Ups and Downs: The Month of October

Usually the only thing I look forward to in October is playoff baseball, playoff baseball, and playoff baseball. I can't be disappointed, I'm watching playoff baseball right now! I've recently come to like the current Detroit Tigers team. Verlander is an absolute beast who won 24 games this year and had a 2.40 ERA. That's just dirty and he should win the Cy Young award. Not to mention that the guy throws harder as he gets deeper into the game, hitting speeds of 100 miles per hour in the late innings. I'm also amazed at how well Miguel Cabrera can hit despite his suspect off-field antics. Cabrera hit around .560 the last ten days of the season! However, the biggest draw I see to the Tigers right now is Doug Fister.

Doug Fister started the year with the Seattle Mariners, a franchise that has seen much better days. His ERA with the Mariners was 3.33, not bad, but his record was 3-12! I don't know how he managed to not get upset at his teammates for not scoring any runs for him, but he must have been expecting a lack of run support from the Mariners less than stellar offense. Fortunately for Fister, he was traded away to the Detroit Tigers where he absolutely dominated. Fister straight up fisted (if you will) the competition with the Tigers posting an 8-1 record with a miniscule ERA of 1.79. That's Pedro Martinez in his prime shit! If you can't appreciate that turnaround, then screw you. Not only is Fister dominating with the Tigers, but I really like/enjoy his name. Names don't get much better than Doug Fister. He's mister Fister! He shows up to work and puts a shirt on that says "Fister" on the back. I'm even tempted to get a Doug Fister shirt.

In the Mariners hat, double fist!

So Doug Fister is making October great! What's not cool about October: change of season. I don't like the fall or any season where the weather becomes cold or is cold. In fact, I don't really like the change of the seasons at all. I would prefer to live somewhere the weather is always warm. I don't need to see snow and I don't need to see leaves change color and fall all over the ground. Now that I'm thinking of the seasons, I realize that all the seasons I don't like not only are cold and uncomfortable, but also create more work for everyone. In the fall the leaves fall all over the place creating a giant mess that I would rather not deal with. Right now it is that time of year that I look up at the trees and think "you assholes better stay up there," but they never do and I have to drag my ass out and comb the ground with a rake. Sounds like paradise. And if that didn't suck, then winter comes in and throws white, cold shit at us. Now I have to wear forty layers of clothes so I don't get hypothermia and shovel. Then the plows come by and create the Great Wall of China in front of the driveway. Thanks, assholes.

The amazing thing about this particular October is the release of Batman Arkham City! The game comes out in six days! I absolutely (in the words of Barry Feinstein) cannot wait for this game. Fifa 12 came out last month, great game, and now Batman Arkham City is about to come out this month. How am I going to have time to do anything? I'm going to have to do some severe time management so I can learn "strategic terms," reasonably assure that I have completed my work, and write blog entries for school credit and play sweet video games. Or I could just tell all my professors to "go pound sand." #InsideJoke

The big event that occurs in October is Halloween. I remember Halloween as a little, blissful child. Halloween was great, I got to dress up like Batman and Spiderman, but I did that on a regular basis anyways. I never got any candy with razor blades in them either, which is a plus. Overall, Halloween was generally a good night. I remember celebrating Halloween in Brazil. We lived in an apartment complex, a nice one though. It was a gated-in community. My sister and I walked up tons of stairs in buildings to get candy, what a good workout before downing a bunch of candy. The whole event really evened out. Now I'm older and Halloween has a very different feel. Halloween is no longer an innocent trick-or-treat journey. Halloween is all about getting hammered in costume, well at least for most people. Costumes are a big draw here. I think it is hilarious that some people actually get multiple costumes so they can dress up differently each night. Just take a moment to think about that, it's funny.

From my experiences of Halloween, guys try to find costumes that are comical. Guys like to have funny costumes because we tend to look at most things as a joke and want to have a good time. But in reality, no one gives a shit what the guys are wearing. Halloween, for the older crowd, is all about what the girls are wearing. This point is what brings me to my question about Halloween. Here's the thing (#InsideJoke or you know someone that I live with at school), girls get the sluttiest costumes to wear on Halloween. I don't need to explain why this is more important than what guys wear, and if you need it explained to you, I'm not telling. Girls find Halloween costumes that expose their belly, show lots of cleavage, and just show a lot of skin in general. Guys love Halloween because girls dress up like sluts, girls love Halloween because of all the attention they get.

Just because I dress this way, does NOT mean I act that way

So, guys tend to like when girls dress slutty, like they do on Halloween. This is not a reason to commend and celebrate Halloween. Halloween is one weekend every year. That's two, maybe three, and four nights at the most that you get slutty apparel. That's four out of three-hundred and sixty five days on a good year! There are 365 days in the year, and you're only dressing slutty for 1% of them!

Now a bunch of people are going to say some stupid shit like "no way man, some girls dress up like sluts all the time." Yes, some girls do, but those are the ones that have been around the block and have lots of sexually transmitted diseases. Basically, they ARE sluts. I'm talking about the "good girls," the ones who are good students/citizens/suck-ups/a long list of other things. They go out on Halloween with their bellies and tits hanging out, too, with shorts that are shorter than my pencil. Why do you choose Halloween?

While on the subject, everyone should check out Dave Chappelle's take on how women dress. I need not elaborate on the point, watch the video below. Dave Chappelle, in the words of Chase Robertson, "is better at what he does than anyone will ever be at doing what they do." I agree with this statement, but I would include Ronaldo at the top of the list, too. He played forward better than anyone has or ever will. I had to include that because of my undying respect for what Ronaldo accomplished. Anyways, listen to Chappelle.