Super Bowl Thoughts

Like most of the Super Bowl viewing audience, I was disappointed by the Super Bowl this year. That part where the Broncos scored one touchdown really put a damper on what was otherwise a terrific game. I would have been elated if the Seattle Seahawks won the game 60-0, but I guess I'll take the 43-7 walloping they rained down on Peyton Manning and company. Couldn't the Seahawks at least have reached 50 points? Is that too much to ask?

I'm not a typical sports fan when it comes to the definition of a "good" game, or race, or whatever kind of competition you're watching. Personally, I think it's unfair to call last weekend's Super Bowl game bad or boring, or whatever other negative adjective you'd like to use to describe it. Why, Toninho, why shouldn't we be upset the championship game of our beloved National Football League was a blowout? Well, I don't think it's right to call a game of athletic competition bad just because one team pounds the other. If one team is decisively better than another on a given day, then the score should reflect that. Athletic competition should not exist to entertain the masses, though it might in some cases. Not every game or race is going to be close, and just because the championship game is one of those does not make it "bad." If the game had ended 2-0 with no scoring after the safety on the first play of the game, it must have been "good," right? Because it was a close game, right? No, that's just f*cking stupid.

From my point of view, if you are on the team that is dominating a game, there is no reason to let up. While I was just a mediocre track runner, if I was way ahead in a race I would never slow down, I always wanted to beat my competition by the biggest margin that I could muster. Never once did I think of slowing down to make it a closer race, that's against everything that is athletic competition.

I'm cut from a different cloth, I love blowouts. I don't mind close, intense games, but I love blowouts, especially if I'm rooting for one team in particular. I love looking at a team that has the life sucked out of them and then seeing their dejected fans in the stands. It's amazing. Domination is king for me as far as athletics are concerned. There can definitely be "bad" games, but a blowout is not the definition of a bad game and just because a game is close does not mean that it's good.

I really am bummed out that Denver scored, I was pulling hard for that shutout. Also, Denver only scored because of a lame penalty called on an unsuccessful third down play. I'm sure most people will disagree with me, but that's fine. I'm only saying that I can enjoy a sporting event that is lopsided and in many instances I prefer it, especially when I want a particular team to win.

The Super Bowl was very entertaining and I had a great time watching it. I miss the 2007 season when the Patriots were constantly shitting on people and everyone was accusing them of running up the score. If the opposing defenses could stop them, they wouldn't have lost by so much. It's not their fault if the other teams couldn't stop them. I enjoyed listening to those ass clowns complain about the Patriots going for it on fourth down when they already had an insurmountable lead. Wouldn't it be more automatic to kick a field goal? If the Patriots beat up on a team they're running up the score, but if Peyton manning beats up on a team, he's a national hero. It's just plain f*cking stupid and another reason why it sucks that the Broncos scored.

I miss these days

The Ideal Super Bowl - Volume 2

Last year I proved what a sick f*ck I am while describing what I would like to see happen in the Super Bowl between the San Francisco 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens. I am very happy to announce that regardless of what happens this year in the Super Bowl, that ass-turd Colin Kaepernick and that detestable shit-f*ck Jim Harbaugh will not host the trophy and declare themselves "world champions" of the United States' National Football League. Without beating around the bush, I declare that I would like to see the Seattle Seahawks humiliate the Denver Broncos. I don't want that goober Peyton Manning winning another Super Bowl. Further more, I hope that Richard Sherman has a monster game just to piss off all the recent people that are hating on him for what is an early leader for my favorite moment in sports for 2014.

I wish more players did interviews like the one Sherman did after the NFC Championship game. All the people who didn't like it can go pound sand. That's the pure emotion that Sherman was feeling and he gets fined for it. What a bunch of bullshit. I hope Sherman gets multiple interceptions and throws up the choke sign to Manning just like he did to Kaepernick. Then next week we can listen to a bunch of analysts, experts, and talk show host bitch about it. If they don't like this kind of stuff, they shouldn't even watch the games. If they think that's wrong, I wonder what they think of all the shit talking going on during the game.

Ideally I want to see a huge blizzard hit the Super Bowl this year just because the Super Bowl is being played outside for the first time that I can remember in my insignificant existence. I have beef with the National Football League so it would bring me much joy if anything that could go wrong did go wrong at the big event.

The blocked out word is "nerd"

So the stage is set with a little bit of bad weather. On the Broncos first drive Manning drops back and throws one of his signature wobbly-duck passes down field which is picked off by Sherman. Peyton Manning looks on dumb founded and wonders why his gloves didn't help him throw a better pass so he tugs on them. Seahawks score and never looks back. Manning throws another pick and some people start talking about spy-gate. This Super Bowl match up does not lend itself nearly as well to making a ridiculous story as last year. Basically I want to see a bad game from Manning and a great game from Sherman resulting in a Seahawks victory. I don't really give a shit about how it happens.

Of course now that Super Bowl Sunday is here, it has to be abnormally warm, so I guess there won't be a blizzard like I hoped. Not only would the blizzard have been great for the game, it also would have been amazing if Bruno Mars had to play the halftime show in shitty, freezing weather. I would have found this immensely satisfying because I don't like halftime shows, especially Super Bowl halftime shows. Super Bowl halftime shows are way too long and are horrible. If I wanted to see a concert I would have tuned into a concert or bought tickets to a concert. I'm watching the Super Bowl for the game, which brings up another point. I don't like it when people say they only watch the Super Bowl for the commercials. Again, if you want to watch commercials that's fine, but you can do that whenever the hell you want. Just turn on your t.v. anytime and you can watch commercials. You'll see the same shit as when you're watching the Super Bowl.

I'm done for now, I need to get this piece of crap posted before the Super Bowl actually happens.

More Like Super Crap

The end of January/the beginning of February is upon us, meaning that a horrid event is upon us: the Super Bowl. Over the past few years I have really developed a dislike for the Super Bowl. This dislike started during the first Super Bowl between the Patriots and the Giants, after the 2007/2008 season. That year the Patriots had won 18 of 18 games going into the Super Bowl to play a Giants team that I don't think deserved to be in the "Super Bowl." That team was anything but super. Of course they won, then were crowned "world champions" because that makes so much sense. Since that moment I've developed my doubts about the American structure of sports leagues. For the most part I dislike postseason play and the championship game/series structure. I think this structure only gives the illusion of fairness because it allows for more variety of champions. The team that wins the most does not always win the championship. I just think that's stupid, but hey, I'm stupid too.

I haven't made up my mind yet, but I am certainly leaning toward not watching the Super Bowl this year. Why? I think the match up sucks. I would not watch a San Francisco 49ers versus Baltimore Ravens game on a regular Sunday, so I've decided that Super Bowl Sunday is no different. I don't care if it's the Super Bowl. The only reason that game means more than a regular season game is because some ass clowns decided it is. I also just see it as a match up between two of the dirtiest defenses in the league.

This image should be enough to dislike the Super Bowl and what it stands for

When thinking about this year's Super Bowl match up, there is only one highly improbable, and probably impossible, scenario that I would enjoy to see unfold. I will describe that scenario here:

On the 49ers first offensive play, Colin Kaepernick drops back to throw a pass. He doesn't see any throw he can make, so he decides to be a piece of shit and run. However, he's forgotten that he's playing against a bunch of criminals, mainly Ray Lewis. Ray Lewis gets to Kaepernick and does something that I cannot describe, but it's absolutely horrible. The hit/tackle/stab or whatever you want to call it on Kaepernick is so horrible that Kaepernick cannot continue to play in the game, which means Alex Smith must come in. But before that happens, 49ers coach, Jim Harbaugh, gets so mad about the hit that he raises his blood pressure so high that his insides explode, something that asshole deserves.

Meanwhile, while Kaepernick is writhing on the ground in pain as punishment for being a punk-ass running QB and Jim Harbaugh is dying, Ray Lewis is getting arrested by the police for his extremely illegal hit on the pansy. Ray Lewis goes to jail, Kaepernick is out of the game, and Harbaugh suffers the consequences for all his yelling and assholeness. Everyone gets what they deserve, in my estimation at least. Then Alex Smith comes into the game and the 49ers blowout the Ravens.

Of course none of this will happen, and yes, it does sound a bit mean. But I would very much like to see a mockery made of this game. Or hear that it turned into a mockery because I'm most likely not going to watch it. I was just beginning to come around on football, too, but as I started to watch the game again, I just find myself finding more reasons to dislike the game of football. I'm going to stick with baseball and soccer, two sports that I can respect. And it's not just football, I don't like basketball either. I have no opinion on hockey other than it is a rip off of soccer played on ice.




I also realize that my scenario for the Super Bowl is mean and obscene, but so is the sport. I also find it comical that a sport based on hitting and tackling people has rules. They should just get rid of the rules and let them all injure each other. And I haven't even mentioned all the great personalities and figures in football that make outstanding role models for young people. Hint, that was sarcasm. Go ahead and call me whatever you want because I like soccer. At least in the foreign soccer leagues if you were to win every game on your schedule you would be league champions...

The Super Bowl sucks, but the temperatures aren't in the 40s in my house anymore! Man, the beginning of last week was miserable with no heat, but that problem is taken care of and Dead Space 3 comes out a week from Tuesday! If was rich and had lots of excess money I would buy one of those machines that lets you record game play footage and make videos of my first play through of Dead Space 3, but I don't so I won't. Just thought I would let you know, though.

I wonder if anyone else feels the same way about football and the structure of American sports.