Working Thoughts

Serving as the low man at work, with little experience, I am handed all the menial, mundane tasks that don't warrant anyone else's time or that no one else wants to do. When performing mindless, or at least mostly mindless, work, I have plenty of time to think. My mind drifts to various different topics, sometimes even amassing to somewhat complete thoughts. I at least try to amuse myself and I've been thinking about how I could be a devious scumbag/little asshole. For the last few days I've felt like Enron's auditor given the number of documents I have shredded. Except that I'm shredding documents to comply with law, which states that documents containing social security numbers cannot simply get placed in the trash, these documents must be shredded. How could a devious scumbag turn this operation in their favor? Well, that's quite easy. If I wanted to be a huge clown and scumbag I could take the social security numbers and sell them to identity thieves! I bet I could actually make a decent amount of money doing that. Of course I would never do that, but it sure makes for an entertaining thought. I would also probably get caught and face multiple life sentences in jail or one 200 year sentence, because either of those are definitely possible to serve to the fullest extent.

Continued efforts to keep from getting bored out of my mind at work also have me thinking of alter egos. If I had an alter ego I would definitely choose the personality of a person who thinks everything is a government conspiracy. I wouldn't act any differently than I do, but I would be suspicious of everything. Dinosaur bones, they were planted beneath the Earth's surface to make people think that dinosaurs once existed. Natural disasters, the government controls those, too, and that's why the Patriots won the Superbowl following the 9/11 (sorry Brady tuck rule, the government was behind the victory) attacks and why the New Orleans Saints won the Superbowl after Hurricane Katrina. The over-hyping of sports is a government conspiracy to give the people a false sense of togetherness within the nation, but also pits fans of different teams against one another to distract them from what's actually going on in the country. The government doesn't help the poor so the middle class continues to work to avoid the same fate. I think it would be funny to have a conspiracy theory for everything that happens in the country and world, someone must be behind everything...

If you haven't noticed by now, or read Chase's latest post, you'll know that most of my posts are incredibly random. This is a result of my extremely fragmented thought process, I think about a lot of different things, but only to a limited extent. In other words, I think about a large variety of things in little depth. So that's why the topic is changing so quickly again, however I am going back to writing about work. I really enjoyed writing about my experiences working at a minimum wage job last summer, if you haven't seen these and have any interest then just click on the "Summer Job Chronicles" tab to the right. Unfortunately I did not cover many great experiences since I did not have this blog until about midway through junior year of college, which gave me only one summer sample size to cover my minimum wage job. One of my favorite parts of that job at the movie theater was all the contact with the general public. The general public always makes me laugh for various different reasons.

One of my favorite interactions with the general public occurred before the existence of this blog during the summer of 2009 I believe, right before I began sophomore year of college. I was working the door, which means I was ripping tickets and telling people where to go. Usually people didn't listen to me and then I would see them walking around the lobby unable to find the correct theater despite the huge numbers on the doors, one of which matched the number on their ticket. But this one guy came in and gave me his ticket. I ripped it and was about to give it back and tell him where to go when he looked at me expressionless and said "this looks like a hard job." I was caught off guard by that, but later realized the hilarity of the statement. I definitely couldn't do whatever that guy did for a living! The best part about it is that is my type of humor exactly, sarcastic remarks. The guy's face and delivery were dead on, like Alec Baldwin's performances as Jack Donaghy, simply flawless. That's what I miss from that job, but I got lucky today when I got to deal with a truck driver who was delivering something to the company.

While we were waiting for the confirmation that the cargo could be delivered, the truck driver started asking me if I drank milk and if I had ever been to an animal farm or something like that. Then he started asking me if I ever thought about how everything we eat gets shit on. He used fish in the sea as an example because they shit in the water they live in. I was having such a good time listening to the guy that I was disappointed when he had to go continue to the next stage of the delivery. But before that he got one last good remark in. He told me he wished he had brought his phone in with him because he had this funny picture. The picture was of a "colored" boy saying to a white adult, "wow, you have so much clean water that you even shit in it."

I really enjoyed speaking with that truck driver, he was a funny dude. I also really enjoy listening to people who have unique things to say and are adamant about they are right. I don't know if everything we eat is really shit on, but it was sure a good time listening to this guy tell me that was true. Annnnd we're going to switch gears again, but you shouldn't be surprised. I finally saw The Dark Knight Rises, and as a huge fan of Batman, he's only my favorite hero of all time, I was surprised by the ending of the film. The ending was not bad by any stretch, but it was quite elaborate in my opinion. I liked the movie, though I still think The Dark Knight was the best of the series, but then again, that movie was simply amazing. The Dark Knight is definitely one of my all time favorite movies. I'll tell you my biggest complaint with The Dark Knight Rises, but I warn you, if you haven't seen it, this could be a SPOILER, so consider yourself warned. So on we go. My biggest complaint was the actress they chose to play Talia Al Ghul. The person they chose does not look like the person that could (here's what might be a spoiler) make that leap of fate in that jail place. Not only that, but she wasn't the sexy, sophisticated symbol I really like from Batman the Animated Series. The only other complaint I have is that Bane didn't have his sweet accent from the Animated Series either. Given those two somewhat minor details are my gripes with the movie, it was good. However, I do see Chase's side as well, at least in one way. I can understand if people think that Christopher Nolan (the director, in case you didn't know) sacrificed some of the Batman lore for the sake of the story that he wanted to tell. I understand if people did not like that Bane was not his traditional jacked up on venom self, but I really wanted the accent.



The Dark Knight Rises was an enjoyable experience to me. One of the best signs of this was that I didn't feel like I had been sitting in the theater for three hours when the movie was over, but I had. Oh yeah, I also got in for free because some of my friends/former coworkers were working! In general, I have to say that since I have started working I've been so much happier. I have things to do during the day, like work, and then on the weekends and some nights I go do things with friends. So far this routine is working out very well and I'm still able to meet my insatiable desire to stay in good physical shape. I don't know if I'm done with you yet, track. I'm going to keep this post short because I should probably go to bed soon, remember that means watch 30 Rock on Netflix, or Arrested Development because that show is great, too. I'll post more crap in the near future, so hope you read and enjoy it! But first, this is the Talia I wanted in the movie. And by one last thing I mean two. Listen to Foster the People's album, it is fantastic and I cannot stop listening to it.