facebook is status updates. I hate status updates. There's no need to broadcast your problems to all of your "friends." Maybe you should try having an actual conversation sometime that doesn't involve the "oh yeah, I saw that on Facebook" response. Statuses practically always tell me things I don't want or need to know. Here's a status update for Facebook users: NO ONE CARES!
I think this video by YouTube user LtMkilla most accurately sums up how I feel about Facebook in general:
I will more than likely revisit social networking in the future to further rant about it.
