Serving as the low man at work, with little experience, I am handed all the menial, mundane tasks that don't warrant anyone else's time or that no one else wants to do. When performing mindless, or at least mostly mindless, work, I have plenty of time to think. My mind drifts to various different topics, sometimes even amassing to somewhat complete thoughts. I at least try to amuse myself and I've been thinking about how I could be a devious scumbag/little asshole. For the last few days I've felt like Enron's auditor given the number of documents I have shredded. Except that I'm shredding documents to comply with law, which states that documents containing social security numbers cannot simply get placed in the trash, these documents must be shredded. How could a devious scumbag turn this operation in their favor? Well, that's quite easy. If I wanted to be a huge clown and scumbag I could take the social security numbers and sell them to identity thieves! I bet I could actually make a decent amount of money doing that. Of course I would never do that, but it sure makes for an entertaining thought. I would also probably get caught and face multiple life sentences in jail or one 200 year sentence, because either of those are definitely possible to serve to the fullest extent.
Continued efforts to keep from getting bored out of my mind at work also have me thinking of alter egos. If I had an alter ego I would definitely choose the personality of a person who thinks everything is a government conspiracy. I wouldn't act any differently than I do, but I would be suspicious of everything. Dinosaur bones, they were planted beneath the Earth's surface to make people think that dinosaurs once existed. Natural disasters, the government controls those, too, and that's why the Patriots won the Superbowl following the 9/11 (sorry Brady tuck rule, the government was behind the victory) attacks and why the New Orleans Saints won the Superbowl after Hurricane Katrina. The over-hyping of sports is a government conspiracy to give the people a false sense of togetherness within the nation, but also pits fans of different teams against one another to distract them from what's actually going on in the country. The government doesn't help the poor so the middle class continues to work to avoid the same fate. I think it would be funny to have a conspiracy theory for everything that happens in the country and world, someone must be behind everything...
If you haven't noticed by now, or read Chase's latest post, you'll know that most of my posts are incredibly random. This is a result of my extremely fragmented thought process, I think about a lot of different things, but only to a limited extent. In other words, I think about a large variety of things in little depth. So that's why the topic is changing so quickly again, however I am going back to writing about work. I really enjoyed writing about my experiences working at a minimum wage job last summer, if you haven't seen these and have any interest then just click on the "Summer Job Chronicles" tab to the right. Unfortunately I did not cover many great experiences since I did not have this blog until about midway through junior year of college, which gave me only one summer sample size to cover my minimum wage job. One of my favorite parts of that job at the movie theater was all the contact with the general public. The general public always makes me laugh for various different reasons.
One of my favorite interactions with the general public occurred before the existence of this blog during the summer of 2009 I believe, right before I began sophomore year of college. I was working the door, which means I was ripping tickets and telling people where to go. Usually people didn't listen to me and then I would see them walking around the lobby unable to find the correct theater despite the huge numbers on the doors, one of which matched the number on their ticket. But this one guy came in and gave me his ticket. I ripped it and was about to give it back and tell him where to go when he looked at me expressionless and said "this looks like a hard job." I was caught off guard by that, but later realized the hilarity of the statement. I definitely couldn't do whatever that guy did for a living! The best part about it is that is my type of humor exactly, sarcastic remarks. The guy's face and delivery were dead on, like Alec Baldwin's performances as Jack Donaghy, simply flawless. That's what I miss from that job, but I got lucky today when I got to deal with a truck driver who was delivering something to the company.
While we were waiting for the confirmation that the cargo could be delivered, the truck driver started asking me if I drank milk and if I had ever been to an animal farm or something like that. Then he started asking me if I ever thought about how everything we eat gets shit on. He used fish in the sea as an example because they shit in the water they live in. I was having such a good time listening to the guy that I was disappointed when he had to go continue to the next stage of the delivery. But before that he got one last good remark in. He told me he wished he had brought his phone in with him because he had this funny picture. The picture was of a "colored" boy saying to a white adult, "wow, you have so much clean water that you even shit in it."
I really enjoyed speaking with that truck driver, he was a funny dude. I also really enjoy listening to people who have unique things to say and are adamant about they are right. I don't know if everything we eat is really shit on, but it was sure a good time listening to this guy tell me that was true. Annnnd we're going to switch gears again, but you shouldn't be surprised. I finally saw The Dark Knight Rises, and as a huge fan of Batman, he's only my favorite hero of all time, I was surprised by the ending of the film. The ending was not bad by any stretch, but it was quite elaborate in my opinion. I liked the movie, though I still think The Dark Knight was the best of the series, but then again, that movie was simply amazing. The Dark Knight is definitely one of my all time favorite movies. I'll tell you my biggest complaint with The Dark Knight Rises, but I warn you, if you haven't seen it, this could be a SPOILER, so consider yourself warned. So on we go. My biggest complaint was the actress they chose to play Talia Al Ghul. The person they chose does not look like the person that could (here's what might be a spoiler) make that leap of fate in that jail place. Not only that, but she wasn't the sexy, sophisticated symbol I really like from Batman the Animated Series. The only other complaint I have is that Bane didn't have his sweet accent from the Animated Series either. Given those two somewhat minor details are my gripes with the movie, it was good. However, I do see Chase's side as well, at least in one way. I can understand if people think that Christopher Nolan (the director, in case you didn't know) sacrificed some of the Batman lore for the sake of the story that he wanted to tell. I understand if people did not like that Bane was not his traditional jacked up on venom self, but I really wanted the accent.
The Dark Knight Rises was an enjoyable experience to me. One of the best signs of this was that I didn't feel like I had been sitting in the theater for three hours when the movie was over, but I had. Oh yeah, I also got in for free because some of my friends/former coworkers were working! In general, I have to say that since I have started working I've been so much happier. I have things to do during the day, like work, and then on the weekends and some nights I go do things with friends. So far this routine is working out very well and I'm still able to meet my insatiable desire to stay in good physical shape. I don't know if I'm done with you yet, track. I'm going to keep this post short because I should probably go to bed soon, remember that means watch 30 Rock on Netflix, or Arrested Development because that show is great, too. I'll post more crap in the near future, so hope you read and enjoy it! But first, this is the Talia I wanted in the movie. And by one last thing I mean two. Listen to Foster the People's album, it is fantastic and I cannot stop listening to it.
Normally only a few occurrences prevent posting: I'm busy, severe apathy, I don't have anything to bitch about. I think that's an accurate list, and this time I've been busy. Also, only about ten days have gone by since the last post, that is not extremely long, but I've been preoccupied with a job and an excellent weekend. I have acquired a temporary position, in an accounting role, to gain some much needed experience. Each day that passes I pick up a little more responsibility and more independence. All the people at work are nice and I really like that they trust me despite my very short time with the company. However, I'm glad that this position is temporary because it's in a rural area and I would like to work permanently in an area that I wouldn't describe as a wasteland for young adults. I do like the area of the state where I've spent the last twelve years (wow, it has really been that long, that's the longest I have lived anywhere ever!) of my life, but I don't think it is a place to go through the prime of a young adult's life. Ideally I would like to work in or around a city and get an apartment or something with friends. That way we could work during the day and go do things and meet people at night and on weekends. Over the past three summers I have noticed the great decline in things to do in my hometown, honestly it's a boring place for people in their twenties. Recently I've been contemplating the future quite often given the events that have taken place in my life just in the past couple months. Most of these thoughts dwell on a career because that is the next step in defining my life, at least I think it is at least.
While I don't know exactly what I want to do with my career at this point, I do know how I would like to carry it out. My interest in people extends beyond individuals' idiosyncrasies, stretching to how certain groups of people act. In this case I'm looking at the world of business pertaining to my career. I realize at this point I have to start at the bottom and work my way up because I'm not a genius and I won't have any power simply handed to me. I'm at the beginning, but one day I would like a position of power. I just think it would be amazing to conduct business like Jack Donaghy, the Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming for General Electric on the fantastic television show 30 Rock. The following video sums up why I would absolutely enjoy the stature of a Jack Donaghy position.
Spoken like a true elitist businessman. I enjoy the modern portrayal of bosses in media because I think these portrayals are more accurate than most people would believe. I commend Tina Fey for creating the masterpiece that is 30 Rock, but there must have been some inspiration for the Donaghy character, and the rest of the characters on the show. Donaghy is the boss man who is all about business, who will do anything to succeed and has his sights set on the CEO position. I think aspiring business professionals can learn a lot from him, so take note.
If you haven't seen 30 Rock, then I recommend giving it a view, preferably from the beginning since the show has good continuity and builds well off the characters if you watch it in order. I just absolutely enjoy the what I will refer to as the "Jack Donaghy Approach." He's in charge, he knows it, and he gets things to work while utilizing unconventional measures. Just a side note, I think anyone making a movie with business people in it should cast Alec Baldwin as the main business man because he is superb at that role. There is no one better. Anther great portrayal of a boss in entertainment is Less Grossman in Tropic Thunder, one of my favorite movies, pure comedic genius. I don't understand why so many people say Ben Stiller's movies are terrible. Zoolander and Tropic Thunder, both Ben Stiller films, are two of my favorite movies and Meet the Parents is damn good, too. I couldn't stop laughing when I saw Tropic Thunder in the theater with my friends, probably the best movie going experience of my life. The summer of 2008 was such a good summer for moives with Tropic Thunder, The Dark Knight, and WALL-E. If you haven't seen WALL-E, then go see it now!
Back to my point, though. Less Grossman, played by Tom Cruise, in Tropic Thunder is another boss man that people in charge should aspire to. He's such a dick, but he does his job with authority and power. And trust me, a nutless monkey could not do his job. While I will probably never be a Less Grossman, maybe even for the better, or a Jack Donaghy, I'm still young so why not aspire to obtain a powerful position. But seriously, I think people can learn a lot from watching business unfold on the television through 30 Rock and in motion pictures such as Tropic Thunder. While both are comedies, the majority of what I watch, there is truth in them.
Besides attaining boss-level status, there are some jobs that would be great to have. A really cool job would be working for the CIA. The appeal of working for the CIA, or any secretive intelligence agency, is the secret nature of the work. I wouldn't have to talk to people about my job because that could jeopardize everything! The even better part is that no one would really know what I do, so I would always have this secret aura about me, no one would really know what I am up to. They should also make a new position that eliminates bad drivers, I think I would be good at that one. All you would need is James Bond's car, one with lots and lots of fire power. Then when you see a bad driver, you eliminate them. The subjectivity involved really appeals to me. Unfortunately this job will never exist because it would disturb many people...
So, yeah, this is the beginning of my career. My career isn't much of anything now, but I'll make an attempt to document my path on this blog. I haven't thought about how long I'll keep this blog going and I'm not going to think about that now. I'll blog until I don't want to anymore. Keep it nice and simple. I'm very happy with the development of the summer. Unfortunately the summer started very lame and disappointing, with the exception of the family vacation we took out west to see my sister and her boyfriend. Other than that I was unhappy for a few different reasons and I felt useless with no job and the lack of anything to do. I miss the days when people would actually do things. I'm still waiting to responses to texts from a month ago and I find it very challenging to get anyone to do anything. However, I have a job now and this past weekend was great!
I spent practically the whole weekend with some friends; Chase and I had a good race, too! We'll have to do that again when we're both in running attire, but I hope he enjoyed his head start! And while I'm writing about Chase, I still want a copy of that limerick I wrote for Quelf, buddy. Chase, one other friend, and I managed to get ourselves involved in a pickup soccer game with Hispanics on Sunday to cap off a wonderful weekend where I scored the first goal, assisted by Chase! There's something about soccer that captivates me. I don't regret my decision to not play soccer in high school, thus ending my soccer career, because I just didn't want to at the time. I lost my enjoyment for the game until I went to college and met Seanahue, who rekindled my strong liking for the sport. I've played intramural soccer and some random pickup games, but I've yet to explore my full potential in the sport. I've always been involved in the sport for fun, so I've never tried giving it my absolute all. I hope to have the chance to do that someday, just to see if any good at the game I enjoy so much.
One thing I really like about soccer is the unpredictability involved in the sport. You can do what you like with and without the ball, allowing each player to have a certain freestyle to their game. No one plays soccer the same as anyone else. That's one thing I dislike about track, the sport I'm involved in. Once the gun goes off you attempt to get to the finish line before everyone else. I'm fine with that, track is a great sport, but there's no unpredictability there. Everyone knows what you are going to do, or try to do, it doesn't always work out, cue my last high hurdle race in college. Whereas in soccer you can use your body to fake out opponents and hone your dribbling skills to avoid losing the ball. I just like unpredictability, it gives players the chance to use creativity to beat opponents (watch videos of Ronaldinho at Barcelona to see what I mean). Or you could be like Il Fenomeno and haul ass at opponents daring them to stop you. I just love the way he played.
Now that I've completely changed directions, I will digress. I'm extremely tired right now, I felt like going to sleep at the desk at work this morning. So I'm going to go to bed, and by that I mean watch 30 Rock on Netflix. Going to bed and watching Netflix are synonymous. Now there's just one more thing to settle in my life.... besides finding a sweet job that is. One last thing before I sign off: don't ever bad mouth synergy.
Reading Chase's Interactions with People post made me remember how much I didn't like him when I first met him, but not really. Having known him for the past five and a half years or so, I enjoyed reading about some of his awkward interactions, after all, awkwardness makes for some good stories. What I really found entertaining was the mention of his former place of employment, Market Basket (The MB). When I was looking for a summer job a few years ago, the MB was the place that all my friends told me to avoid at all costs. So I did and it worked out well for me because the MB is a silly place. I was in the MB with JQ and Clydesdale Johannis (another good friend of mine who is currently employed by the MB, though he was not working at this particular instance) at the beginning of the summer. We went in to purchase a gallon of water at the tantalizing low MB price of one half dollar, or fifty cents, or $0.50. Still in the aisle, JQ and Clydesdale began tossing the gallon of water back and forth. I stood and watched. Clydesdale dropped one of the return tosses and the container hit the floor and broke open, thus getting the gallon of water all over the aisle. Some random kid was walking by the aisle when it happened and assured us he would get help, but the way he said it you would think a somewhat severe emergency need taking care of.
We weren't about to wait for that random kid, so we summoned a nearby MB employee who told us he would take care of the spill. So we walked back down the aisle and picked up another gallon of water to replace the now broken and empty one. What happened next I thought, and still think, was very funny. The MB employee who told us he would take care of the incident came to the aisle with a mop and bucket. He proceeded to clean up the water spill with more water. Maybe it's just me, but isn't that exacerbating the problem? There's a water spill on the floor, so let's put more water there and increase the slipping hazard! He probably put one of those "piso mojado" signs in the aisle afterward, too, but I didn't think to check. Couldn't they have just put one of those signs there in the first place? But that's the MB, I'm glad I took the advice all those years ago.
Mention of the MB just reminded me of the wet floor debacle. Chase's post focused on the awkward interactions he has had with various people and I'm going to play off of that idea. I'm not going to take his idea and reflect on my awkward situations, rather I will discuss my ability to keep a straight face. Generally I can keep a straight face even if I'm saying something that is either completely untrue or partially untrue. If you know me too well then I probably won't be able to get away with it, but I like to have a little fun sometimes. To present my point I will take you back to the summer between freshman and sophomore year of college, one of my all time favorite summers! At this point my whole direct family, with the exception of me, were living in California. My friends knew this, but only the friends I hung out with and talked to all the time knew my living situation for the summer. One day we went down to a local field to have some sporting fun. One of my friends, I'll call him Jimbo, was there. Jimbo was a friend of mine, but I only saw/spoke with him on occasion. He asked me where I was living for the summer. I guess I was in the mood to have a little fun so I lied about it. Now here's the key, I told him something absolutely unbelievable, that I was living in a cardboard box. Now obviously that's not true. So I shook it off and told him smoothly that I was just kidding, I'm living in my car. He just looked at me, I don't remember exactly what he said, but the whole situation greatly amused me. I don't know if he really believed me, but eventually I told him that I was living at my grandma's house for the summer. I actually lived there for that summer and the majority of the next, what an experience that was. Maybe another potential blogging topic, but who knows. I should have seen how long I could keep the "I'm living in my car" joke going. I call it a joke, but I guess some people would call it a lie.
Actually, when I come to think of it, I probably pulled off an even better one senior year of high school when I told two of my friends that I was gay. I already recounted that story on our largely unsuccessful conjoined friend blog, Retentive Gibberish (I didn't think I would ever mention that again), but feel free to read the story by clicking here. The short version goes like this. Senior year of high school I had gym class with two friends, Chase was one of them, and the rest of the class was vastly Puerto Ricans. So the three of us usually had sweet conversations during class. One gym class we were talking about girlfriends, actually it was mainly the other two, I was mostly listening at the time. Then they asked me if I had ever had a girlfriend to which I replied, "Nah, I'm pretty gay." The presentation was flawless, Chase can back me up on this, too. I let it sink in for a few moments before I laughed and told them I was just kidding. I really should see what happens if I carry out something like this, see how far I can go with it. I'll have to get presented with the right opportunity, but maybe one day. Sometimes when I tell people the truth, but the answer wasn't what they expected, they aren't sure if I'm joking or not. I've had extensive experience with those types of situations.
This should have been my next play
I even got to put my straight-facing skill to use in school! Sophomore year of college my marketing group and I were making a commercial for a project we were doing on AT&T. For some reason when we wrote the script for it we decided to make it one huge sexual innuendo. I have no idea why we stuck with that idea either. I cannot recall exactly the content of the commercial, but there we had two roles, one was an AT&T person, or at least someone who was an AT&T customer who was recommending signing up with AT&T. The other was the person who had the issue, which was related to phones in some way, but we made it seem like this guy had erectile dysfunction. I was nominated to play the latter role because the group thought I could keep a straight face saying the lines. So I accepted and we made that commercial. I really wish I had a copy of it for viewing pleasure. I still remember when we showed the commercial in class, the class and the professor definitely recognized what we did there, and the professor was smirking. What a great year sophomore year was.
Going back to Retentive Gibberish to find the post I wrote about a great day in gym class back in high school made me curious. I haven't looked at Retentive Gibberish since last December when I finished the article about getting to know me, Toninho, better. That was an excellent post idea, all credit given to Chase who had the idea and penned the questions for me to answer. I went on to peruse Retentive Gibberish since it has been months and I came across Chase's article about his name. Now it's my turn, why I use the name Toninho on blogger. My name is Anthony and I've typically gone by this name throughout the course of my life. When I was a little guy growing up I still went by Anthony because of my dad. My father's name is Antonio, so he was always Tony. Two Tonys in the same house all the time could cause some confusion (Is your name not Tony? That's going to cause some confusion). But as I have gotten older I have come to know people from different activities, situations, etc. I find it interesting and amusing that you can probably accurately guess how people know me just by the name they use for me.
I almost always introduce myself as Anthony, but not everyone calls me that. The people that call me Anthony are people I know from the collegiate track team I was on, coworkers, and adults for the most part. High school was when some of my closer friends started calling me Tony, which I have no problem with. Junior year of high school, my English teacher (another of my favorite teachers of all time), gave me the nickname A-Train. He came up with the name because he didn't like the nickname of T-Bone that one of my other friends in the class gave to me. Only an exclusive group of people refer to me as the A-Train, including the man who came up with it and a very small group of other people. Or you could be like Chase and call me the Gay-Train. I liked making the horrible joke that the nickname A-Train made sense because I was on track (get it, on the track team!).
Through the high school track team, our upper class teammates began calling me by my last name. This stuck and to this day people who I ran track with in high school, or that I met through people I knew on the track team, call me by my last name. I distinctly remember one day at work a few years ago when one of my former teammates came in and called me by my last name. After they continued on with their business my coworker looked at me and said "what did they just call you?" So if someone calls me by my last name, you would probably be right if you guessed that I ran track with them in high school. Most of my friends from college, except for my track team friends, call me Tony. So depending on where I am and/or who I'm with I get called Anthony, Tony, or A-Train. I have gotten accustomed to responding to all three. I think it's kind of funny that you can usually accurately tell how I know someone just by the name they use for me.
I chose the name Toninho as an alias for this blog mainly thanks to Seanahue. When Seanahue was signing our intramural soccer team up Sophomore year of college, he entered my name on the roster as Tondinho. My favorite soccer player of all time is Ronaldo, formerly known as Ronaldinho (before the Ronaldinho that played for Barcelona in the mid 2000s), which stands for little Ronaldo because he was very young when he was coming up the ranks in soccer. I took out the "d" since there is no "d" in Tony like there is in Ronaldo, but I did like the name and it also makes sense for me. I'm technically "Little Tony" and I really like Brazilian soccer players. So intramural soccer and Seanahue deserve the credit for the name Toninho. Maybe people will start calling me that, making four different names for me. Only time will tell.
Since Retentive Gibberish has, for the most part, died (it's mostly dead, I got the diagnosis), there's one more thing I'm going to share from that blog: my two rules of success.
I attribute my current situation, everything about it, to a general lack of direction. What do I want to do? Well, honestly I have no idea. I don't understand how anyone knows what they want to do with their life specifically. When I think about a career I really don't care what industry or field it's in, I just want to have a job that keeps me happy. I wrote about my dream job (one of my favorite posts!), which is not a feasible position, but that is precisely why I don't know what I want to do. From my perspective, unless you are a professional athlete, I don't see how you can have a job you truly love (for lack of a better word). I still maintain that professional soccer is the best job. Since I have no idea what I want to do, I'm going to look for some temporary work in the accounting field, even though I really did not enjoy accounting in class, in hopes that actual accounting work is bearable. Temporary work will provide me with some freedom because I'm not locked into anything from the beginning, an idea I thoroughly enjoy.
A career isn't the only thing I lack direction in, practically my whole life is one mystery. I usually don't know what I'm going to do each day and make impromptu plans (and apply to random jobs) spur of the moment. Mainly these plans revolve around the same three or four people since most of my friends are really busy now, but it sure beats sitting around alone all the time. Life after college sure is strange. My sister already went through all this when she graduated from college two years ago, but I can't really use her as a template on what to do because her situation is drastically different from mine. She worked for a while at the local public library and then moved out to the Washington state with her boyfriend over a year ago now when he got a really sweet job. That's a unique situation that I will not be following, but I would like to get a sweet job at some point! So I don't have a job because of lack of direction because I only went to a business school and studied accounting on the simple thought process that this course of action would lead me to a well paying job. The trouble is that I didn't really embrace the subject matter. Spring semester my freshman year of college I got a 3.6 GPA, and it was practically downhill from there, especially when junior year hit and I disliked all the important accounting classes that made up the major. I still managed to finish above a 3.0 though (but I'm slightly stupid)! My indecisiveness has left me unsure for a while if I made the correct decision, I even spoke to my parents about changing my major during junior year. However, I decided to take it up the ass and stick it out as an accounting major which brings me to where I am today, looking for temporary jobs because I still don't know what I want. I also realize that I have continued to expand on my career (or lack there of one) when I opened this paragraph writing that "a career isn't the only thing I lack direction in..." Feel free to complain if you would like, the unused comments space is not reserved exclusively for the only two people who have ever commented on any of my posts.
Have I ever mentioned that I really like blogging? I think beginning this blog was one of the best things I've done in my life, and that's saying a lot considering how much I've done to this point including graduating high school, holding a minimum wage job, and beating Halo: Combat Evolved on Legendary with JQ. Life has two very important aspects, a job/career is one (which I just discussed), and a relationship is another. These two aspects, in my estimation as usual, are what make a person's life, why they enjoy or cannot stand life. Lack of direction is also a lead contributor to why I have not yet had a girlfriend. In many ways for the same reasons I have had such slow progress developing a career path, but different. I don't have a checklist for the requirements of the person I want to date nor do I go looking for a significant other. I'm waiting for the right person to show up in my life, but the problem remains that I don't know what I want. What I do know is that smoking, of any kind, is a huge turnoff as well as excessive drinking, it's not my thing. Actually, very recently I had a nice conversation with JQ, my longest standing friend, on the drive back from Cape Cod. Somehow we got on the topic of girlfriends, neither of us currently having one. JQ had a girlfriend for a while that ended about a year ago. I remember the two of them coming to watch me compete at a track meet Junior year when we were running at their school. Anyways, we had gone to a bar the night before with another friend and one of his friends. JQ and I left the bar before them after threw up on myself and some huge guy. When we left we simply walked up and down some of the streets talking about random stuff and listening to these two guys tell us not to go into a bar down the street because it was a "queer bar" while he continually shouted back at the people in the bar that they were all "fa**ots." So on the ride home we were talking about the bar and how neither of us were really the bar scene type. I added that I would not want to meet my girlfriend in a bar to which JQ agreed with me. Why, you might ask. Well, I'm not a bar going type as I mentioned, but chances are if you meet someone in a bar they probably do that type of stuff often which isn't a good fit for me and then there is also the chance that two people that meet in a bar might only like each other when they are drinking.
One of my other very good friends, Seanahue (hope he enjoys that one! But I didn't come up with that name), and I have also discussed a similar topic many times before. I've known Seanahue since freshman year of college and even got to live with him and some other really great people for a year! We used to speak about how we didn't want to meet someone (a potential girlfriend if you are having trouble following) at a party. I don't mind if I meet someone in class or an activity who then goes to a party, but I don't have the inclination to meet a girl via party. I like to get to know people, and I don't think parties are the place for that. Of course it's nice to see what people are like in that situation, but there's so much more to a person than who they are when they're drunk. I prefer getting to know someone by having conversations with them personally in a one-on-one situation or in small groups. This probably has something to do with my fascination of how people act, but I really like having one-on-one conversations. Also, if you can't have conversations one-on-one with someone that you enjoy, then there's no way in hell you should date them either. But getting back to the point I was making, I don't have any sense of direction for a girlfriend either. As I said before, I don't go looking for one, rather I believe that it will happen naturally. However, not knowing what I want has led me to taking far too long to begin exploring the possibilities of having a relationship twice now.
Maybe this is the direction I need
I have gained valuable knowledge from each of these experiences, and honestly, I just wasn't ready for a girlfriend at the right moments. In other words, those moments weren't the right moments for me. I don't have a checklist for a potential girlfriend, but I definitely have turnoffs. I mentioned smoking of any kind as one of those because it's not good for you and it smells really bad. I also don't like the smoking of marijuana, not because it's illegal, but because I don't see why anyone would want to get high. But I also don't understand why people like to get drunk, so I'm probably just weird. I think I'll make a post about turnoffs, and maybe turnons, in the future. That actually sounds like fun to me! More studying of peoples' habits! I've also been watching these sweet videos on YouTube for the past few weeks of this guy who does real life social experiments! I really enjoy them and I think you should check them out, too. You can see them in the video below and there are new videos every Monday. See what I did here? I'm helping promote someone's videos on a blog that barely anyone reads, obviously I'm helping out.
While I don't know what direction I'm going, I like what J.R.R. Tolkien had to say: "Not all who wander are lost." Speaking of having no direction, I originally planned for this post to segue into Batman because of how incredibly brilliant he is, but that's not going to happen now. I'll save that for another post, but The Dark Knight Rises is coming out in theaters soon and I'm pumped for that! Batman is my favorite superhero dating back to my childhood when I would randomly dress up as the caped crusader on any given day. Maybe it sounds strange, but I'm happy to have this situation upon me, I don't feel like I'm tied into anything in particular. My options are wide open. I mentioned that I really like blogging, but in case you didn't get that part, I really like blogging. I also like randomness, to a certain extent that is, which is why I occasionally jump around to different topics. But I do like blogging if you haven't figured that out yet. Now that Sycophantic Laughter has existed for over a year I have found that one of my favorite things to do with the blog when I'm not actually writing for it is checking the traffic sources. I like viewing where the hits come from. Most of the hits come from the pictures I post on the blog, meaning that barely anyone actually reads anything on it, or at least I highly doubt they do. So the 6,000 something hits indicated on the blog page right now are extremely misleading in terms of how many people read my dumb crap. However, I really do like looking at the traffic sources to see where hits are coming from and what keywords are bringing up my blog in Google searches and the like. This week when I checked the traffic sources I noticed that I had some hits from Stumbleupon and I think that's great. I think it would be funny if some people randomly stumbled upon this blog and took the time to actually read any of its content, even if they absolutely hated it.
Going back to the career thing, and thoughts of my dream job, I have no idea where I'll be in as little as five years. I enjoy leading an active lifestyle, but most "professional" jobs are almost entirely sedentary. I like to express my own thoughts, ideas, and opinions via blogging, but most jobs don't allow you to express your individuality. Maybe George Carlin was right, maybe it is called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it, but at least a job isn't what completely and absolutely defines a person. That's an issue I have with the way things are in society right now. When you first meet someone, often in the introductions you and the person you're meeting introduce themselves with their name and then tell you what they do for work. What bothers me is that people tend to let their job define them. This is so-and-so, they're an _______________ (accountant, student, flight attendant, police person, musician, fashion guru, baseball player, asshole, movie star, custodian, high school teacher, landscaper, etc.). I was recently speaking with a recruiter and he asked me to tell him some things about myself that would not appear on my resume. I've been to a bunch of interviews over the past year or so and he's the first, and only person, to ask me anything like that. I ended up really enjoying that interview far more than any of the others I have had. I commend him for asking me that because there is so much more to people than what looks good on a resume. I just don't think people should define themselves by their jobs or careers, but rather by what interests them. Jobs and careers might contain some of a person's interests, but I don't believe that 100% of anyone's interests lies within the constraints of their job.
I should have worked more, it's the only thing I'm good at
Of course eventually I would like to have a successful career, but I want to achieve success in so many other areas, too. I still hold that Huxley's Brave New World is the most powerful book that I have ever read and I have no idea why I don't own it yet. I really do think that people are raised to love their servitude for the country and I thank Mr. Huxley for that idea. I strongly recommend reading Brave New World, that book would be way ahead of its time if it had been published today. I want to enjoy myself by doing the things that make me happy and surrounding myself with people I like. I could care less what my title is in the "professional world," I just want the ability to live comfortably while I have a good time.
That's all I have for right now. I really enjoyed putting this post together, hopefully it is serving as a harbinger of a string of good posts. I'm not quite sure what's in the queue for upcoming posts, but there will probably be something about Batman (the greatest superhero ever) and who knows what. Joe bless you.
In a recent post, maybe even the last one, I commented on how I haven't gone on a rant in a long time. Well, I'm not necessarily going to rant and rave like I have about how dumb social networks are, but I am going to take a look at some things that bother me to various extents. I'll start with a letter I received from the college I just graduated from. A week or so ago I received this letter and immediately opened it because I was interested to see what they could possibly send me now. The letter was a damage report for the townhouse I lived in the past year. While I didn't have any damage to pay for in my personal room, there was a charge to everyone in the house for a missing end table. I'm also very certain that the amount of money charged to each person for this end table would total to a value of much more than the end table could possibly be worth, but that's not the part that really annoys me. I don't mind paying for something that we somehow lost, or had stolen (how the hell do you lose and end table?), because it is property that we do not own and we should be liable for it. What bothers me is that the school, and it's not only this school, it's all of them, doesn't hold itself to the same standards. When class is canceled the students, or whoever is financing the education, does not get back the money invested in that particular class. That's wrong, if a service is not provided, then it should not be paid for. I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to figure out the cost of each class based on the tuition paid.
I do understand that it might not directly be the college's fault that class did not take place, the professor is usually the reason a class is canceled, but I didn't lose the end table either. I have no idea what happened to the end table, but I do know that the sliding door in the back of our townhouse did not lock and it took facilities weeks to come fix it after we filed a request. Students are liable for the items in their dorms and the school is liable for providing an education. Canceled class should be reimbursed, there's no way around it.
When I come to think about it, most of the things that annoy me deal with how people act and money, sometimes both fit together nicely for a deluxe annoying package. I was at a bar the other night with some friends when one of the bartenders told us that no one was going to serve us because of the tips we were leaving. Yes, we probably were leaving shitty tips, but what the hell do you want me to do, I'm a recent college graduate that doesn't have much money. She told us that the bartenders only get paid $2 per hour so they need tips. Now there's the problem, the part that annoys me. How is it legal to pay people $2 per hour? To understand my point, I think tips are bullshit. Not because I don't think people who have jobs that are reliant on tips shouldn't get paid, but because I don't think is a fair method of payment. I'm aware that in some places in the world receiving a tip is considered an insult. I think these places have the right idea. Employees' pay should be the responsibility of the employer, not the customers. I think it's bullshit that employers can pay employees ridiculous wages such as $2 per hour. Again, I don't understand how that is legal! They made some bullshit law about how that's ok if the employees are allowed to receive tips. That's just wrong. As I see it, that's just another stupid law that allows the company to make more money at the expense of the people who keep that same company in business. It's bullshit!
Speaking of stupid laws, what about the liquor store industry? I don't understand why some states protect liquor stores. I like the states where you can by alcoholic beverages in the supermarket. The ability to buy alcoholic beverages in the supermarket allows for one hell of a great convenience. But there are still states that prohibit grocers from carrying alcohol. What I don't understand is why liquor stores should get this type of protection. Who cares if they go out of business, that's how business works. I don't see any laws getting instated to protect Blockbuster from Netflix and Redbox, and there shouldn't be. It's bullshit that liquor stores get protection, that takes away competition. And I agree with Steven Wright, it bothers me that there's only one company that makes the game Monopoly.
I guess since I've been using bars and liquor stores for examples, I'll go on to the subject of alcohol straight up. Alcohol bothers me because it's a legal drug you don't need a prescription for, you just have to be a certain age to purchase it. I'm not a huge fan of alcohol because of what it does to people, but I think a legal drinking age is bullshit. I don't think there should even be a drinking age. If alcohol is not deemed illegal, then anyone, regardless of age, should be entitled to consume it. Let's not pretend that people don't drink before the decided upon legal age either. If someone doesn't drink alcohol before the legal age, I think it's very unlikely that they will just pick up the habit when they reach that magical age. Basically, the legal age is stupid because practically everyone is going to drink before it is deemed legal. I don't like those bullshit arguments like "if you can die for your country at 18, then you should be able to drink at 18, too." That's just stupid because they are two completely unrelated things. You can get your drivers license when you turn 16, do you want them to be able to draft you into the army at 16, too? It's the same type of stupid comparison.
When I come to think about it, it's not really alcohol that bothers me. What bothers me is how people use alcohol and that there is an agreed upon age when it is all of a sudden ok to consume alcoholic beverages. I think what the law is going for is to prevent people from drinking until they are mature, which is a great idea in theory, but it doesn't work. Drinking in excess, which is an activity for people above and below the drinking age, is already an act of immaturity in itself and brings a person to do immature things. So anyone should be able to purchase and consume alcohol whenever they like. There are already a bunch of alcohol related deaths, but those people are only doing the world a favor by eliminating themselves from the gene pool. Maybe not as many people believe in the survival of the fittest anymore, but there are way too many dumb people, we could afford to lose a few...million of them.
When I started penning this post, I did not intend for it to go in this direction, but I've found myself on the topic of drugs, so I'm going to go with it because drugs do bother me. So on we go. I've never consumed enough alcohol in one short period to get drunk. I'm not interested in doing this because it doesn't sound appealing to me. Anything that is described as getting shit faced, obliterated, getting f**ked up, plastered, or hammered sounds like something I don't want to do. Sometimes you throw up, don't remember what happened, can't walk straight, can't stand up, and do things you regret, like contracting an STD. Again, more things that don't interest me. I don't understand the fascination with achieving this state. I'm also aware that it's really bad for your liver because you're actually poisoning yourself. Tolerance for alcohol is not a good thing, it means that your body is getting accustomed to getting poisoned. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not against alcohol. I have alcohol on occasion, I just don't understand why people drink in excess. I think it does more hurt to a person than good. Alcohol also tends to lead to things that people regret. Regret sucks and is another reason to take it easy on the drinks. I only have a few regrets in my life, but at least none of them have a thing to do with alcohol.
About a couple of months ago I began a post titled "The Implications of Being Me," where I was going to touch on the subject of alcohol and other thoughts I have about life and how I lead mine. I'm not sure if I'll ever actually post that, but the previous passages are a little insight into what that post would have been like, but I'll continue now with one of the topics that bothers me most: social networking. I've decided that I will include some social networking annoyances here. Technology is great and I think it really has advanced the world for the better, but there is one part I strongly dislike, social media's presence on smart phones. Of course it's a great idea to allow people to access social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter from their phone, but holy shit is it annoying. Social media annoyed me when Myspace was popular which is why I terminated my account after about two years, and that was before you could access social networks from the phone.
I've had a Twitter account since sophomore year of college. Initially I created one as a joke during the summer after freshman year just to see what Twitter was. I found that it was actually a really great source of information so I made one under my actual name for myself. I still have this account, but continue to use it mainly as a source of information. I do follow some friends and some friends follow me, but I don't really use it as a communication tool. I use it to get updated information on things I'm interested in. I barely ever tweet on my personal account. I tweet much more often on the account I've setup for this blog because the blog is a place for my thoughts and whatever I feel like doing with it. I still have a Facebook account somehow, too. I rarely ever access it from my computer anymore because honestly I don't care. I do have the app for Facebook on my phone which I check every once in a while to see if anyone has summoned me to communicate with them, which is very infrequently due to my lack of use of Facebook. So there you have it, I have just laid out for you how I use social networks. I'm not a very active participant and will very likely deactivate my Facebook sometime in the future as it serves almost no purpose. The only reason I keep my Facebook around is for the off chance that someone I have known in some capacity needs to get in touch with me. That's about it.
With the introduction of smartphones and apps, people have access to their social networks everywhere. This is a nightmare. I get annoyed with the constant updates about where people are, what they're doing, and the general need for attention. I'm going to keep it that plain and simple... for now at least. I could go off on a huge tangent, but I have kind of already done that in this post, which is about how status updates are dumb, but that's mainly what smartphones are used for, so I think it's about the same thing. Another thing that annoys me about social networking that I think (to the best of my knowledge)is specific to Facebook is how people are starting to change their names. Sometimes when I'm actually logged into Facebook I'll see someone in my friends list and I'll think "who the hell is that?" Then I click on their profile and realize who they are, noticing that they just changed their name. Usually it's their last name, they'll change it to their middle name or something. I just look at it and think, really? What is on there that you have to change your name? And I'm sure that there are people clever enough to figure out that the profile still belongs to you if they really need to know.
I don't want to spend too much time complaining about social networks, that's old material for me. To put it simply, I think social networks are overused. I want to discuss speech now. Language is an absolutely wonderful tool, but there are a few things that rustle my jimmies when people speak. I'll begin with the use of the word "mad." I don't like when "mad" is used in this sense: "that food was mad good." The word mad means mentally disturbed; deranged; insane; demented. The secondary meanings of mad mean enraged or greatly provoked or irritated; abnormally furious or affected with rabies; extremely foolish or unwise; or wildly excited or confused. So saying "I'm mad bored" or "the food was mad good" or "I'm mad tired" makes no sense. I also don't like the overuse of possessiveness. For example if someone says "I'm going to take my shower" or "you can watch your movie." I think it should be "I'm going to take a shower" and "you can watch the movie." I think I still do this when I speak, but believe me I beat myself each time I do, but not really. For some reason it just mildly bothers me. It's one of those things where if I'm in a lousy mood it will really bother me for some unknown reason.
Using a foreign language for isolated words is at the top of my list of annoying speech. It drives me crazy, at least most of the time it does, when people say something like "I'm going to the bano." Just say "I'm going to the bathroom." Then they'll come back from the bano (I don't know how to make the accent marks, but there is supposed to be one over the "n" in both banos) and say "where's my lapiz?" You mean your pencil? I took it and I'm going to shove it up your culo (vulgar way of saying ass in Spanish) if you don't stop saying sentences all in English with one Spanish word!
Actually, I've been contemplating for a little while to start responding to any text-based message in Elcor speak. Basically Elcor's cannot express emotion through speech so they begin every sentence by clarifying if it should be received as excitement, anger, sarcasm, etc. I think that would be a nice way to avoid the annoying "lol" and "haha" in text driven conversations. So if someone makes a funny comment on my wall or photo, I would respond with something like "laughing: yeah man, that's pretty funny." Or if someone invites me to an event or something I would respond "sarcastic: yeah, sign me up."
So I might do that, but who knows. I thought I just lost this whole post for a split second, so I had mini aneurysm, but not really. But I really did think that I lost the post momentarily. Well, this has been fun and all, and sometimes boring, but it's been real and maybe you agree with me on some of these thoughts, but if not, then... I don't really know what, but at the least hopefully you found some marginal entertainment. I'm still waiting for some random person (can't start with unrealistic goals) to stumble on this blog and maybe even read a word or two. But it's been over a year and to the best of my knowledge that has not happened. You also have a small guide on how to mildly annoy me, so go ahead and have fun with that. I'll definitely think of more things that annoy me and add to this very limited list. Good thing these things bother me or else I wouldn't have anything to say. Thanks for reading, and make Jose "The Special One" Mourinho proud and be champions.
