More Like Super Crap

The end of January/the beginning of February is upon us, meaning that a horrid event is upon us: the Super Bowl. Over the past few years I have really developed a dislike for the Super Bowl. This dislike started during the first Super Bowl between the Patriots and the Giants, after the 2007/2008 season. That year the Patriots had won 18 of 18 games going into the Super Bowl to play a Giants team that I don't think deserved to be in the "Super Bowl." That team was anything but super. Of course they won, then were crowned "world champions" because that makes so much sense. Since that moment I've developed my doubts about the American structure of sports leagues. For the most part I dislike postseason play and the championship game/series structure. I think this structure only gives the illusion of fairness because it allows for more variety of champions. The team that wins the most does not always win the championship. I just think that's stupid, but hey, I'm stupid too.

I haven't made up my mind yet, but I am certainly leaning toward not watching the Super Bowl this year. Why? I think the match up sucks. I would not watch a San Francisco 49ers versus Baltimore Ravens game on a regular Sunday, so I've decided that Super Bowl Sunday is no different. I don't care if it's the Super Bowl. The only reason that game means more than a regular season game is because some ass clowns decided it is. I also just see it as a match up between two of the dirtiest defenses in the league.

This image should be enough to dislike the Super Bowl and what it stands for

When thinking about this year's Super Bowl match up, there is only one highly improbable, and probably impossible, scenario that I would enjoy to see unfold. I will describe that scenario here:

On the 49ers first offensive play, Colin Kaepernick drops back to throw a pass. He doesn't see any throw he can make, so he decides to be a piece of shit and run. However, he's forgotten that he's playing against a bunch of criminals, mainly Ray Lewis. Ray Lewis gets to Kaepernick and does something that I cannot describe, but it's absolutely horrible. The hit/tackle/stab or whatever you want to call it on Kaepernick is so horrible that Kaepernick cannot continue to play in the game, which means Alex Smith must come in. But before that happens, 49ers coach, Jim Harbaugh, gets so mad about the hit that he raises his blood pressure so high that his insides explode, something that asshole deserves.

Meanwhile, while Kaepernick is writhing on the ground in pain as punishment for being a punk-ass running QB and Jim Harbaugh is dying, Ray Lewis is getting arrested by the police for his extremely illegal hit on the pansy. Ray Lewis goes to jail, Kaepernick is out of the game, and Harbaugh suffers the consequences for all his yelling and assholeness. Everyone gets what they deserve, in my estimation at least. Then Alex Smith comes into the game and the 49ers blowout the Ravens.

Of course none of this will happen, and yes, it does sound a bit mean. But I would very much like to see a mockery made of this game. Or hear that it turned into a mockery because I'm most likely not going to watch it. I was just beginning to come around on football, too, but as I started to watch the game again, I just find myself finding more reasons to dislike the game of football. I'm going to stick with baseball and soccer, two sports that I can respect. And it's not just football, I don't like basketball either. I have no opinion on hockey other than it is a rip off of soccer played on ice.




I also realize that my scenario for the Super Bowl is mean and obscene, but so is the sport. I also find it comical that a sport based on hitting and tackling people has rules. They should just get rid of the rules and let them all injure each other. And I haven't even mentioned all the great personalities and figures in football that make outstanding role models for young people. Hint, that was sarcasm. Go ahead and call me whatever you want because I like soccer. At least in the foreign soccer leagues if you were to win every game on your schedule you would be league champions...

The Super Bowl sucks, but the temperatures aren't in the 40s in my house anymore! Man, the beginning of last week was miserable with no heat, but that problem is taken care of and Dead Space 3 comes out a week from Tuesday! If was rich and had lots of excess money I would buy one of those machines that lets you record game play footage and make videos of my first play through of Dead Space 3, but I don't so I won't. Just thought I would let you know, though.

I wonder if anyone else feels the same way about football and the structure of American sports.

2013 and My "Job"

Happy new year! I do realize that the new year has been around for about two and a half weeks at this point, but I hope you will take my bidding kindly. I don't make new year's resolutions or any of that crap, but I do have one goal in mind: get a decent job that doesn't make me want to shoot myself in the face. My current temporary job that has lasted six months now is really starting to bore me. When I actually sat around and thought about it, my job is a joke, for lack of a more descriptively captivating piece of the English language. Allow me to describe why my job is easily classified as a joke.

Let me start with how I got this job. I got my temporary employment via an agency. This agency set me up with a few interviews, but apparently the people I interviewed with didn't like the cut of my slacks or something and decided against employing me. The job I eventually got required no interview. That should have been a big red flag in my face. I did think it was very odd at the time and I was very skeptical, but I'm a stupid asshole so I accepted the "assignment" anyways. Also, let me randomly interject about how temporary positions are called "assignments." An assignment sounds like I'm set out to kill a target or something. But anyways, no interview! I could be a huge turd, waste of life, money stealing, woman impersonating, sleazy pedophile, shithead. That's also probably why the position was originally only supposed to last about a month, that and the owner was selling the company. But here I am six months into the temporary position.

My boss, the person who has power over what I ultimately do each day, even told me that when she was looking at my resume she thought I was overqualified for the position and was fearful that I might get bored. All that was on my resume at that point was basically that I graduated from college and worked at a movie theater. Really impressive stuff right there. Well, she wasn't wrong, I'm bored as shit each and every day. My recurring easy tasks don't take much brainpower to complete and I always feel under stimulated.

Another really bad sign is that the people at the local post office know me. Yes, one of my tasks is going to the post office every day, and I've done it long enough that they know me. Essentially my job makes me feel like I work in a copy center. I might have mentioned that in another post, but it is entirely accurate. All I really do now is scan and copy things so other people can see them. I definitely went to college for this! And apparently I've assumed the role of "office manager," something that I never wanted. When we're running low on supplies they tell me, I should start replying "great, tell someone who cares." People always ask me if we have certain things, to which I think "I don't f**king know, I've been scanning shit for the past three hours." I don't take inventory of what office supplies we have because I don't give a shit. That's not a responsibility I think I should have. I guess this is all I deserve since I can't seem to get another job. I don't have an inside connect to any sweet jobs, I didn't have a ridiculously high GPA, and I'm not a huge suck up or involved in twelve million organizations. I'll just go fist myself.

Did I mention I make shit for money, too? There is no way in hell that I could live on my own with this job. I would go broke relatively quickly and possibly end up on the streets smoking crack or something. My job title ends with the word "clerk," never a good sign. I also thought of all these reasons why my job is a joke while at work. So that gives you an abbreviated description on why my main goal for the new year is to find a new job. That has actually been my goal for the past five months or so.

That all sounded really negative, but I'm really excited for 2013! I'm happy 2012 is over, that year unfortunately had a lot of stuff happen that I was not happy about and would like to forget quickly. I did not really enjoy 2012 and I'm relieved that it is now behind me. The last month or two have been great since all my friends who are still in college were back around town for winter break. Now that they've gone back to school, I'll have more time to look for that new job and keep the happy trend going!

I'm also planning on changing the course of this blog, but only slightly. When I say that, I mean that I'm not going to spend much time on telling stories anymore. I think I'm going to focus mainly on my thoughts and ideas which may briefly shed light on a story of mine, but I'm no longer going to have entire posts dedicated to some shit that happened to me. For example, I'm not going to write a post about my New Year's eve celebration. I went into the city and it was a good time, that's all I have to say about that in reality. Posts will follow more closely what you have read in this one, I think my job is a joke, here is why. I really like ideas and opinions, I think they are far more interesting than the stupid stories I have told here in the past. If something noteworthy happens, then I might, but don't get your hopes up, it's my life we're speaking of. My life and noteworthy events usually don't go together.

One other thing, I hate Fun. I would much rather be miserable and loathing everything for every reason you can think of. Or if you are clever you might have noticed that the Fun I don't like has a capital "F." I don't like the band Fun. I have no definitive reason why, I just don't like them. So don't tell me that tonight we're young, you can just eat my asshole. Go listen to Foster the People or something.

Well, I'm done for now. Hope you're having a good start to 2013!