Let's Talk Some Dead Space 3

First off, I want to make it clear that I dislike silverfish. I really do like most creatures, insects, arachnids, lizards, those types of creatures. But I really don't like silverfish. Those sly bastards walk around your bathroom like they pay you rent or something. I've got news for you, Walter Cronkite, (insert pause here) they don't. More to the point that I have yet to make, I'm losing faith rapidly in reviews of any kind. The only reason I still consult reviews on things, such as video games, movies, electronic products, music, etc. is simply because I don't have a bunch of money to burn to try them all myself. Regardless of reviews I knew I was buying Dead Space 3 because I love that video game series, it's probably my favorite granted I haven't played all that many series, though. Dead Space 3 has not received bad reviews, but the scores it is receiving are lower than the first two games for the most part. I enjoyed the game and thought it was fun. That's all I really care about.

My review of the game would say that Dead Space 3 was good. Dead Space and Dead Space 2 were also good games. I don't like rating scores because they are completely arbitrary. What really is the difference between 7.8, 8.4, and 9.6? Or why does one game get an 8.6 and another a 8.7? What accounts for a difference of 0.1? Who the hell knows, I just say it's good, it was ok, I didn't like it, or it sucked. That's an easy scale to understand. The first review I watched of Dead Space 3 was IGN's video review, which gave it a 7 point something. I'm not going to bother to look at the video again to get the exact score. I have since then lost all faith in the reviewer and the credibility of that review because the reviewer was puzzled why Ellie's eye was back. Yes, Ellie's eye was gauged out by Stross in Dead Space 2, but right after the 5 minute prologue of Dead Space 3, i.e. not very deep into the game, there is a text log in Isaac's apartment that tells you that Ellie got an eye replacement. No wonder this clown reviewer had a hard time following the story. Therefore I don't trust it.

Many reviews of the game said that Dead Space 3's story was dumb and was hard to follow. I don't agree with this. The story was no more ridiculous than the other two games. How can you even criticize how realistic the Dead Space story is? The whole thing is science fiction, that means it's made up. It's like saying that Star Wars isn't good because the story is unbelievable. So which part's of Dead Space 3, or any Dead Space for that matter, did you think were unrealistic? Probably just the part at the beginning of Dead Space 3 when f*ckin' Eskimo-like necromorphs are attacking you in the city before you get to the ice planet, right? Or maybe Kendra's babylons in the first Dead Space, those things were way too big to be real.

What? You don't think these are real?

 Maybe I just like the story because I'm a sick f*ck and I like weird, strange, demented things. Yes, I admit that I'm a bit of a sick f*ck when it comes to entertainment. But only in that strange, sick things such as the whole Dead Space atmosphere is very interesting to me. I like science fiction settings such as what is portrayed in Dead Space and I didn't think the Dead Space 3 story was any worse or better than the previous two. The only thing I can say is that Dead Space as a series might suffer from "Star Wars Syndrome." In my own strange mind I have created another way to describe things, just like a good psychologist would do! The Star Wars Syndrome is hard for me to explain but I'll do my best. Many people consider the second Star Wars movie of the original series, the Empire Strikes Back, to be the best, and one of the all-time great films. This of course is the film with the famous "Luke, I am your father" quote comes from. The first Star Wars film started the trilogy and got people interested. The second film was a masterpiece, a classic. Then the third film was alright, no Empire Strikes Back, but a decent film to wrap up the trilogy. I think that this is the same pattern that Dead Space followed in it's current trilogy state. I say that because there is definitely a possibility for another game. The first Dead Space game got people interested, the second was a masterpiece, a classic. The third game, the one to wrap up the trilogy was solid, but it wasn't the second game, it wasn't a masterpiece and it wasn't in the exact same vein as the original. So let's all bitch and moan about it.

This game is so unrealistic

Lots of people complain that Dead Space 3 lacks the horror of the first game. They complain that Dead Space 2 was much better. Well if these people want the horror of Dead Space, then go play Dead Space. If you think Dead Space 2 is that much better, then go play Dead Space 2. I think these people would be bitching if Visceral Games put out a Dead Space 2 clone. Then they would be claiming that EA are money whores and just put out the same game. Well, they do still complain that EA are money whores. At this point there's nothing EA can do about that. Any game that EA puts out is obviously a money grab. This reminds me of the Star Wars trilogy again. Some Star Wars fans got mad about what George Lucas did with the Star Wars films. Well f*ck them, those movies belong to George Lucas, he f*cking created it. The same goes for Dead Space. The Visceral team created the series, the can do whatever the hell they want with it.

My personal opinion on the game is that it is good. The combat is well polished and fun. I really like weapon crafting, I get a lot of enjoyment creating weapons that fit my play style. After I beat Dead Space 3 I started playing it again the next time I video gamed. I've only done that with one other game, Dead Space 2. I really enjoy this series. The criticism of Dead Space 3, in my opinion, is unwarranted. The game is good and I think the vast majority of the complaints are f*cking stupid. The only thing that bothers me is that often the enemies don't seem to react to getting shot like in the first two games. Mostly when using a weapon like the ripper.

One more thing, definitely get Dead Space 3: Awakened, the DLC once you complete the game. The DLC is not very long, but it's highly entertaining and interesting. It is also the reason I think there might be a Dead Space 4. Once again, I think Dead Space 3 is a good game, and no, I will not give it an arbitrary score.

Good Friday: A New Beginning

Wow, this has been a hectic week, a week in which much progress has been made. And by progress, I mean that I have finally obtained a legitimate job. I officially accepted a job yesterday, a salary job, too. No more hourly wages for me, thankfully. I think I've done my time, so now it's about time to flourish. I believe I mentioned it before, but I'm a late bloomer. I didn't have any internships during college, I worked at a movie theater, which you would probably know if you read this blog. If not, then go check out the "Summer Job Chronicles" in which I give a little insight into what that job at the movies was like. I do have to admit that I did have some fun at that place. But anyways, I've been a late bloomer in my estimation in multiple aspects of life. But I'd rather bloom late than rot, so I'm not complaining.

This past week I've spent a large quantity of time preparing and going for interviews. I have to say that it's actually been a good experience. I was actually getting to the point where I was enjoying getting interviewed. It was kind of fun. All of this culminated with a job offer last night, which I have accepted. Hooray for salaried employment! I won't be starting this job for another two weeks, but I am so happy that the search is finally over and I can focus on some other aspects of life/just chill out a bit.

Sir Alex Ferguson?

Now that I come to think about it, I don't really have that much to say right now besides what I've already told you. So let's talk about Dead Space 3 then. While I have yet to complete the game, I don't see anything wrong with it. I think it's fun and that's really what I want out of a video game. The only thing I don't like is that the death scenes have been toned down to a very boring level. The death scenes in Dead Space, especially the first one, were very entertaining, and Isaac's head usually fell off. In Dead Space 3 you merely see Isaac's body get smacked around until it lies motionless on the ground. Not very interesting. And for those people shitting on the story, I don't think it's much different from those told in the first two games. Of course the story is bizarre, it's a video game based in a fictional universe with fictional characters battling against a fictional marker that has some fictional religious group fixated on its powers. As for Isaac's ability to understand things about the marker that no one else understands, I'm rather certain that at some point in the second game players are notified that the marker from the first game like imprinted something on his brain. That's how he was able to unknowingly construct the marker on the Sprawl. I think that pretty much sums up why he can figure out/read some things that other people cannot that pertain to the marker.

Another big plus to this game is you can use a shotgun. In Dead Space almost all of the enemies run at you and get in your face. What better weapon to defend yourself from this type of attack than a shotgun? Is it a frickin' 12 gauge? I don't know, but it sure does pack one hell of a punch. And who doesn't like shotgunning baddies in a video game? I honestly do not understand the complaints about this game. Some people say that it's not scary anymore. While it is definitely not as scary as the first game for sure, what do you expect the game makers to do, make the same game again? I think that if they stuck to the exact same style as the first game people would complain that it's just the same game. It's one of those situations where there are always going to be angry people. Well, that actually sums up every situation, so I'll just go fist myself.

Heskey?

Since I don't have much more to say, I'll keep this short. I'm happy to finally have found a job that looks like it will be a good fit for me and a good start for my career. I'll do my best to come up with something to write about soon. Until then I hope you enjoyed the two random pictures.

The Things I Say: Video Game Edition

Recently I have not played video games much with other far less important things taking over my life, mainly work. However, I have been playing console video games since I got the original Xbox back in sixth grade and the memories of gaming have certainly stacked up since then. My fondest video game memories mostly revolve around me getting pissed and swearing and wetting myself into a fit of rage over something that has no real impact on my life or anything in reality. No matter how mad I get or how many f-bombs I drop, I still come back for more. I don't know what it is about video games, but they sure piss me off. I think video games piss me off because I play them to have fun, but I don't like losing or dying. I find it extremely difficult to find the medium between winning and losing in video games. I also think that's why I enjoy them so much. As I mentioned, I don't play video games as much as I used to and as a result I haven't gone on a hell-bent rampage over a video game in quite some time. That's probably good news for my blood pressure, but I also think it is healthy to let of some steam every once in a while.

When I did spend a decently good portion of free time playing video games, the things I remember most usually revolve around me getting pissed. I have come to notice that when I get pissed at video games I tend to use select phrases to describe how I'm feeling. What I notice is that most of the expressions/phrases I use could be stuck straight into a porno, gay or straight. I have no idea why, but I'm going to share these expressions/phrases with you and describe the situations that I use them in. I whole-heartily hope you enjoy reading about my misery, because I sure as hell know I'm going to enjoy writing it.

The list and description of these horrible things I say, but mostly yell, at video games is in no particular order. Some I use more often than others, some are really offensive, I've uttered all of them multiple times, and nobody should take them seriously at all. Actually you can if you'd like, I don't really mind. I will start with one of my, if not most controversial, than certainly high ranking on the controversy list, angry video game outbursts:

This is worse than having cancer!

I'm behind the curve and below average social status (I might dedicate a post to this at some point) so it makes sense that I did not join the ranks of next-gen gamers until I was a sophomore in college when I finally purchased and Xbox 360. I got it just in time to go back to school for second semester and it was totally worth buying. My Xbox 360 was the third in our suite and now we could play Halo 3 and include everyone we lived with! Yes, it was amazingly fun, and yes, we played way more Halo 3 than we should have, but damn it was fun! This was also my first taste of playing online multiplayer games online since I played Red Faction online back in eighth grade on a computer. We played so much Halo 3 online that of course there were many, many moments that pissed me off immensely. When things weren't going my way and I was getting my ass kicked badly, for some reason I started saying "this is worse than having cancer!" I have no idea why I started saying that, but I did. That phrase was kind of a joke in itself because obviously no video game torture is worse than cancer. Or is it? That's up to you to decide.

I would typically start uttering this simply awful phrase when other shitf**ks online would start camping near elevator exits with the sword, when I would empty an entire assault rifle clip into someone just to have them continue prancing toward me and blowing my brains out with one shot from a shotgun while I was reloading, when I continuously got run over a vehicle, or when the map Valhalla was selected in matchmaking. I still hate that map to this day despite not playing Halo 3 since who the hell knows when.

Halo 3 will always have a special place with me because of the fond memories I have playing it with a such a great group of people. Well, most of them were great #insidejoke. Who was that person we said perfectly fit the term assclown? #insidejokeagain Halo 3 is also the only game that I have ever uttered the phrase "this is worse than having cancer," and I have never stopped myself from doing so in another video game. The thought of saying that has just never crossed my mind except when playing Halo 3. That means that Halo 3 pissed me off to levels before unknown to me that I have been unable to reach since then. I don't know if I'll ever play Halo 3 again, but I sure as hell will never forget it. Damn, I hated Valhalla so much. How great was the Spartan Laser, though? Really enjoyed that gun.

One last note about Halo 3 and how it will forever live on in my memory. Just to add on to the Halo 3 legacy, this one time when we were playing a game online we saw this guy on the other team with the gamertag Benedict Arnold. By the way, one of the best things about playing games online is seeing other people's gamertags. So anyway, there's this guy on the opposing team with the gamertag Benedict Arnold and he starts killing the other players on his team. So on the kill feed at the bottom of the screen I kept seeing Benedict Arnold betrayed so-and-so, Benedict Arnold betrayed so-and-so, Benedict Arnold betrayed so-and-so, until his teammates finally kicked him from the game! I need say no more, that was a classic moment in my video game history and another instance of Halo 3 that I will not forget.

And by the way, I did get Halo 4 and it is amazing! I am really enjoying the first Halo not made by Bungie. Congratulations 343 Studios, you did a great job, at least as far as I can tell right now. I have heard that there is a remake of the map Valhalla though I have not played it yet. But I have really enjoyed the online multiplayer gameplay, the Promethean weaponry is crazy! I'm nicknaming all the Promethean weapons the "raper" since that is exactly what they do to opposing players! And yes, it is amazing!

Constant Ass-rape

If you have been reading my blog for a decent amount of time, then you probably already have heard me refer to "constant ass-rape." I mainly use this combination of words when describing how I feel playing Fifa. Now let me first say that I have not felt the constant ass-rape nearly as painstaking in Fifa 13 as I have in Fifas 10-12. In Fifa 10-12 I always felt that when I had possession the computer operated team was relentlessly on a hellbent rampage after the ball carrier and constantly raping my players to win possession back. The player or position of the player did not matter, hell, I think the computer's attackers were far superior at stealing the ball from me than my defenders were at stealing the ball from them. My defenders felt like the imperial storm troopers. They were there, but they didn't do their job very well.

When I would play Fifa 10-12 I would constantly bitch and moan about how my players were always getting raped and barely ever received a foul for putting up with any of it. While Fifa 13 has certainly made defense better and my players are not always getting molested whenever in possession, I still very, very rarely get a foul call. I think all the referees in the game are racist against me.

Mainly I use "constant ass-rape" in reference to Fifa, but sometimes it's a good way to describe Call of Duty. I've been in some absolute f**k fests in Call of Duty. The games where I keep dying multiple times in a row because there is practically unlimited enemy air support lighting up the ground beneath it with heavy duty artillery really pisses me off. These situations I also call a constant ass-rape just because I can't f**king do anything. I die, respawn, get killed by some asshole using a f**king flying killing machine that is basically the harbinger of death, respawn, get killed by the harbinger of death again, and the cycle continues until the game decides that enough time has passed and the harbinger of death has to go away. The only problem is that it comes back. I trust that you are intelligent enough to know what happens when it comes back. But if not, a constant ass-rape.

Fu**ing F*gs

I yell/say this phrase in many volumes, tones, and levels of anger. First I would like to point out my use of the word f*g. I will always pen this word f*g in this blog because I'm an asshole, but I say it not in an offense way to people who swing the other way, you know, the crooked folk. I'm not a homophobe or anything, homosexual people do not bother me. I use the word f*g to describe those I do not like for an infinite amount of reasons. For video game purposes, a f*g is anyone who kills me in an online multiplayer game. I don't care if the person is better than me, if he or she started shooting me way before I shot at them, or any reason whatsoever, if they kill me, then they are a f*g. There is no reasoning with me, you'll just have to accept it. I hate dying in video games and they made me die, the f*gs. The same goes for anyone who scores a goal on me in Fifa, they are a f*g. Of course this only pertains to the unknown people I play online, occasionally a friend might score a goal on me or kill me, but they really have to piss me off in some way to make me give them the label. Whenever someone kills me or scores on me that I do not know, which is most of the time, I always tend to think of some fat kid with an increasingly expanding gut who is guzzling soda while downing Doritos and spends about 16 hours each day gaming. Damn, f*gs.

I'm Getting My Asshole Plowed!

When I'm getting absolute peppered by enemy opposition I describe this as "getting my asshole plowed." I think I adopted this phrase for this situation because of the endless penetration from seemingly each and every angle. This could be in an online game such as Halo or Call of Duty, or in the actual campaign of a game such as Borderlands. The enemies' relentless blasting can sometimes become unbearable, but without the struggle how can there be any fun? Of course there are instances in games such as the Dead Space series where you might actually get your asshole plowed by a necromorph that sneaks up behind you and cornholes you. So if you ever find yourself in my vicinity and here me talking about getting my asshole plowed, I can assure you there is no gay sex going on, I'm just getting peppered or cornholed in a video game. By the way, the word cornhole needs to come back, it's a great word.

I'm coming for your butt hole!

Another spin of this phrase is "this guy is raking my butt hole!" I say this when there's that one f**ker who keeps killing me over, and over, and over again. This makes me so mad! I'm not quite sure why I use the word "rake," but for some reason I like that word. I also prefer the phrase "rake over the coals" as opposed to "throw under the bus." Maybe it's because more people refer to getting "thrown under the bus" by people who rat them out or something. I prefer "so-and-so raked me over the coals." I guess I just find it more original, though it means essentially the same thing. I like the imagery, too. Getting thrown over hot coals sounds like a very slow and painful means of torture while the train would probably end you almost instantly, in most cases I would think at least.

Get F**ked!

I tend to yell "get f**ked" when I get excited because I'm going on a mini rampage in an online multiplayer game or I finally killed that f**ker who has been plowing and or raking my asshole! I use the word "mini" to describe any kind of rampage I go on in an online multiplayer game because I suck and what I think is raping the other team is nothing to those people who play 16 hours each day. I would also like to point out how great the word "rape" is in video gaming. If anyone is wondering why people say they are getting raped or are raping in video games, I think it's because no one likes to get raped. No one likes to get dominated in a video game either, therefore he or she is getting raped. On the other hand, the person enjoying it is the enjoying it, thus they are the raper. They are bringing the pain. I realize this sounds horrible, but it's the best explanation I can come up with. Anyways, when I'm killing people online I like to say or shout "get f**ked!" I know that Chase can attest to this given our conversations over Xbox Live. This is one of my favorite video game sayings because it means I have gone and done good!

I had written a few other phrases down, but I'm going to end this here. I hope you have gained some insight into why I say or yell things at my television set whilst playing video games. I'm not crazy or really angry for that matter, it's a temporary feeling of rage and nothing to worry about. Sure I've made some holes in walls over the years, but that's about it. I've only hurt myself in minor ways. Finding that medium between a challenge and fun is very difficult. It's like medicine, it's not a science. Thank you, Dr. Spaceman.

I'm considering doing a series about the things that I say in given situations under certain constraints and what not. This is the first, and possibly last, installment of the series! I'm also thinking of taking up Chase's idea in starting another series entitled "Good Friday." I wrote a post back in 2011 about Good Friday, the Christian thing, when I was in the dining hall at school and some crazy girl in front of me told her friend on chicken nugget Friday that if she ate any meat she would go to hell. Chase told me it would be funny if I had tagged it "Good Friday" and it had nothing to do with the holiday, but rather it was a series of posts with that title. I like that idea, so maybe I'll do a Good Friday series where I will discuss who knows what. So many possibilities and just one piece of crap to make it all happen.

I wish all my readers the best! I don't know where I would be without all of you. Get it? Because barely anyone reads this. The explain the joke joke! It's hilarious! And as always, be champions.

An Addicting Formula

If you haven't figured it out by now I will forever be perplexed, but I absolutely enjoy the game of soccer. Yes, I do believe that soccer is the greatest sport known to man, so it should also be no surprise that I really like the Ultimate Team function on the newest editions of Fifa games. Previously I congratulated EA for the improvements made to the latest installment of the series, Fifa 12. Recently I've been playing a good deal of Fifa simply because of the Ultimate Team segment. Soccer, in my estimation fits the Ultimate Team formula better than any other sport because of the vast abundance of soccer players from everywhere! Ultimate Team allows the player to build a team from a bunch of lackluster clowns to a group of superstars! If you make it that far that is, which basically means you take the time to build your team. Building your team is all the fun, though. You can purchase players with actual money, but it is way more fun and rewarding to earn coins from playing matches and buying player card packs.

Chase and I were talking about Ultimate Team via xbox live chat the other night and we kept mentioning buying packs. It sounded like we were talking about getting cigarettes. You wouldn't believe how many times I had to retype "cigarettes," apparently I don't know how to spell that word. But when I'm talking about buying packs, I'm talking about player packs of Fifa Ultimate Team! I always find it quite exciting to open a new one because I never know who I'm going to get! As I mentioned before, building a team is so much fun and the large number of players in the soccer world keeps the action fresh all the time. Soccer has great player depth. What I mean by that is that there are many quality players outside of the superstars. There are lots of players that casual fans would never have heard of, but are actually quite good. The game even gives you the option to create multiple lineups spanning many different formations and players. Ultimate Team is my favorite feature in a sports video game in quite some time, probably ever. In fact, I don't play sports video games anymore with the exception of Fifa because it is so good. While I do have a love-hate relationship with the game, which I will probably get into in another post, it is quite good despite what I might say in fit of rage.

I definitely believe that Messi and CR7 are faster than Eto'o

 My Ultimate Team is named Dominationspor because I like to think that I dominate and I would like to pay homage to the Turkcel Super Lig which is sadly not in the game because of licensing agreements, or lack of agreements... sad face. For those of you who still don't get it, almost every team in Turkey ends with spor at the end of the team name. And without the Super Lig that means no Alex or Alanzinho. I do hope to build my team up so I can one day take on Chase's Ultimate Team which is superior to mine, I have no gold players yet, but I do have Kike! You can chose how you want to pronounce that one.


While on the subject of soccer, yesterday, March 29, 2012 marked the first time that the US beat Italy every. They won the game 1-0 with a goal by former Revolution star Clint Dempsey, Oh Dempsey! For any of you that played Fifa World Cup 2012? It might be that game, but I remember one Fifa game where the announcer would always say "Oh Dempsey!" when he had the ball. Almost as good as the saying for Roberto Carlos, "loves to get on the ball." I just wanted to pay some respects to the national team for such a large accomplishment. I think Italy is currently ranked eighth in the world right now by Fifa, so that's a substantial victory for a severely under-appreciated team. I say the US national team is under-appreciated because of the horrible stereotype that soccer has in the US. I will have to post about how stupid basketball and football are as an attempt to do soccer some justice. But that's a matter for another time, some time when I'm angry and need to blow off some steam or something. Luckily I haven't felt that way in a while, probably not since my last anti-Facebook rant which was some time ago now.

Recently I have reverted to happiness, there's not too much bothering me except for the massive amount of projects I have to do this semester, but it really could be a hell of a lot worse. Really the only thing that bothers me now is all the stupid shit I hear my roommate talking about, but I've found a way to channel that, too, by sharing it with all of my readers! The first edition just came out the other day so if you haven't seen it, go read it now! I will most likely be bringing you more of the moronic shit I hear.

Back to Ultimate Team, the only thing I would change is Fernando Torres' value. Listed as a gold player, I think Torres should be a bronze, one of the lackluster clowns you start with at the beginning of your campaign and quickly get rid of in favor of much better players. Why am I so harsh on Torres? It's quite simple, he's a striker, a guy who is supposed to score goals, who has a severe issue scoring goals. A striker that can't score goals is useless. Maybe I should check is shooting accuracy before making this claim, but I'm sure it is a lot higher than it should be. Torres' best days are definitely behind him and gold status is definitely not deserved. They probably should have made him faster than Eto'o while they were at it.

So I love soccer and I love Fifa. I'll leave you with this great video....

Thank You, EA

I know that I had absolutely nothing to do with it, but I'll take credit anyways. In my second post ever (yeah I know there are no pictures and it's boring) I bitched about how much I did not like the defending in EA Sports most recent Fifa games. The defense system annoyed me because all a person had to do was hold down the "A" button (I play on XBOX) and the defender would relentlessly pursue you until he won the ball. I refer to this as a constant ass rape. There is no way around this constant ass rape and it pissed me off. Well, it still pisses me off to this day, but thankfully in Fifa 12 the developers have gotten rid of this shitty defense system. I still suck at playing defense, but I don't get relentlessly hounded by every man on the pitch anymore. I know there is no way in hell that EA saw my article and thought "wow, this shithead is right," and then decided to reconfigure the defending system, but I'll take credit anyway. In the newest edition, or at least what I can tell from the limited time that I have actually played it, holding "A" down will help you stay near the man with the ball, but the person playing must actually get in close and press "B" to attempt stealing the ball or tug at the possessor's shirt. Tugging on shirts, another thing that is an absolute must in soccer simulations! No one plays soccer without grabbing the oppositions' garments! I applaud EA for making this change to the defense system, I think it's the best thing they've done in years, and that's saying something considering how great the Fifa franchise is.

I guess you can pull your own uniform, too

Speaking of soccer, I am still baffled that so many Americans can watch other sports and think soccer sucks. Now that I am following/watching soccer again, I can barely watch any other sports. Soccer doesn't catch on in the United States because there is no time for commercial breaks (they play continuous halves, leaving halftime as the only time for commercials) and the players don't have to wear equipment to compensate for getting drilled. Not to mention that many sports are just a rip off of soccer with a weird spin thrown on them. Instead of using feet, we'll use hands. Instead of scoring goals, we'll score baskets/touchdowns (or you will score goals if you're playing hockey).

I'll have to dedicate more time to why sports that aren't soccer suck, I have a lot of reasons. The intolerance of soccer fueled these reasons, but I can't go back now. What a coincidence, I was going on about how much I like what the creators have done with Fifa 12, and who would have guessed, I just got it in the mail today! What a coincidence. I've only played two games thus far, but the game is great. The actual soccer game play gets refined a little bit each year making each installment more realistic than the last. I guess they have to do something like that or else no one would buy the newest edition. So far the only thing I really do not like about the game has absolutely nothing to do with the game play, graphics, or anything like that. What bothers me is that the Turkish soccer league has not been included in Fifa 12. I have played extensively as the club Fenerbahce in the past two Fifas and greatly enjoyed it. Fenerbahce has a great team and an exquisite player, Alex, on it that I love to play with. Alex, a Brazilian midfielder, is in my opinion the most underrated player in all of soccer and I can no longer play as him or his team.

Alex, the most underrated and unknown

I really don't get why Alex (de Souza) doesn't get called up to the Brazilian national team either. He was a captain at one point, then suddenly he just never gets called upon. Something is fishy there. He definitely deserves more recognition and a spot in Fifa 12. He's a goal and assist machine, if he isn't scoring the goals, then he's setting his teammates up. One year when Fenerbahce were in the Champions League, Alex led the whole tournament in assists and Fenerbahce didn't even advance very far. I don't know why he doesn't play for Brazil or get interest from big market teams. I guess no one wants an explosive attacking player, teams would rather go after pieces of shit like Fernando Torres. No one should have high hopes for Torres. If he had any potential, then Barcelona would be bidding for him just like anyone else on the Spanish national team that's worth anything.


Besides the lack of inclusion of the Turkish Super Lig, I highly recommend Fifa 12. I have yet to play an online match, I'll probably get to that tonight. I'm just guessing, but I would bet that when I do play online my opponents will choose Barcelona, Chelsea, Manchester United, Manchester City, or Real Madrid to play as. I don't need to explain myself. What I don't know is what team I will play as, there's no more Fenerbahce!


In the upcoming days, hours, months, years, who knows, I do plan on posting some more of my rants on social networking. I've had my edition about statuses sitting around in the draft box for far too long. I'll have to do some final editing and release that bad boy. I'm also planning on releasing some shit about "unfriending" "defriending," what ever you want to call it. I find the whole thing rather comical, so stay tuned for that. Lastly, check out Alex, the guy is insane!

Really EA?

I thoroughly enjoy EA sports Fifa soccer franchise, but there are some things about it that endlessly annoy me. Having played Fifa 10 somewhat extensively and now getting a good taste of Fifa 11 I find myself wondering why every time I have possession of the ball there is a guy from the opposing team hauling ass at me in an ridiculous, hell-bent effort to steal the ball from me. I don't know about you, but in the soccer I've watched and played, this is hardly the case. No one has the stamina to relentlessly harass the ball carrier. This pisses me off because it seems so easy for the A.I. players on the other team to steal the ball from me. I also don't understand how Ronaldinho, who plays hardly, if any, defense in real life, can steal the ball from me and I can't steal the ball from anyone with my defenders. Apparently I should be signing Ronaldinho to play lock-down defense for my squad.

I was playing Fifa 11 earlier tonight and I have no idea how players on Real Salt Lake are pulling off spin moves and other skill maneuvers they cannot do. It was all topped off when Findley placed one perfectly in the far upper corner from a mesmerizing angle. First off, Findley has enough trouble putting the ball in the back of an open net, let alone pin-pointing a laser beam shot from the far end of the box.

Playing defense in Fifa is flat out frustrating to me. I hold the "A" button down to relentlessly charge my opponent who has the ball expecting to have the same success that it has against me. Much to my amazement, my opponent is able to hold off not only one defender, but as many as three as he effortlessly strolls down the pitch and puts a perfectly placed shot by my inept goalkeeper. I definitely believe that any person has the ability to run with the ball while using both arms to hold off people attempting to get the ball from them.

I'm convinced that the only reason legendary difficulty is hard is because of how much the game just screws the human player. All deflections go to the computer's team, the A.I. opponent somehow effortlessly walks through any defense, practically all my slide tackles result in cards, and anyone is capable of stealing the ball from me regardless of who I have controlling the ball or who is trying to steal it from me.

I really like the Fifa franchise, but I can't stand some of the game's dynamics because they are in no way like real soccer.

Be Champions