Accidentally I have created a monstrosity that could potentially turn into a real atrocity. Allow me to set the record straight and avoid a dreadful (not really) fate. I like to have fun, especially through horrible pun, but I don't like to excessively drink, rather I prefer to incessantly think. However, what I say could get misconstrued in a confusing way. Alcohol is not so bad, though in the past it has driven me mad. I admit I was wrong, but I still wouldn't touch a bong. In fact I would rather whack my dong. A strict alcohol policy I followed left me with memories hollowed. I must say I'm beginning to come around, but you'll never find me passed out on the ground. I don't believe it's too late, I've always been on the late bloomer slate.
I can say the same for a certain book, though I don't believe it deserves the obscene amount of looks. I don't hate because I'm overly irate. I guess I'm just a little old fashioned, I'd rather get the info from the source with all the passion (or lack thereof). It's not all bad, it just feels like a terribly long lasting fad. Can't we all communicate face to face instead of in cyber space?
I'm penning this piece to set the record straight and lift the figurative massive weight. Fun is measured in many different ways, only depending on how the mind sways. No longer is alcohol something I'm against, certainly it can be a worthy expense (cost to have fun?). However, I have no intentions of getting belligerent, that would just be ignant (said like Michael Jackson in South Park). So cheers to my peers.
P.S.
I didn't intentionally make this rhyme, do you think I have that kind of time?
P.S.S.
In case you were confused by the rhyme scheme (if that's even what you would call it) in the beginning of this post, what I'm saying is that it's ok to drink some alcohol. I'm not totally against it like I was in the past. The same is true about online social networking. It's not that bad, basically it's just that the people who are annoying as f**k in real life are just as annoying online. I think that's an easy enough concept. As for the alcohol part, there's nothing wrong with having some adult beverages. What I don't understand is having so much that it negatively affects the person drinking it. That sounds terrible to me. Now that I've got all that off my chest, I'm going to go get f**ked up, so I'll catch you later!
A few hours later...
I didn't really go anywhere or drink anything. Just in case you were wondering.
September is not typically the month when you think of what you're thankful for. Usually that crap happens during the holidays, like Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I can't wait that long. I get impatient sometimes. One of the things I'm most thankful for is political correctness. I'm really glad political correctness is around because I like politically incorrect things. Without political correctness, politically incorrect statements or ideas would not be funny, so I kindly thank the people who made political correctness possible. I just think it's way too much fun to see a black person in a car and say something about how he or she must have stolen it. Now I don't actually think that, at least not most of the time, but it sure is funny! I also find this joke incredibly amusing:
Q: What do you call a black transformer?
A: Optimus Crime
Political correctness just opens up a whole world of funny. Basically, I mean that anything that isn't "publicly acceptable" is hilarious. I really enjoy exploiting stereotypes for my own amusement, and sometimes for the amusement of others. I'm no racist, but seriously, this stuff is funny, and anyone who can't appreciate politically incorrect jokes should lighten up a bit and remove the stick that is embedded deep into their asshole. Just because a lot of convenient stores are run by Indians offering you a Slurpee does not mean that all Indians work at convenient stores. Nor does it mean that they all smell like curry. Well, actually, that one might be true.
Not every German is a Nazi, in fact, I don't think many people still associate with that party. But c'mon, if I hear some random people speaking in German, I'm going to say that they must be forming a Nazi plan. And then they'll tell me that they are planning a hike or something. It's all in good fun, though. If you ever find yourself in a position thinking "oh, I (he or she) can't say that," then you know what I'm talking about. And what about drivers? Who's worse, old people or Asians? The stuck up assholes devoutly against this type of comedy ironically (I think this is the correct use of the word, but feel free to badger me if I'm incorrect) allow political incorrectness to exist. If no one was so offended by it, or wanted to stop it all together, then I don't see how it would still be hilarious. Also, stereotypes exist for a reason, because they are usually true. There are exceptions, as with most rules, so stereotypes have exceptions, but on a large scale are true. Women and Asians are both not very good drivers. From personal experience I can say that any time I'm driving and I have a "holy shit, what the f**k is that guy doing" reaction, the instigator of that reaction is almost always a woman. No offense intended, but you can get mad at me if you want, I might feel bad momentarily.
I can't get enough of this one
We're all aware that not everyone who wears a turban is a terrorist, and implying so is not funny. Psych! Yes, it is funny. And so is making fun of overwhelming airport security because of the whole terrorist thing. Just check anyone with a turban, right? I really like do enjoy this politically incorrect stuff. For being incorrect, it sure seems like the right answer all the time to me. I remember back in high school when I was meeting new people some of them would ask me if I'm Puerto Rican. I got a big kick out of that. Luckily I tan instead of getting red as a lobster, so when it heats up I sometimes look, well, I guess Puerto Rican. That could also be because a large number of people at my high school were Puerto Rican. I like to think of myself as looking like a mix of Portuguese and Italian, since that is what I am, but mostly Portuguese. People are always asking me what my heritage is because of my skin complexion. I always put on applications and surveys that I'm white, but I might look a tad bit like a minority. I kind of like the confusion, and I love my complexion!
The other side of political incorrectness is just as funny. I'm talking about the people I briefly mentioned before, the ones devoutly against saying these so-called "incorrect" phrases. Do these people know what a joke is? They're probably the same people that are making it illegal to buy certain size fizzy drinks in New York. That will keep the fat away! I can't imagine seriously going to the media and talking about how so-and-so crossed the line when they said something about their suspicions that their black coworker stole their wallet. That same person probably thinks Ahkmed is a terrorist because they overheard him saying "herka durka" on the phone. However, it is entirely necessary that these people continue voicing their opinions so I can laugh at allegedly racist commercials. Of course it is entirely true that there are racist commercials, or they could be poking fun at stereotypes, which as mentioned before, exist because they are usually accurate.
Sometimes I say things that sound offensive, but I'm just kidding... usually. I even used to have a black friend... until my father sold him. If you can't detect the joking nature of that last statement, then I feel sorry for you. I in fact do have black, white, and Asian friends. I might not have a lot in two of those categories, but I do have some. You can accuse me of racism and stereotyping, but I'll say it's because I is black.
I probably shouldn't publish this post because of it's "incorrectness," but where's the fun in that? Besides, most of the people that would be offended by this can't read anyway, right? As I see it, I'm golden. Why stand on a silent platform? Fight the war, f**k the norm. Yes, those are Rage Against the Machine (RATM) lyrics. But I offer Zack de la Rocha my apologies because his people's use is very limited outside of performing yard work and other menial tasks for incredibly low wages. At least in the United States of course. See how I took what I was referencing and made it politically incorrect? If anything, at least we know the Thought Police don't exist, not yet, since I was able to write this whole post and now publish it.
Did I mention I'm thankful to live in a predominantly white neighborhood?
Almost exactly one month ago I applied for a job that I would have really liked to have. The position was for a junior accountant (I was an accounting major if you don't know) at this sweet gym/club place in the city! The place had it all, a gym, personal trainers, exercise rooms/classes, racquetball courts, a spa, a restaurant, and a bar! And it's location was conveniently near a train stop. I managed to get a phone interview for this position which went quite well, or at least I thought it went well. At the end of the conversation I was told that on site interviews would be held the following week and they would call me regarding these interviews. So I was excited about the prospect of having a chance to get a job at a company that focuses on athletics, something I am very much into. I also thought that this would be a great step toward potentially continuing my track career since I would have access to such an excellent facility and maybe even move to a spot closer by to where all the action is.
I was looking forward to the phone call all weekend and waited with great anticipation for my phone to ring while I was at work. Monday passed and nothing happened. Then Tuesday passed and nothing happened. Then Wednesday came and I thought that surely this has to be the day, but still nothing happened. Thursday and Friday passed without any word and I thought that maybe there had been some unforeseen business that week that caused a delay, so maybe they'll get back to me the next week. Well now it's a month later and I still have heard nothing. I probably should have made an effort to get in contact with the company myself, but for some reason that thought didn't cross my mind at the time. The phone interview had gone so well that I really thought they were going to have me come down. Maybe they were just being nice to me and actually deleted all my information right after the interview. If that's the case, then I'd rather they just tell me they're not going to interview me. Or at least tell me that if I don't hear back from them by a certain date that they aren't interested.
Other than that I haven't really found or applied to any jobs that I would really like to have. The false hope from that one particular job was shitty. Since I've graduated, I've applied to 28 jobs and I've heard back from 3, so not much has changed in that department. I get random emails and phone calls every once in a while from recruiters and companies about positions that I don't want. That's right Aflac, stop sending me emails about sales positions, I don't want to do that. I still think there's something wrong with the structure of work and getting a job out of college. So many undeserving pricks get set up with good jobs out of college that in my opinion, they don't deserve. I'm going to stop right there though instead of going on a humongous rant about how much some f**kin people really piss me off.
I've been saying it for years now, either since high school or at the very least since freshman year of college, I want to be in a position where I can make people suck my dick if I want to. I'm finally out of the academic prison that is college, where it is very possible that the curriculum is a cell block (Thanks RATM! And of course Mr. de la Rocha!), and now it's time to do it the real way. Make like Jack Donaghy and work your way to the top.
Also, I would like to point out that I was wrong back in late January/early February. In that post I mentioned that senior year was trending to be the best year of college, but it was not. Far from it, actually. Besides some people I met that I really liked, senior year blew. Before you judge me for being a negative bastard, let me explain myself. I did not enjoy my living situation, actually, that almost sums it up perfectly. I don't mind the people I lived with, but I had very, very little in common with them. So going back to my house was nothing to look forward too. As a result I spent most of the time there unhappy. I was hoping that out of all that shit I would at least get a good job, but that still hasn't happened yet.
You know what I think is an interesting concept? No one needs a college degree to do anything, you only need one because that's the way society has decided to do things. What do you think came first, the doctor or education? The accountant or education? The business man or education? Go ahead and make your own (like the butt doctor and education). Maybe one day you'll have to go to school to learn how to breathe. Outside of all the education, practice, theory, and plain bull shit, I just think there is something more important. Also, who the f**ck are these people to tell me I'm not good enough to do the job? I'm going to think of them as Karim Garcia.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think that I'm better than everyone else, I know I'm better than everyone else. There's a difference. Serious: that statement was sarcastic. Sarcastic: the readers definitely knew that. End Elcor speak here. I think I'll just take this all in stride. Time for positiveness! I'm going to wait for that phone call, it's only been a month, maybe it will come tomorrow! I have far too many gripes with just about everything, but at least they're usually dealing with the same old shit. I'm just not satisfied yet...
First and foremost, I would like to give a big up to Aries Merritt for breaking the world record in the 110 meter high hurdles this past Friday in Brussels! The guy ran a 12.80! Absolutely insane! Not to mention the fastest time in the event ever, in the history of anything. Merritt has garnered massive respek with me (unfortunately the word respek has been removed from the dictionary). A gold medal at the Olympics and a world record, what a way to end the 2012 outdoor season. I hope he continues to get better in the years to come, so exciting to think what he could do next! I want to see the indoor hurdle record fall!
I'm a big supporter of track, partly because of the lack of recognition the sport gets, but mainly because I'm a runner myself and the sport has done a wonderful amount for me in my life. Track has been one of those unexpected surprises in my life. I never thought that I would find success in the sport or that it would have such a large impact on my life. The lack of attention the sport gets is absolutely absurd though, and it bothers the piss out of me sometimes. As I mentioned in my post on Penultimate Round Pick (check out our sports blog here!), Sportscenter put Merritt's world record setting performance number 10 on its top ten plays. Those guy's kiddin'? The fact that they put Merritt's performance number 10 is going to bother me for some time, if not forever, it's just one of those things that pisses me off. I don't like to be a bitter asshole, but sometimes, actually all the time that I'm bitter is the direct result of other people's stupidity or things that I cannot control.
Most of the things that bother and piss me off are the small things. Maybe I shouldn't sweat the small stuff, but I do. However, Merritt's snubbing is not a small matter, the guy broke a world record for Joe's sake! The small stuff I'm referring to for example are things like the backspace button on the our former keyboards at work. Holy shit were those backspace buttons way too small! Whenever I made an error and went to hit the backspace key to remove it from existence I would miss and hit the other keys near it and make an even bigger mistake! Now I would have to hold down the tiny backspace button for even longer to correct my latest, larger f**k up. Thank Joe we got new equipment including keyboards that have proper size backspace keys. Maybe they used to make the backspace key smaller to encourage people to make fewer mistakes. Or so that they could make people suffer for making mistakes, those bastards! They probably killed Kenny, too.
Flies are another thing that are extremely annoying. I'm almost 100% positive that two flies landed on my shoulder that were doing it. They were definitely getting busy, I've never seen a fly on top of another doing scandalous things that I will not mention here. I love all of nature's creatures, that's why I love to kill 'em, but I couldn't this time. I could only merely shew them away. I also wish I could come up with my own funny phrases instead of stealing other people's great work. I do thank you, Monty Python. Now you probably expect me to say that I came to kick ass and chew bubble gum, but in fact I have not, but I do believe that we sleep while they live. Merging is another little thing that bothers me. I have probably already mentioned this about 4 times, but so many people are terrible at merging onto the highway. Some people unnecessarily (I finally spelled that word right on the first try!) slow down when no one is coming, and sometimes even come to a complete stop! Although, I have to admit that getting on the highway from a dead stop is extremely fun! There are many complaints about driving, and even stopping, like how people don't know how to park.
I've actually strayed quite far away from the point that I was going to make, but I'm not surprised, this is where my scattered thoughts have lead me. I did mention my point earlier though. By nature I take life in stride and I'm generally happy and believe it or not, I think that most people are actually this way. But damn are there some things that just piss people off, and usually rightfully so. I'm not going to go into specifics and I'll just end there.
A great thing that's right around the corner is Fifa 13! I don't really play video games much anymore, but I can find some time to play the latest installment or a legendary franchise. Ultimate team is also one of the greatest sports video game innovations ever, too, so I will definitely want to do some of that. The Fifa 13 demo was just released today and I have to say that I liked the tuning they have done from the game play. The game actually made me realize that there is a difference among players, some actually seemed better than others in terms of controlling the ball. I think this will make for more balanced game play and make it less about pure pace. The defensive control was also much better, I could actually steal the ball away from high and low profile opposition!
This is one of my all time favorites! And I have Apple products.
I'm also excited because I was contacted by a former teammate of mine who is still running track now asking how I am doing if I have any plans on continuing my track career. He mentioned joining the club that he belongs to as a potential opportunity. I have mentioned that I don't think I'm quite done yet. I would like to have the chance to compete competitively while I still can and as of right now, I feel great physically! Enough about me, let's speak about you. Oh yeah, no one reads this, so never mind, I'll just continue going on and on about things that maybe two other people will read, three if I'm lucky. I think I lost one of my readers from all my social network bashing, but I'm straying away from that and I'll let her know. I'm going to focus on my take on certain experiences, completely biased views on sports, the occasional rant, and my stupid thoughts. When am I going to finish that post about life and Mario Party? I think I started that on December 5, 2011 or something. I was banging that shit out, but then I had to "study" for finals.
I just asked myself a question in my own blog. I'm going to end there, but I will leave you with this:
