Halloween is Almost Here!

If I were running for any type of political office I would realize nothing but absolute failure. Why? Well, because my political platform would be based on eliminating jobs. My completely unrealistic means of day-to-day living doing whatever you please without the hassles and limitation of money and an economic policy would surely get shot down and get the label "rubbish" within moments of announcement. The mere fact that one of the most sought after statistics for elected officials is job creation proves what Huxley spoke of in Brave New World (a fantastically written book), people are bred to love their servitude. Also, everyone should know that Ra's al Ghul and the League of Shadows created economics to destroy cities.

As I have mentioned before, I pay very little attention for politics and I don't understand why everyone wants to create more work. Should not the goal be less work? If you're doing a math problem and you could either add 4 seventeen times or multiply 4 by seventeen, which would you choose? I surely hope you would choose the latter and multiply the two numbers, because that creates less work. And I'm sorry for calling you Shirley. Apply that principle to a larger scale operation and it makes more sense to limit the number of jobs because it will cut down on payroll costs and most likely be more efficient. Would you rather employ a bunch of people at minimum wage when a machine could do the same job? A machine that will always be on time and never ask for a raise or child support and will only include servicing from time to time. Plus who the f**k wants to work? If I had my choice, I'd rather kill kittens than work.

I was there ten thousand years ago, when man failed. Wait, that's not my line.

So clearly people would laugh at me and call me insulting names because I want to eliminate jobs. On to other matters, like Halloween! Ever closer does this magical time of the year creep. I'm going to comment more times than necessary how this is the time of year when it's okay for everyone to dress like a whore/slut/skank. I just can't get over this concept, it's just so entertaining. So in recognition of whore/slut/whorefest let's look at some more pictures!

Well, hopefully you enjoyed at least one of those pictures. Kudos for the Multi Pass in the penultimate Halloween picture! After reviewing these photos again, I think it's clear that these ladies need to show more skin. Men are generally accused of objectifying women, but don't women play a role in it themselves? Anyway, you know what's a great idea for a song? A song titled Bitches Just Wanna Have Stitches. I would put it to the tune of that song Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Imagine that song with bitches just wanna have stitches in place of girls just want to have fun. Yeah, absolutely amazing. In fact, there should be two versions, the pop version I just modeled in your head and a rap version. I know that bitches rhymes with stitches, witches, pitches, ditches, niches, and hitches, so I am qualified to write the rap version of the song. Also, there would only be one music video, the music/beat would just change depending on which version of the song the video is for. That way you have two kick-ass songs and you save money by making only one video. That's called minimizing your expenses. Can't you tell I went to a business school?

Bitches Just Wanna Have Stitches, you heard it here first. If I have enough money maybe one day I will produce a full-length song and video. But let's be honest, that's not going to happen. I might have money, but there is no chance in hell I'm making that song or video. Or is there? I've also come to the conclusion that people named Neal are strange. That's just my personal experience, but it might be true.

I have another stellar idea! You know those Build-a-Bear stores? Well, I think that brand of store should be expanded. The same company that does Build-a-Bear doesn't have to create these stores, but someone should. The expansion I'm talking about is introducing Roll-a-Joint and Mix-a-Drink. The target audience for these stores would be roughly the same as for Build-a-Bear, just a bit older, for high schoolers. So, it's actually a different target audience. However, we all know that when our little ass-clown children go off to college they're going to smoke weed and drink alcohol. In the wise words of Ali G, you shouldn't deny your children edumacation. So before your little ass-clowns go off to college make sure they know how to roll a joint and for Joe sake make sure they know how to mix a drink. These valuable life lessons will help your little ass-clowns get the full college experience from the first day their undeserving asses set foot on campus. Again, you heard it here first. I know, I'm kind of a genius. If anyone with a ton of money, like venture capitalists or something, want to help me out, I'm down. Just throw some money my way and we can start talking business.

Hey, that's my line

Well, I hope everyone enjoys their slut/skank/whorefest this year! I hope everyone gets some "candy!"