Drama on ebay!

I don't need to go out and pay for entertainment when I can comfortably experience it in the comfort of my own home. I could not have possibly scripted a better sequence of events than what actually happened during my first attempt to sell an item online. After the close of the spring 2011 semester, I still have a few books from classes I took during the year. I usually use Chegg to rent textbooks because it is so much cheaper than buying them. If you don't use Chegg or have never heard of it, I strongly recommend checking it out because it can save you a good amount of money. Chegg also plants trees for you if you rent from them! Enough of my plug for Chegg, let's get back to the story. I could not find a couple of books I needed on Chegg, unfortunately. So I took it up the ass and bought them from wherever I could find them the cheapest, which is still more than I would ever want to pay.

One of the books I had left over was a corporate tax book dated the 2011 edition. I figured this one would still be worth some money as long as I sold it quickly. We all know that those bastards in the textbook industry like to release new editions yearly, or as frequently as possible to keep students buying them because they have no other choice. What's the difference in each edition? Who knows, they must change a sentence or two and make the numbers in each problem slightly different, but other than that, I don't think the actual material is changing often enough to warrant the frequent release of newer editions.

So I decided to try to sell the corporate tax book on ebay for way less than I bought it for just earlier this year. The edition of this book that I had was loose-leaf, meaning that it is not bound. Loose-leaf implies that there is no cover. Loose-leaf means that you get all the pages of the book. Now let us take a moment to review what the difference between a loose-leaf book and a book is. A book is a bunch of pieces of paper bound together with a cover, whereas a loose-leaf book is only the pieces of paper that the book is comprised of, without having a cover of any kind. Now we have clarification that there is no difference in the material of a book and a loose-leaf book, just the absence of a cover and binding. In fact, you can put only the chapters that you are currently using into a binder when using the loose-leaf format so you don't have to lug around the entire book! I think this clarification is important to the story, so we can continue now.

Facts are so much fun!

Brand new, this book sold for I believe somewhere between $200 and $300, but probably closer to the $300 figure. I don't remember exactly how much I paid for it, but I was only trying to sell it for $50. I chose $50 because the book had already had at least two owners, I don't have the software that it comes with (but  I don't think most courses even use that piece of crap anyways), and the 2012 edition is probably coming out very soon. I thought, and still think that this price is extremely cheap and reasonable. Also, I would like to add that in the description of the item I noted that the book was loose-leaf, and we all know what that means right? Once I had the description taken care of I put the book up for sale and didn't really think much of it.

After a few days I actually forgot that I had even put the book up for sale. Good thing when you have an account on any website it is linked to your e-mail or else I probably wouldn't have even noticed that someone purchased the book. The person who bought it had also sent me a message about how he (I'm certain this customer is a male due to the way he wrote his messages, you'll see what I mean quite soon) was a little concerned about the purchase because he noticed that I was a first time seller. I understand this completely and assured him that I would in fact be sending him the corporate tax book. I actually sent the book out the day right after he bought it, but during the week he continually sent me e-mails asking about when the book was going to arrive and other questions. Honestly it was getting kind of annoying, but it was quite worth it when I got a message from him when the book arrived.

I had just got home from a delightful game of friz with some local friends, had eaten dinner, showered, and was ready to relax for the rest of the night. Casually I went on my computer and checked my e-mail and I pleasantly found out that the item had made it to the buyer:

Dear me,

Are you shitting me? What did you send me? Papers wrapped in saran wrap.... Hell NO... I bought a book, not some pieces of paper... 100% FULL REFUND....NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You have got to be kidding... Not doing too well for your first sale. How embarassing, I would never even think about selling something like this? Didn't you think you were ripping me off charging $51? You have 3 hours to get back to me.

-angry ebay customer

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Simply, my night was complete. I gained a lot of knowledge from this message. I was unaware that a book was not made out of pieces of paper. I guess all he really wanted was the cover, shame on me. I still can't figure out why he gave me a three hour time limit. What the hell was he going to do if I responded in four hours? I'm not sure what he means when he says "I would never even think about selling something like this?" There's not supposed to be a question mark there either, but let us attempt to figure out what he means by "something like this." Did he expect loose-leaf to not be a bunch of papers? Also, $51 for a textbook is a bargain, I wish I got all my books for that price. I decided not to be a dick, though, and responded kindly to the disgruntled buyer. The piece of shit can have a refund if he wants, but he could have been nicer about it. He did tell me soon afterwards that he admits to "blowing his lid" and that he is actually considering taking the item as it is. So, at this point in time I don't really know what is going to happen, I might get the book back, or he might keep it.

I imagine this is what he looked like while typing the message, very satisfying

Given the situation, I wonder what this guy is like in real life. Obviously I don't know this guy, it's not like he's one of my "friends" on Facebook or anything so I have no idea what kind of personality he has. That message he sent me was full of rage and anger, but I'm not sure he would have said anything like that to my face. Well, I can only speculate, but I find it funny to picture some fat piece of shit that has no friends venting his frustration into items he bought on ebay. I also find it amusing to picture this guy yelling the words of that angry message in my face.

I don't know if I'll ever attempt to sell an item online again, but this particular experience was priceless and memorable to the point that I will probably never forget it. Thank you for the memory, ebay.