Summer Job Chronicles: Days Without the Internet (Chapter 1)

On Wednesday June 22, 2011, I went to work expecting a normal monotonous day of work at the local theater. It was to my surprise that the internet at the theater was down and had been so since sometime on Monday. The major concern here: no cards allowed, whether credit or debit. At first I felt a little bad for customers for the inconvenience they faced when they were forced to make the minute trek to the nearby CVS to get money out of the ATM. But as time wore on, I couldn't help but find pleasure in watching the disappointment in these miserable pricks when I told them we could not accept cards. Apparently most people cannot read either as customer after customer failed to notice the sign on the window in front of them that read something about the system not currently working and we were sorry for majorly inconveniencing their lives. Here are some of my favorite reactions, the dialogue might not be exactly right, but it conveys the gist of each situation.

Reaction 1

Customer hands me credit card.
Me: "Sorry, but our credit card system is down. We can only accept cash at the moment."
Customer: "Oh great! Now we're going to be late for the movie." (walks away angrily)
I think to myself about how this wouldn't happen if you didn't show up to buy the tickets at the movie start time.


Reaction 2

Customer hands me credit card.
Me: "Sorry, but our credit card system is down. We can only accept cash right now, sorry for the inconvenience."
Customer: "Yes, this is very INCONVENIENT." (now I have to walk my fat ass all the way to CVS to get paper money, what is the world coming to!)

Reaction 3

Customer hands me credit card (notice the trend here)
Me: "I'm sorry, but our credit card system is down. We can only accept cash right now, sorry for the inconvenience."
Customer: "Really." (with a very surprised expression)
Me: "Yeah, it has been down since Monday."
Customer: "Yeah? YOU should probably FIX that." (what a fantastic idea!)

Reaction 4 (By far the best one I witnessed)

Customer hands me credit card.
Me: "Sorry, but our credit card system is down. We can only accept cash right now, sorry for the inconvenience."
Customer: "You mean I can't use my card?" (as if I can do some voodoo gypsy magic to make his credit card the one exception to all the other credit cards I have denied today)
Me: "No, our credit card system is down."
Customer pulls out twenty dollar bill and hands it to me. He also asks if a manager is around to speak to. As I get his change I tell him my manager is inside.
Me: "Thank you. Your change is $2.50. Enjoy the show."
Customer: (to child) "I'm not sure we'll have enough for a drink now, we'll have to see the prices when we get inside." (I'm thinking about what this guy could be on, what movie theater sells a drink for $2.50. At this point I knew I had to listen in on what happened inside the theater."
Customer: (to me) "We should be able to get in for free if you're not taking credit cards." (yeah man, that makes sense.)

I was able to listen in on the conversation this particular customer had with my manager, and it was classic! He was going on about how no one carried cash on them these days (even though he had a twenty dollar bill to pay for the movie tickets) and that this whole situation was absurd. Did this guy really think that a system heavily dependent on the internet would never experience technical difficulties? He proceeded to get the name of our general manager so he could further press his absolutely pathetic argument. He also went on to ask my manager if he could give us his credit card number and his license number so we could charge the drink to him later. Of course our management did not let this happen. But reflecting on the situation later, we decided we should have taken his card number and taught him a lesson!

So what can I take away from this experience? Apparently absolutely no one carries cash on them, except for the majority of people who originally intended to pay for their tickets with cash. If the credit card system doesn't work, then no one should have to pay for tickets. Walking to the CVS next door is a marathon and most importantly, it is perfectly acceptable to be rude to the bearer of bad news.  Although, I have to say, I'm glad that this happened today because it is just plain funny to see people get riled up over something like this. It is priceless!! I can't wait for someone to tell me I suck again! That was a great experience I had last year when I told these two assholes that The Last Airbender was sold out. They should have been thanking me for saving them from watching a piece of shit movie! But the best part is that this is only the beginning! There are so many more hours to work! So many more assholes to encounter!