Where Am I Now?

Well, I'd say it's about time for an update on life. In particular, my life, especially since that's the only one I really have a qualified knowledge on. I'm now 23 years old and still alive. That's about it, I'll catch up with you next time here on Sycophantic Laughter. Feel free to stop reading at this point because it's probably not going to get any more interesting for you. I've been out of college for over a year now and I've been working full time since July 17th of the year two-thousand and twelve. I still live at home and I'm below average social status. I live one day to the next and most days seem like the last. Mix that in with a little bit of nothing and you've basically found the recipe for my life.

Apparently I still look young, I was asked last Friday if I was still in high school and one of my coworkers said she had shoes older than me. My youngness is only accentuated when I shave, getting rid of that facial hair makes me look a week or two younger. I haven't committed a felony, but I have been given a twenty dollar speeding ticket. I don't do drugs and I drink more alcohol than I did in college. I eat vegetables but I'm not fond of tomatoes. Potatoes are better than sweet potatoes and I like pop music but I dislike pop culture.

I still work out, but my days as an athlete are most likely numbered. I usually don't remember dreams, but at least I'm not getting chased by giant rats anymore. I don't have a girlfriend, but that seems to be a what lots of people are interested in. My love for the game of soccer has regrown exponentially since sophomore year of college; I'm super excited to see Jose Mourinho back in Premier League next year, right where he wants to be! I really like comedy and many things in life have become one overlapping giant joke to me. I tend to belittle anything I accomplish, but it's all in good humor.

Now I'm going to take a step back and reflect more on one of the things I've said about myself. Often when I see someone I haven't seen for a long time or I'm getting acquainted to new people, such as new coworkers, I'm asked if I have a girlfriend. I don't, but I don't blame any females I've met. Trust me, I probably wouldn't want to date anyone that would want to date a guy like me. I don't know what that means, but it sounds interesting. I also stole that idea from Woody Allen who said he wouldn't want to belong to a club who had a member like him. The same coworker that told me she had shoes older than me asked if I had a girlfriend because she has some daughters she said she would introduce me to. I thought that comment was really funny. Even earlier today when one of our interns came in, she introduced me and said I was available. But if I really wanted that kind of help, I'd just tweet at Kim from the band Matt & Kim. Apparently this is the time of life when people kind of expect you to be involved in some kind of relationship. I'm below average social status, though, so I wouldn't expect anything different from myself. I've given up on a few girls that have given up on me. I'm not keeping my options open or any bullshit like that. It simply hasn't worked out yet. As I see it, I don't know what I'm missing, and they don't know what they're missing, so I'd say it's even.

Kim is a wild woman

And now for something completely different. Can I first point out that I can no longer watch any news broadcast anymore without thinking about Monty Python? The news really is a bunch of randomly put together stories of varying severity and interest that can only be transitioned from one to another with the phrase "and now for something completely different." In this case, the completely different thing is planning a trip to Brazil next summer to go see some of the World Cup! I'm looking to make it happen, so I'll wish myself good luck because no one else should give a damn!