A Not So Good Draft Strategy

As a sports fan I find sports analysis interesting, but not in an informative way. When I listen to sports analysis, even from the "experts," I can't help but think that all of it is absolute bullshit. Sports analysis is bullshit because it's all opinion and I can form my own opinion on sports things. I do enjoy some people's analysis, but really I just respect their opinion. I find it particularly amusing to listen to the analysts that over analyze the living crap out of sports. So in honor of over analyzing things that don't really matter, let's take a look at my horrible 2016 fantasy baseball draft, best summed up as a heaping pile of burning excrement. All the inside information on my genius strategy on building the worst offense in the league starts here.

First, here's a little background information on my fantasy sports career. I've participated in fantasy sports since 2005 according to Yahoo! Sports, meaning I began playing fantasy sports when I was in high school. However, I have not actively participated in any of the leagues I've been in. By that I mean that I hadn't participated in any live drafts until 2014 when some friends and I tried out a fantasy English Premier League. And in most of the leagues I participated in I lost interest at some point and completely checked out and didn't do anything including updating the roster. So this 2016 baseball season is only the second live draft I've done and I do plan on paying attention to my terrible team all the way to the bitter end of this dreadful campaign. Also, I'm not going through all 30 rounds of the draft because that would take to much time and effort for absolutely no reason because let's be honest here, no one cares. But, without further ado, here's round one!

1st Round

In the first round I had the 6th overall pick and it's really hard to screw up the first round. I saw Clayton Kershaw on the board and wasted no time in selecting the stud left-handed starter. I love Clayton Kershaw, he's one of my favorite people that I've never met. Not only is he one of the best pitchers today and probably all time, but he seems like a really great dude. I remember after the season he won the NL Cy Young award and NL MVP award he was asked how he was going to celebrate and he said he was going to have some friends over to play ping pong and Super Smash Brothers. He sounds just like my group of friends. Needless to say Kershaw was a fantastic pick, posting numbers to earn himself the number one overall spot on the fantasy point leaderboards all the way up until just before the All-Star break when he went on the DL with a back injury. He's been on the DL ever since. That's just bad luck, but nonetheless, my first round pick is a non-factor now.

I love Clayton Kershaw

Despite Kershaw landing on the DL, I don't regret the pick at all because he was performing exactly how I hoped he would putting up dazzling numbers including a ludicrous strikeout to walk ration. Here's a complete list of the first round picks:

1. Mike Trout
2. Bryce Harper
3. Paul Goldschmidt
4. Josh Donaldson
5. Andrew McCutchen
6. Clayton Kershaw
7. Nolan Arenado
8. Carlos Correa
9. Manny Machado
10. Giancarlo Stanton
11. Anthony Rizzo
12. Kris Bryant

Also worth noting, even though Kershaw hasn't pitched since June 26th, he's still ranked number 2 overall in fantasy rankings as of today, August 1st, 2016. That's how good a season he was having up until his back injury.

2nd Round

With the 17th overall pick I took Buster Posey, eligible for both catcher and first base. Posey has been relatively consistent this year, currently ranked 133rd overall in Yahoo! Fantasy sports. However, in retrospect I think I should have looked to get a slugger here. Posey is sitting at 12 homers on the season in the heart of a not so powerful Giant's offense. Players like Nelson Cruz and Ryan Braun (but I'm not a fan of him) were still available, but Posey's consistent performance is always a good thing to have, but I think in the future I should look for more pop in the first position player drafted. Round 2 results:

1. Max Scherzer
2. Miguel Cabrera
3. Jose Altuve
4. Edwin Encarnacion
5. Mookie Betts
6. Jose Abreu
7. Buster Posey
8. Jose Bautista
9. Dee Gordon
10. A.J Pollock
11. Jake Arrieta
12. Charlie Blackmon

3rd Round

With the 30th overall pick in the 3rd round I selected J.D. Martinez with the pop aspect of his game in mind. Martinez was having a pretty good season until he whacked his arm into the outfield wall tracking down a fly ball. At the time of the injury Martinez was hitting .286 with 12 homers, but he's been on the shelf for a long ass time now. So yeah, both my first and third round picks are on the shelf. Still just bad luck as far as my assessment goes.

1. Starling Marte

2. George Springer

3. Xander Bogaerts

4. Joey Votto

5. Madison Bumgarner

6. J.D. Martinez

7. Jose Fernandez

8. Jacob deGrom

9. Chris Sale

10. Ryan Braun

11. Nelson Cruz

12. Matt Harvey (talk about an unfortunate pick for the 2016 season for this guy!)

4th Round

Round four. I think I went off the rails here and made a bad pick. I took Miguel Sano with the 43rd overall pick. I picked Sano hoping for some more power, which Sano has displayed a bit with 15 homers currently, but 15 homers and a .241 average is not worth a fourth round selection. In the future I think I'll stick with taking more proven players with a good track record in the early rounds, make an attempt to get some reliable production. Nothing against Sano, but he doesn't have the track record to expect a certain type of production throughout the season. Not the wisest pick here in my hindsight estimation.

1. Zack Greinke

2. Prince Fielder

3. David Price

4. Carlos Gonzalez

5. Chris Davis

6. Corey Kluber

7. Miguel Sano

8. Adam Jones

9. Justin Upton

10. Yoenis Cespedes

11. Gerrit Cole

12. Kyle Schwarber

5th Round

Onto the 5th round and another injury! With the 54th overall pick I took Lorenzo Cain. Now I think Cain is a great fantasy player because he hits some homers, generally gets a good amount of hits, and he can steal bases. Lots of great fantasy tools! He's been kind of a streaky hitter this year going on some nice runs and then putting forward little offensive production for a stretch of games. Then he got hurt, too! He's back now, but only just recently back from the disabled list. For a decent amount of time My 1st, 3rd, and 5th round draft picks were all sitting on the bench/DL (because each player is only allowed to have two people on the distinguished DL slots otherwise they have to take up a spot on your bench/roster).

1. Felix Hernandez

2. Adrian Gonzalez

3. Todd Frazier

4. Carlos Gomez (another unfortunate draft pick)

5. Noah Syndergaard

6. Lorenzo Cain

7. Robinson Cano

8. Dallas Keuchel

9. Stephen Strasburg

10. Eric Hosmer

11. Jason Heyward

12. Brian Dozier

6th Round

I got really unlucky on this pick when I selected Sonny Gray to bolster my pitching. Gray has been a very good pitcher and the Athletics ace over the past few years. I saw this as a relatively safe bet pick, but holy crap has Sonny Gray had a dreadful season. I don't know if there's something wrong with the dude, but he's been getting hammered almost every single game to the point where I don't start him and always feel reluctant to do so. Gray currently has a 1.52 WHIP and 5.84 ERA which is unbelievably bad for a pitcher of his caliber. At this point I have very little hope that Gray will turn it around because I've been thinking that for months now. I also don't think I should blame myself for this pick because, honestly, who could have seen this dreadful season for Gray?

1. Matt Kemp

2. Jason Kipnis

3. Matt Carpenter

4. Chris Archer

5. Yasiel Puig

6. Carlos Carrasco

7. Sonny Gray

8. Kyle Seager

9. Michael Brantley

10. Adrian Beltre

11. Freddie Freeman

12. Troy Tulowitzki

7th Round

During the 7th round of the draft I went down to the subway station to pick my dad up and unsuccessfully attempted to monitor the draft from my mobile device. So Adam Wainwright was auto-drafted for me in this round. I don't think I would have selected Wainwright here and he had a really bad beginning to his season, but he's been pitching pretty well recently, including picking up a coveted complete game. He could be a very valuable piece for the rest of the season.

1. Johnny Cueto

2. Corey Seager

3. Jon Lester

4. Francisco Lindor

5. David Ortiz

6. Adam Wainwright

7. Jonathan Lucroy

8. Rougned Odor

9. Cole Hamels

10. Danny Salazar

11. Jacoby Ellsbury

12. Albert Pujols

8th Round

Missed this round, too and the computer made another selection I don't think I would have made: Kenley Jansen. Jansen has had a great season, so clearly the computer is a much better drafter than me. I probably would have selected some unproven clown or someone who would have gone on to get an injury.

1. Wade Davis

2. Hunter Pence

3. Craig Kimbrel

4. Tyson Ross

5. Anthony Rendon

6. David Peralta

7. Kenley Jansen

8. Mark Melancon

9. Trevor Rosenthal

10. Ian Kinsler

11. Hanley Ramirez

12. Michael Wacha

9th Round

And I'm back in time to make another ill pick in the form of Ben Revere. Revere has a .209 average during his play time this year! I made this pick in the hopes that Revere would get on base a lot, steal a decent amount of bases, and score a bunch of runs in a pretty good Nationals offense. He proved me right by doing close to jack shit! Another winner selection! I should have stayed out of the draft and let the computer make another selection.

1. Adam Eaton

2. Maikel Franco

3. Francisco Liriano

4. Aroldis Chapman

5. Gregory Polanco

6. Ben Revere

7. Ken Giles

8. Christian Yelich

9. Jeurys Familia

10. Zach Britton

11. Garrett Richards

12. Brett Gardner

10th Round

Here's another boneheaded decision. I went with Addison Russel here. What a bad pick. Russel has hit a good amount of homers for a second baseman and has driven in a bunch of runs because of how potent the Cubs offense has been this year. But he's extremely streaky. He'll go off for a short time, like two or three games, but then he'll hit like .150 for a week. I think this was a bad pick because again, this is a young unproven player with a very limited track record. In the future I think I'm going to alter my strategy and take these types of players much later on in the draft. Even ten rounds in I don't think taking Russel here is worth it.

1. Kole Calhoun

2. Evan Longoria

3. Ian Desmond (talk about a great pick)

4. Cody Allen

5. David Robertson

6. Shin-soo Choo

7. Addison Russel

8. Marcus Stroman

9. Carlos Martinez

10. Salvador Perez

11. Ben Zobrist

12. Jordan Zimmerman

11th Round

I selected shortstop Brandon Crawford in the 11th round with the 126th overall pick. Crawford was coming off a very good offensive year for a shortstop and I'm a fan of him, even though his great defense pays absolutely no dividends in this particular fantasy league. He's currently 315th in the fantasy leader boards, so maybe not the best pick here. Looking over this draft, I think I was drafting more like I was building a real baseball team as opposed to a fantasy baseball team which basically consists of picking stat generating monsters regardless of their other skills/short comings. Another dude I like a lot as a baseball player, but probably could have got someone of his caliber a bit later in the draft. But who knows!

1. Kendrys Morales

2. Hector Rondon

3. Alex Gordon

4. A.J. Ramos

5. Kolten Wong

6. Brandon Crawford
7. Masahiro Tanaka

8. Justin Verlander

9. Brandon Belt

10. Brian McCann

11. Michael Pineda

12. Russell Martin

12th Round

Now here was an ill yielding chance pick. Jorge Soler. Here's a guy I thought might have a breakout season with the Cubs and their very potent looking offense. Not only did Soler get injured and land on the DL, too, but he is having the opposite of a breakout season. The dude has 5 homers and is hitting .223, but I still have him on my team. Probably not worth it since the Soler has had practically no fantasy value. Definite fail pick based on the hopes of a breakout season for a player again without a track record.

1. Randal Grichuk

2. John Lackey

3. Raisel Iglesias

4. Joc Pederson

5. Jake Odorizzi

6. Lucas Duda

7. Jorge Soler

8. Steven Matz

9. Matt Holliday

10. Curtis Granderson

11. Travis d'Arnaud

12. James Shields

13th Round

We're off the rails again! Byung Ho Park! What in the hell was I thinking? I drafted Byung Ho Park here, yet another guy with no track record in the MLB and a guy who I dropped a while ago because he barely gets any hits. Sure he hits a decent amount of homers, but overall there's not much offensive production outside of the long balls. Not to mention that he's no longer even on the Twins because he got sent down to the minors. That's right, the Minnesota Twins sent him down to the minors. If that's not a bad sign, then I don't know what is. Absolutely dreadful pick. But wait, there's more, queue the 14th round!

1. Huston Street

2. Jonathan Papelbon

3. Dexter Fowler

4. Collin McHugh

5. Daniel Murphy

6. Byung Ho Park

7. Francisco Rodriguez

8. Stephen Piscotty

9. Billy Hamilton

10. Jay Bruce

11. Taijuan Walker

12. Trevor Story

14th Round

Look, another dud pick, this time with Shawn Tolleson! Tolleson was relatively good last year as the Rangers' closer and I thought it's good to have closers. To say Tolleson has been smacked around this year is an understatement. He's another player that I dropped quite some time ago and his ERA for my fantasy team was 10.13. Somehow he racked up 11 saves, but he was an overall hindrance to my team's pitching performance for many weeks. That's back to back draft picks that I dropped for bad performance. You could say I have the Midas touch for fantasy drafts.

1. Billy Burns

2. Elvis Andrus

3. Carlos Rodon

4. Yu Darvish

5. Michael Conforto

6. Khris Davis

7. Shawn Tolleson

8. Matt Duffy

9. Corey Dickerson

10. Shelby Miller

11. Glen Perkins

12. Dustin Pedroia

Okay, let's speed this up. Let's take a look at the rest of the draft quickly and you can draw your own conclusions about how bad a fantasy drafter I am, if you're even reading this far into something that has no bearing on anything.

15th Round: Josh Harrison (good player, but not necessarily a good fantasy player)

16th Round: Jason Hammel (so far so good with Hammel, he's having a very good season at the back end of the Cub's rotation)

17th Round: Chris Colabello (had a great year last season, got suspended for PED use early in the year and I dropped him! definitely another dud pick)

18th Round: Dellin Betances (he's the Yankees' closer now after the trades of Andrew Miller and Aroldis Chapman. Also he strikes out a whole bunch of people, so I'd consider this a decent pick)

19th Round: Francisco Cervelli (no power, he's gone cold, not looking like a good fantasy pick)

20th Round: Roberto Osuna (this was a great pick! Osuna is the Blue Jays' closer and he's pretty damn good!)

Seems appropriate about now, especially the football part

Right, this has gone on far too long and is much too silly. Enough of this nonsense. I set out on this path in an effort to show how terribly I drafted for fantasy baseball 2016, but what we got was this crap. Hopefully you didn't waste your time reading this garbage. Have a nice day!

Some Movies Make Me Sad for All the Wrong Reasons

Every once in a while I watch some news stories on the television. Practically every time I see a news story someone else is watching t.v. and has the news on, I don't seek out the news, but this past week I saw a brief story on one of the California news channels about a church offering people lessons on how to use handguns. I would link to any information regarding this story, but my lazy Google searches have returned no evidence of this story, so you'll have to take my word for it or just dismiss this as something stupid from my demented mind. The choice is yours. I saw this story and thought about the advertisement I see all over the place for the new Jason Bourne movie that just came out. I'm aware that the newest Bourne movie isn't getting many favorable reviews early on and I haven't seen it, but I think I know what the next Bourne movie should be about. I'll lay it out for you right here. See Jason Bourne as you've never seen him before in religious garb. This summer Jason is all in for the church in Bourne Again.

Comedy!

Alright, I digress from that idea which I will not describe with any adjectives. What I would like to discuss with myself here are movies, an entertainment medium that I very much enjoy, and a sad trend in the goal of movies. The movies I like best consist of an interesting story with a character or characters that the viewer actually gives a damn about. Now there are differences in what makes a good movie that are completely depending on the genre of movie. What makes a good comedy is completely different from what makes a good horror movie and what makes a good drama is completely different from what makes a good sci-fi adventure, etc. Also I'd like to take the time to acknowledge that I am fully aware that I'm a moron before I delve further into this, but I am sad that some movie makers have foregone making movies with good stories in an effort to push an agenda or pander to a certain group of people, or appeal to the largest amount of people. I've become a fan of Bret Easton Ellis' podcast recently and I particularly find his thoughts on movie making today interesting, especially when he touches on how ideology is trumping aesthetics a lot now. I know nobody cares what I think because I'm a nobody, but just because a movie is about a real life issue of importance doesn't mean that the movie is good. I feel like if a movie is about slavery you are expected to like it regardless of how good it is or else you're a racist. If the movie is about an empowered female lead and you don't like the movie, then you're a sexist. How about making a good movie?

Adventure!

Personally I'd like to see all the pandering and agenda pushing go away. I watch movies for entertainment. Sometimes I want to go on an adventure, sometimes I want to laugh until my eyes tear up, sometimes I want to get a scare that makes it hard to sleep at night, and sometimes I want to have whatever kind of an experience dramas engender, a dramatic experience I guess. I want buzz surrounding a movie because of the interesting story it's going to tell, but now a lot of the big headlines about movies have to do with social issues and to me social issues and entertainment do not go together. For example, I recently saw a report about the new Star Trek movie before it came out about how one of the characters is gay. All I could think about was why in the hell does that matter? I don't see characters in movies and instantly think I wonder if that guy wants to make out with the female character or take it in the ass. Especially in a movie like Star Trek where I can't imagine how a character's sexual orientation could matter. Then at the end of last week I read the intro to an article about a new Rocketeer movie. I remember watching that movie as a little kid and enjoying it so I was thinking "oh cool, there's going to be a new Rocketeer movie!" I only made it through one paragraph that said the new Rocketeer is going to be an African-American woman before I stopped reading. Again, why does that matter? Why is that the highlight of a new Rocketeer movie? I feel like whoever is making this movie is expecting praise just because of who is playing the lead role. The safety net has already been cast, if you don't like the movie, then you are a sexist and a racist. But obviously you can't have an opinion on a movie that hasn't come out yet.

Horror!

An important thing to take into account here, too is my age. I'm in the mid-twenties, twenty-six to be exact, so my overall scope is limited. I can't comment on the movies trends from decades ago, I'm merely reacting to what's going on now, but I believe this is a recent trend that has grown stronger over the past decade or so. The new Ghostbusters movie fits into this agenda pushing trend. I haven't seen it and I don't plan to because after seeing the trailers it simply didn't look like a movie I'd want to see. For one I wouldn't call myself a Ghostbusters fan, I've seen the first one which is good, but I never thought it was one of the best movies I'd seen or a personal favorite. Another reason I won't go see it is because of how Sony Pictures treated the people online for disliking the trailer and expressing negative opinions. Of course it's not a good thing to post hurtful comments, but remember this is the internet we're speaking about and as BanditIncorporated said, you can't out troll the internet trolls. Plus those people should be the target audience for a Ghostbusters movie. Lastly, I won't go watch this movie because from the reviews I've listened to the humor is not the humor of the first Ghostbusters movie and there is no horror element like the first Ghostbusters movie. Those two things are really what made the first Ghostbusters movie the popular movie it is. From what I have garnered from reviews is that Ghostbusters 2016 is a forgettable story centered around a whole bunch of dumb people with a whole lot of CGI. Simply, it's not a movie I'm interested in watching. I also get the impression that some of the people who like Ghostbusters 2016 like it because the men in the movie are stupid and the main characters are female and there's a part in the movie where the Ghostbusters shoot a ghost in the balls region. I hope my impression is wrong because it saddens me if people like a movie for those reasons.

Action!

I also believe that the newest Star Wars movie titled The Force Awakens is part of the we have to please certain people trend. This is a movie I have seen and if you've read my previous post, then you know I don't like it. In short, I didn't like The Force Awakens because I thought the story was weak and rushed along with lots of character issues for both old and new characters. I'm just a nobody, dumbass, but I could come up with some more interesting ideas for episode seven than what was in The Force Awakens which was more like a remake of the original Star Wars movies but a little different. Enough with these reboots and remakes of good movies of the past with new spins and bring back new ideas with fresh plot lines and characters.

Satire!

On an unrelated note, I've started a new blog dedicated to dumb short stories that cook inside my demented mind. I give you Absurdly Twisted Shorts! Follow the link if you'd like to read my dumb crap. Just made my first published post the other day and I might add some artwork to it which will most likely be very bad, but artwork nonetheless.

Drama!

Well, that's all I've got for now. Have a wonderful day!

Sci-Fi!

Something Amiss

For the better part of the past twelve months I've been attempting to make sense of a world that makes no sense. I left the job I had for over two years because I was incredibly unhappy. I left the region of the country I'd spent the past 15 years of my life in because the climate is hell to me. I have a bachelors degree in business from a legitimate university. I thought I could leave a place I dislike and find a decent job, but all I've found is disappointment and failure. Not enough experience, long gap of unemployment, no advanced certification or degree, all reasons no one will hire me. After over one hundred job applications and many interviews culminating at best in an email about going in a different direction, and at worst no response whatsoever, I find myself losing interest in the search, wondering why I even bother, and not understanding.

The only conclusion I draw is quite simple: I don't fit in. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

How Good is The Force Awakens?

Let's attack the highly debated Star Wars franchise on the offensive. The Force Awakens is my least favorite installment in the Star Wars movie franchise. Star Wars popular opinion states that the original trilogy is good, but go ahead and talk crap about Return of the Jedi, and the prequels exist as an utter load of garbage. Now I do agree that the original trilogy is the best, headlined by The Empire Strikes back, a gloriously good movie, but I don't hate on Return of the Jedi and I don't think The Force Awakens is good, much less better than the prequels. Having watched and read many reviews and takes on The Force Awakens over the last few months I've noticed the first point of discussion I'd like to tackle: a plethora of people annoyed that people didn't like the prequels because they weren't anything like the original trilogy and now people don't like The Force Awakens because it's too much like the original trilogy. I don't believe that's the issue here and in order to come to that conclusion we need to look at what the prequels represent and what the new trilogy of Star Wars movies represent.

Since the prequels tell George Lucas' Star Wars story from the beginning, I'd like to look at that trilogy first. Essentially the prequels represent the rise of the Dark Side threat in the galaxy through Darth Sidius (Senator Palpatine) and Darth Vader, and the dismantling of the Jedi, the protectors of the galaxy. Now by no means is this well done in the prequels, however, if you take the story's concepts, then it fits into the original trilogy just fine. I don't believe anyone has any qualms over the overarching story of Darth Sidius seducing Anakin Skywalker to the Dark Side while rising to power politically. The issue with the prequels is in the execution. All three prequel installments have major issues that deserve all the criticism they receive and no, the prequels are nothing like the original trilogy, but I don't think they were intended to. The prequels show how Palpatine rose to power and turned Anakin Skywalker into his apprentice. Episodes four through six tell the story of the return of the Jedi to protect the galaxy once again by vanquishing the Empire and it's Dark Side gifted leaders. Two trilogies telling two different stories are not going to have the exact same arcs with the same elements and same tone/feel. All the bad that people bring up about the prequels, in my experience, have to do with execution, not so much the overarching story. I do agree that in comparison to the original trilogy, the prequels are not good movies, but I would argue that the problem with the prequels lies in the execution of the story telling.

In comparison to the prequels, the new Star Wars trilogy, now in the hands of corporate giant Disney, is much more abstract because complete freedom exists in the direction of the story. After the original trilogy came out, labeled as episode four through six, it makes sense that episodes one through three would show how the Star Wars universe got to episode four as previously discussed. Then at the end of Return of the Jedi, the conclusion of the original trilogy (episode six), the Jedi assisted the rebels in overthrowing the Empire and it's quest to rule the galaxy by taking down the overseeing leader Darth Sidius and his apprentice Darth Vader. Return of the Jedi ends on a happy note with Luke, Leia, Han, Chewbaka, Lando, etc. surviving the war in space, land, and on spaceship and everyone rejoices with parties galore! From a moviegoers perspective all is well in the Star Wars galaxy, good guys win. If anyone wants to continue the Star Wars saga from that point forward there's a lot of freedom. Now we can finally get into The Force Awakens.

The Force Awakens is titled Star Wars Episode VII and takes place about 30 years after the events of Return of the Jedi with all our heroes from the previous trilogy still breathing. Calling this movie episode seven means that it is a continuation of the first six movies, but I take issue here because The Force Awakens doesn't tell a new story. The problem is not that The Force Awakens is too much like the original trilogy, the problem is that it is the original trilogy, most specifically Episode IV: A New Hope. I know that a countless number of people have pointed out the plot similarities between the original trilogy and The Force Awakens, but it's an issue that cannot be ignored. In terms of style and feel, I don't think the original trilogy and The Force Awakens have much in common at all, all the commonalities lie in the plot which is the reason people criticize the movie. The Force Awakens is more a remake of A New Hope than a continuation of the saga. I will not go over all the similarities in the plot, there are plenty of videos on YouTube on that subject, I just wanted to point out that The Force Awakens suffers from borrowing too much from the original trilogy and telling the same story we've already experienced. We'll have to wait for the rest of the trilogy to come out before passing final judgement on the overarching story, but I take issue with that direction: no one knows what Luke Skywalker is up to, the lead villain Kylo Ren already suffered defeat at the hand of the protagonist, and is the New Order just another name for the Empire? What was the point of the movie? What is The Force Awakens about? The plot and story of The Force Awakens did not peak my interest in a what's going to happen next way. After the Episode IV: A New Hope we knew that Luke's father was a Jedi and Ben Kenobi had been a mentor to Anakin Skywalker. We knew that Ben Kenobi told Luke that Darth Vader had murdered Anakin and at the end of the movie Vader takes down Kenobi. We knew that the Empire had been set back by the destruction of the Death Star at the hands of the rebels, but the Empire had not been destroyed. Luke tells Ben Kenobi that he wants to follow in his father's footsteps and become a Jedi Knight. We know that going forward we'll see Luke's path of struggle to Jedi Knighthood and  the rebels' uphill battles to stop the Empire for good. There's a general sense of what's going to happen in the next installments. As for the prequels, we knew Episode II would be a continuation of the Anakin Skywalker story as well as Palpatine's rise and his attempts to dismantle the Jedi. The story of The Force Awakens leaves so many unanswered questions that it's hard to draw any conclusions about where the story is going. Since The Force Awakens tells an extremely similar story to A New Hope, I'm guessing the rest of the new Disney Star Wars trilogy will be about the rebels/Jedi going against the power of the New Order who want to conquer the galaxy and the next installment will probably be called something like Star Wars Episode VIII: The New Order Retaliates.

After walking out of the theater at the end of The Force Awakens, I remember thinking quite hard about what I thought of the movie. At first my reaction was that it was just alright, but I felt disingenuous even giving it an alright. The Force Awakens, at it's core, is a very hollow film that really meant nothing at all to me. The story was very familiar and I couldn't find a reason to care about anything that had happened. The movie felt like a nonstop roller coaster ride rushing from scene to scene without any reason to stop and think about what happened or how it made me feel, never mind giving any explanation for what had happened. The Force Awakens relies on references to the original trilogy and characters from the original trilogy to plow through an uninspired story. I think The Force Awakens suffers from lack of an original, well thought out story poorly developed new characters. I found the new characters rushed into the plot and contradictory to established personalities/skills at times, but these are stories for another time (see what I did there).I wanted to establish my view on The Force Awakens on a macro level before getting into the precise details of why I'm not a fan of the film. Also stumbled across a great article about what The Force Awakens is about, if you're interested and have some time to spare click here to read it! In conclusion, I think The Force Awakens is a below average movie and, as previously stated, my least favorite Star Wars movie. I'm also fully aware that I'm a moron so no need to take any of this seriously. If I ever get around to blogging some more about Star Wars, I'm thinking of writing about the moments in The Force Awakens that took me out of the movie in a "what the hell?" kind of way and an exploration of the characters new and old. Thanks for reading!

Beware the Resume Police

Every person and every generation has different burdens to trudge through. Now I don't claim to know what the world, or more specifically the United States, was like before my time, but I do have observations on today's USA. I'm 26 years old, I've graduated from college with a bachelor's degree, I worked for three years, and now I'm unemployed with issues finding a new job. Now, I did leave my last job intentionally because I did not like the job and I don't believe in compromising my own sanity for a job. All it takes is one bad day. I left the job at the end of May of 2015, right around ten months ago. Since then I've been looking for a position that fits me better, which I'm still on the hunt for. Just last week I had a conversation with a job recruiter about why I left my last job and what I'm looking for now. She asked me about my interest in accounts payable, which I have no interest in doing long term because honestly I feel like that kind of job is far below my intellect and I don't see any useful career path in accounts payable. Where do you go from there? In my estimation, the recruiter's tone changed when I told her that accounts payable isn't really what I want to do with my life. Her tone went from friendly to low key attacking me about how I've been out of work for almost a year and how I need to get something on my resume or else I'll never work again or something. I have a problem with this. I understand the importance of work experience, but I have a problem with my personal situation. I easily could have avoided this long gap of employment by not leaving my previous job, but staying in that position for another year doing the same exact things I had been doing for almost two years doesn't have much value to me except on a resume. Albert Einstein did say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. This quote sums up how I felt about the job I had. Should I keep going to this job every week, doing the same work that drives me crazy and keep expecting the situation to improve? I waited for two years to see if the job would change for the better and the job didn't get better and from conversations with my boss it wasn't going to get any better any time soon. When I gave notice of my departure, my boss told me he didn't blame me for leaving.

So what does this all mean? Well, I think some archaic "rules" exist in our country, for example the gap in employment on my resume. A resume shows potential employers the qualifications of potential job candidates. The resume says "hey hiring person, this is what I've done for work and this is where I went to college." Why does it matter if I haven't had a professional job for ten months? I haven't forgotten everything I've learned or done at my previous jobs. To me, the gap in employment serves only as another device companies can use to say "no, we don't want to interview you." Looking at the interaction I had with the recruiter last week, I don't believe she gives a damn about me and how hard getting a job might be for me if I've been unemployed for a full year. I think she only cares because her job would be more difficult if she was trying to "sell me" to a potential employer. I do want to work and I don't want to make it hard for someone like this recruiter to help me find a job. My issue lies in how I got here. If I thought the best job I could obtain after college was paying bills, then I probably wouldn't have gone to college. I do believe an economic issue exists for Generation Y/Millennials with the increase in college attendees and graduates.

Sure, lots of people who go to college get great jobs and set down a very good career path. However, let us not forget about the people who, despite earning college degrees, don't find a great job right out of the gate. Unless you're a genius, someone like Bill Gates who doesn't need college to find success, the United States and I believe many other countries have adopted the ideology of college, an extended learning experience intended to foster a more intelligent work force. Here's the problem, earning a bachelor's degree now does not guarantee the same advantage it did even a generation ago. An increasing number of people with bachelor's degrees means more "qualified" candidates for positions deemed only for college degree holders. The types of jobs that have been presented to me over the past few months I believe are below my intellect, meaning I'm getting undervalued, and I think many more are in similar position. How do we as a country combat that? Go to grad school! I wonder if years from now graduate school will be the norm. Four years of undergrad, then one to four years of graduate school, and then you might be able to get a job paying bills! I mean, I know about synergy and vertical integration, what else do I really need to know?

One of the jobs pitched to me by a recruiter a couple weeks ago paid $35,000 annually. That's more than $10,000 per year less than what my previous job paid. Not to mention that the cost of living where I am now is generally higher than where I was living. I'm dumbfounded that one year of college costs more than many annual salaries of entry level jobs out there. Granted I did go to a private college, but the idea remains absurd to me. The aforementioned recruiter that began low key attacking me about getting something on my resume before a full year of unemployment asked me what I wanted to do. After the conversation ended, I kept thinking about that question. What do I want to do? Well, I know I don't want to pay bills or call people about money owed for the rest of my life. The real answer is I don't know. Really all I know right now is what I don't want to do because I've been there. I quit my job because I didn't like it and I realize not everyone can understand that or afford to take that type of action. But, given my position, I can leave my job and not end up on the street, for now at least. So you damn know I took that opportunity, not risk, but opportunity. Yes, there is risk in leaving a full time job at a stable company, but I also possess the freedom to explore other opportunities that have the very real potential to be better than what I was doing. And always remember, freedom is only a possibility if you're able to say no. I have said no to potential jobs over the past year because I'm holding out for something better. I don't see any value in going from one job I don't like to another job I won't like. Then the resume police would get on my case for job hopping, another resume sin to go along with employment gaps. What a load of shit.

Well, only time will tell if I'm doing the right thing or if I'm a huge moron. I'm not ruling out the moron part yet, but I'm definitely going to try to find the right job/lifestyle for me. I will not settle for a $35k per year job just yet. Lastly, if you've never read The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, please do, that story gets my full endorsement.

Unemployment: How I Pass Time

Two weeks ago I was sitting in a forty degree house in Massachusetts and today I find myself sitting in the warm climate of Southern California. I spent two and a half months in Southern California at the end of last summer, now I'm back and I still have no idea what I'm doing. This past weekend my Dad and I were out on leisurely drive. While waiting for a stoplight to permit us advancement down the street, I peered out the widow to the street corner where I saw some dude. In typical big city fashion this dude was standing at the street corner begging for money, rather standard. What caught my eye was the sign this guy had propped up next to him, which read "Need Money for Weed Please." I love the brutal honesty. No bullshitting, just straight up I need money so I can purchase some marijuana. I would be willing to bet that a lot of the dudes begging for money most likely use any money donated to them for drugs and/or alcohol, but this was the first time I've seen someone openly ask for weed money via a handwritten sign. I think this dude should get extra credit points for honesty.

Now when I was in California last summer, while walking down the street, some other dude was walking down the street in the opposite direction coming toward me. Clearly this man was deranged, he was talking to himself some kind of gibberish. When we got to the point where we were passing each other, he looked over to me and said "like this ugly faced mother f**ker." I don't know how many people this disturbed guy calls an ugly faced mother f**ker a day, but I'll take it as a compliment and pretend he doesn't call people that all that often. Not to mention the guy in downtown LA who told me he was known as Batman and has been roaming the streets of LA for 27 years, longer than I've been alive at this point. There are a lot of strange people in big cities.

This is my second stint in LA within the last six months. The first stint ended with little progress and not much to speak about. Just some general disappointment and anger that I believe I wrote about months ago. This stint has picked up where the last one left off, so far useless with not much indication that I'm going to make anything of it. However, I don't want to discuss any of this east coast, west coast crap right now, I think I've done plenty of that over the past year. Specifically, I want to focus on what I do to not go insane during unemployment. I mentioned in my last post that I had to leave my last job to preserve my mental sanity and happiness. I was in a bad spot mentally a year ago driven by the hate for my job and supplemented by the insanely horrible winter the northeast had in 2014/2015. Since leaving that job, going on a whole bunch of interviews, working at a temp job for a month, and still not having a full time job about ten months later, I've managed to keep myself happy by tapping into the things that things I enjoy.

Let's begin with comedy. I love comedy. Without work, I spend countless hours each day listening to stand up routines and watching comedians on YouTube. I enjoy the work of comedians such as Dave Chappelle, George Carlin, Rodney Dangerfield, Stephen Wright, Jim Breur, Dan Cummins, and Daniel Tosh. However, currently my two favorite comedians to listen to are Bill Burr and Anthony Jeselnik. I listen to these two guys almost daily right now, their stand up routines, podcasts, roasts, anything they're involved in and damn they are hilarious. If I had to pick a spokesman for men, without a doubt I would pick Bill Burr. I like Bill Burr because he speaks the truth about everyday topics with a major shade of comedy. I think Bill is quite smart, even though he often says he doesn't read or research anything, but his observations are spot on.

Anthony Jeselnik is my favorite, though. I love that he tells offensive jokes and doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks. He enjoys when people get offended by his jokes and the he's an intelligent guy. I'm a huge fan of how he ended his show, The Jeselnik Offensive, by telling viewers to go read a book. And I love how he shits on people who don't read and aren't familiar with well know literary and historical facts in his stand up routines. If you think Anthony Jeselnik is funny, then you understand my sense of humor perfectly.

Another thing I do is play video games and I finally have a reason/understanding why. I'm reading a book titled Reality is Broken, check this out if you like playing games or if you just want to read something interesting about today's culture, which explains why people enjoy playing games. My short abbreviated synopsis type thing about the first couple chapters of Reality is Broken argues that people play games because the everyday grind of life is not satisfying for people. Many people have jobs that don't have clear cut end goals or a feedback system that shows progress toward your goal. Games, whether video games, mobile games, card games, board games, etc. all have clear cut objectives, a goal to accomplish, and indications on your progress in accomplishing the objective. That's why I play video games. I enjoy both single player games and online multiplayer games because I feel like I'm working toward a defined end goal and I can actually track my progress. Games are fun and allow us to continuously accomplish objectives unlike everyday life.

Check this book out!

Mention of Reality is Broken brings me to books, the final thing getting me through this strange time in life. At the beginning of the new year I decided I want to always have something to read. Once I finish a book, I want to begin another. I don't have a specific number of books I want to read in a given year, but I want to constantly read with no gaps. Right now I'm simultaneously reading Watchmen, 1984, and Reality is Broken. I'm going to finish Watchmen very soon, I'm at the later stages of the story, then I'll bring more focus back to Reality is Broken. Reality is Broken is more of an academic book, still great though, but I need to read something with a story which Watchmen and 1984 sufficiently provide. If you haven't read either of those titles, please check them out, both equal very good so far.

Back in high school, and even college, I didn't appreciate the power of literature. Now that I'm discovering how interesting books are and how much knowledge you can gain from them, I strongly encourage everyone to go pick up a book and give reading a chance. So there you have it, my recipe for enjoying myself: comedy, games, and reading. I'd like to leave you with this:

Unemployment: What Happens Next? Who Cares?

Many months have passed since I held a full time job creating an abundance of free time. Free time dedicated to finding new work, but more importantly, free time to reflect. The past tells the story of a young man following the path created and manufactured by the generations of people before him. Go to school, go to college, earn a degree, obtain a job. Simple in design, yet complex in completion. What happens when the path ends in failure? Does blame fall on the individual or the system?

I left my last full time position because of the dreadful nature of the work. I knew every day I didn't quit meant at least two more weeks of misery. Eventually I snapped and gave notice of departure with no further plan. Call me shortsighted, stupid, whatever adjective you'd like, but I'd rather not torture myself given the choice to willingly stop the abuse. I didn't dedicate four years to college to take verbal abuse over the phone daily. Even without income for months, I'm happier now than under previous dreadful employment.

Hours spent scouring job postings and sending out resumes yielding less than desirable results leaves me wondering how did I get here? The largest issue lies in the actual work. I cannot find any work pertaining to my degree or work experience that I find marginally interesting. Apparently issue two involves my work experience. Job interviews I thought went well returned negative results with the hiring party choosing another candidate with more experience. The work experience monster and I met before..... just after graduation when my professional job experience rounded up to zero. Meeting the work experience monster again makes me feel like the past 3 years of my life spent working equals worthless.

One job interview stands out above the rest. While speaking with the CFO, which stands for certified f**king ordure in this special case, I got THE QUESTION: why did you leave your last job? I told him why. We spoke about the answer a bit, but he kept going back to that question: why did you leave your last job? This CFO, famous in my memory for at least a bit longer, asked me if looking back at that decision now, would I have made a different decision because of the job market and how long I'd been unemployed, if the decision was shortsighted. I looked him in the eye and told him I'd make the same decision again given the knowledge I have now. Needless to say, the job was offered to another candidate. Fine by me, I couldn't work for someone who presumes to know a thing about me after less than an hour of speaking with me. Maybe the person they did hire will shoot the place up one day, but who cares, they had good work experience and no long gaps of unemployment.




Unfortunately, telling the whole truth in interviews remains a non-option. Tales of unhappiness and feeling undervalued won't land a job. Before I quit, I hated myself every day I didn't quit. I hated commuting to work knowing my final destination was torture for next eight or nine hours. In the beginning I ate lunch at work, but in time I had to leave because the place made me sick. I broke two telephone receivers out of rage from the constant nagging and verbal abuse I received from customers. Also note that I have never worked in customer service or at a help desk, my function has always been in accounting, and at this particular job that meant dealing with any type of money issue a customer for the multi-million dollar company could have.

Do I need a career change? Do I need more schooling? Should I settle for a less than ideal job? Am I so damn strange that I don't fit into "system of life" instilled in our modern world? I don't know the answer to any of these questions. I don't need to know the answer to any of these questions. If I'm happy, that's all I care about. Right now, definitely not happy. Life feels constricted and contrived. Do this, then do this so you can have this and do that. The older I get the more I believe George Carlin:




I highly doubt the discovery of the meaning of life, hell, the movie Prometheus remains highly debatable, but I want to go through life laughing. I've been unemployed for several months and endured a whole bunch of rejection, I find all of it hilarious despite remaining in a constant state of predicament. Ultimately my contribution to society and the world equals meaningless. I want to spend time with friends, play games, and laugh at offensive jokes, that's my happiness equation. Friends+ games + offensive jokes = happiness. My send off message to everyone, lighten the f**k up, damn it.

One Man, Two Masterpieces

Over the past few months, an excessively large amount of free time has provided me the opportunity to explore one of my personal favorite expressions of art: movies. More specifically, I watched two insanely well made and entertaining movies directed by Ridley Scott, Alien and Blade Runner. These two movies are absolutely amazing and on my list of all time favorites (that has never been compiled). I find that movies today and recent history don't have the same kind of magic that Alien and Blade Runner have, making me feel kind of like an old curmudgeon claiming that "they don't make movies like they used to." But in all honesty, I feel that the style of movie portrayed in these two Ridley Scott classics is a lost art. Unfortunately I don't think I'll ever see another movie like Alien ever again. What I am going to do here, is break down what, in my opinion, made Blade Runner and Alien so damn good. If you haven't seen these movies, I would suggest reading no further than here because some of the things I write about will probably ruin certain things that should be experienced when watching the movie for the first time (spoiler-esque stuff).

Let's begin with Alien, a near perfect horror movie, at least in my estimation. First thing I want to say, I love this movie. What I really enjoy about Alien, and Blade Runner, derives from the era these movies were made, 1970s and 1980s respectively. With low tech special effects at their disposal and no CGI, these movies focused on creating a good, solid story that makes you think, and in Alien's case, does a masterful job at creating tension. Let's take a step back, though, and begin with the trailer for Alien.

Fantastic is the word that comes to mind when I watch the Alien trailer. No words are uttered, none of the plot is given away, but the trailer leaves the viewer with a sense of intrigue, a wonder of what the heck is going on. Many trailers today give away far too much of the plot or show too many of the funny parts. Most importantly, the Alien trailer doesn't show any glimpse of the Alien. The sense of wonder and cause for fear only revealed in the actual movie. I wasn't alive when Alien came out in theaters, but I wish I could have had the experience of seeing this movie for the first time on the big screen with no idea what the movie was about. The title Alien itself is fantastic. Working as a noun or adjective, the word "alien" has a double meaning as the title for the movie. The title coupled with an outstanding trailer make practically a perfect marketing tool, and I didn't even mention the insanely good tag line "In space no one can hear you scream." But I digress, let us look at what makes the movie so good.

The plot of Alien is incredibly simplistic: a crew of seven people aboard a commercial towing vessel (the Nostromo) are waken prematurely out of hyper-sleep when the ship detects a distress beacon on a foreign planet. The crew investigates, one is member, Kane, is attacked by a facehugging thing, brought back on the ship. An extraterrestrial being bursts from his chest and terror ensues. The plot is simple and easy to follow. I would also like to note how there are only seven people on the Nostromo which allows the story to build personalities around the characters. It gives us a reason to give a crap about what's going on. I personally love Parker, played by Yaphet Kotto. In the opening scenes up until the incident, each character's personality is built, how they speak, how they react, sense of humor, those types of things.

C'mon man, the food ain't that bad

Good stories, whether movies, books, short stories, whatever, allow you to connect with the characters, make you give a damn about them. Then the next fantastic aspect following the initial character development is the tension building. When the crew finds the downed ship on LV-426, there's this steady decent into darkness, where you're wondering when the heck is something going to happen. Even as Kane peers at the mysterious looking eggs, the subsequent facehugger was something no one had ever seen before and goes straight for Kane's face. Remember, too, that this movie came out in 1979 and no creature shots had been revealed. I think that's incredibly awesome!

From the time the Nostromo crew sets down on LV-426 the tension continues to mount until the movie comes to an end, where only Ripley and Jonesy the cat make it out alive. One by one the alien takes out the crew. There are no overlong action sequences or battles, just overpowering extraterrestrial rape? Why bring up rape? Well, the only thing more terrifying than getting raped, is getting raped by a clown. And the only thing that might be more terrifying than getting raped by a clown might be getting raped by the xenomorph in Alien. Discussions of Alien have covered practically all aspects of the movie including what the alien does to its pray. In Alien, you never see the violence, you have no idea what in the hell it's doing to the victim. Then you also notice that the bodies are never left behind. What is happening to these people? The concept that the alien in a way rapes it's victim adds to the terror created in the movie. Even if you go back to the facehugger, what does it do? It jumps on the victim's face and puts it's proboscis-like tube down their throat while wrapping it's tail around the neck. That is damn horrifying!

There's also this sweet deleted scene that indicates the alien isn't killing its prey:

I'd like to think that this scene was not included in the final cut of the film for pacing reasons. The movie does have wonderful pacing and it probably just didn't fit. However, I choose to believe that what's seen in this scene is what is happening to the alien's victims. Ripley just doesn't discover the cocoons that the alien has been creating. Again, this just adds to the terror in the movie, these people are attacked by the alien, who the hell knows what the alien does to them, and then it cocoons them. Then you add in that this foreign creature cannot be killed, the android even calling it the "perfect organism." That's horror done right.

Now let's switch gears to the other Ridley Scott classic, Blade Runner. This movie is straight up science fiction gold. This movie, like Alien relied on something outside of giant action scenes and crazy special effects that didn't exist when the movie was made. Blade Runner relies on a great story to build a memorable movie. Set in future Los Angeles, blade runners are hunting down a group of replicants, the Nexus-6, who have gone rogue and come back to earth to find their creator. Replicants are androids, and the Nexus-6 are a particularly advanced model. Please stop reading and go watch Blade Runner if you haven't seen it. Without going through the entire plot to this movie, what makes it great is the realizations of both the Nexus-6 replicants and blade runner Deckard, played by Harrison Ford.

Once you've seen the whole movie and taken some time to think about it, you realize that the Nexus-6 replicants want the answers to the same questions we humans have. The Nexus-6 seek out their creator and want to know why they were created, why the are here, and how long will they live. While this movie is made much better, I believe Ridley Scott was attempting to tell this story from the human perspective in Prometheus. You get all these questions raised by a mechanical race created by man and at the same time there is this kind of strange thing going on in the background making you wonder if Deckard, the blade runner tasked with hunting down these replicants, is actually a replicant himself. The movie makes you think beyond the events of the movie. I'd now like to end this post the same way that Blade Runner ends: