Setting the Record Straight

Accidentally I have created a monstrosity that could potentially turn into a real atrocity. Allow me to set the record straight and avoid a dreadful (not really) fate. I like to have fun, especially through horrible pun, but I don't like to excessively drink, rather I prefer to incessantly think. However, what I say could get misconstrued in a confusing way. Alcohol is not so bad, though in the past it has driven me mad. I admit I was wrong, but I still wouldn't touch a bong. In fact I would rather whack my dong. A strict alcohol policy I followed left me with memories hollowed. I must say I'm beginning to come around, but you'll never find me passed out on the ground. I don't believe it's too late, I've always been on the late bloomer slate.

I can say the same for a certain book, though I don't believe it deserves the obscene amount of looks. I don't hate because I'm overly irate. I guess I'm just a little old fashioned, I'd rather get the info from the source with all the passion (or lack thereof). It's not all bad, it just feels like a terribly long lasting fad. Can't we all communicate face to face instead of in cyber space?

I'm penning this piece to set the record straight and lift the figurative massive weight. Fun is measured in many different ways, only depending on how the mind sways. No longer is alcohol something I'm against, certainly it can be a worthy expense (cost to have fun?). However, I have no intentions of getting belligerent, that would just be ignant (said like Michael Jackson in South Park). So cheers to my peers.

P.S.
I didn't intentionally make this rhyme, do you think I have that kind of time?

P.S.S.
In case you were confused by the rhyme scheme (if that's even what you would call it) in the beginning of this post, what I'm saying is that it's ok to drink some alcohol. I'm not totally against it like I was in the past. The same is true about online social networking. It's not that bad, basically it's just that the people who are annoying as f**k in real life are just as annoying online. I think that's an easy enough concept. As for the alcohol part, there's nothing wrong with having some adult beverages. What I don't understand is having so much that it negatively affects the person drinking it. That sounds terrible to me. Now that I've got all that off my chest, I'm going to go get f**ked up, so I'll catch you later!

A few hours later...

I didn't really go anywhere or drink anything. Just in case you were wondering.