Time for a Dive

Cristiano Ronaldo is arguably one of the best soccer players in the world today. However, he continually gets knocked for his tendency to dive and end up on the ground after very little contact. Without a doubt CR7 does dive, but what most people don't understand is why.

CR7 is not a wimp and can take contact just like any other player. He just plays soccer at a level beyond the comprehension of many viewers. With the suggestion of a friend, I have been paying more attention to CR7's matches and watched how he plays. In games where his team is leading by a comfortable margin, you will notice that he does not spend much time on the ground. In close games, I believe the amount of time he spends on the ground exponentially increases. Why? Because this man wants to win games. I do believe that he is a showboat and wants to score as many goals as he possibly can, but the simple matter is that he does want to win. However, there is definitely a correlation between the score and the amount of time that CR7 spends diving and rolling on the ground.

Even if you don't agree with me, CR7 will always look way better in a bathing suit than you anyways.

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Really EA?

I thoroughly enjoy EA sports Fifa soccer franchise, but there are some things about it that endlessly annoy me. Having played Fifa 10 somewhat extensively and now getting a good taste of Fifa 11 I find myself wondering why every time I have possession of the ball there is a guy from the opposing team hauling ass at me in an ridiculous, hell-bent effort to steal the ball from me. I don't know about you, but in the soccer I've watched and played, this is hardly the case. No one has the stamina to relentlessly harass the ball carrier. This pisses me off because it seems so easy for the A.I. players on the other team to steal the ball from me. I also don't understand how Ronaldinho, who plays hardly, if any, defense in real life, can steal the ball from me and I can't steal the ball from anyone with my defenders. Apparently I should be signing Ronaldinho to play lock-down defense for my squad.

I was playing Fifa 11 earlier tonight and I have no idea how players on Real Salt Lake are pulling off spin moves and other skill maneuvers they cannot do. It was all topped off when Findley placed one perfectly in the far upper corner from a mesmerizing angle. First off, Findley has enough trouble putting the ball in the back of an open net, let alone pin-pointing a laser beam shot from the far end of the box.

Playing defense in Fifa is flat out frustrating to me. I hold the "A" button down to relentlessly charge my opponent who has the ball expecting to have the same success that it has against me. Much to my amazement, my opponent is able to hold off not only one defender, but as many as three as he effortlessly strolls down the pitch and puts a perfectly placed shot by my inept goalkeeper. I definitely believe that any person has the ability to run with the ball while using both arms to hold off people attempting to get the ball from them.

I'm convinced that the only reason legendary difficulty is hard is because of how much the game just screws the human player. All deflections go to the computer's team, the A.I. opponent somehow effortlessly walks through any defense, practically all my slide tackles result in cards, and anyone is capable of stealing the ball from me regardless of who I have controlling the ball or who is trying to steal it from me.

I really like the Fifa franchise, but I can't stand some of the game's dynamics because they are in no way like real soccer.

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Guy's a fraud

So the end of the semester is rapidly approaching now and I cannot help but perceive my cost accounting professor as one of the biggest frauds I have encountered thus far in my life. If I was aware that "teaching" was merely sitting at the front of the classroom reading off the answer sheet that is already available to students, then I would have embarked on a journey to be a teacher, let alone a college professor. I can honestly say I have learned absolutely nothing in this class and that I would have been much better off sleeping rather than getting up for this guy's sorry, pathetic excuse for a class at 8 a.m.

Instead of teaching, this guy tells us stories which I'm not sure are even true. Any time your professor claims he used to dunk from the foul line and bench upwards of 300 pounds, you have to be wondering why he isn't a professional athlete. Oh yeah, and the Big Guy (how Mr. Cost Accounting refers to himself) also taught Dr. J everything he knows....... about cost accounting.

We recently had a test in the Big Guy's class. I'm almost certain no one did well on it considering the wonderful direction he gives us in class. However, he was disappointed that only one student in one of his classes knew how to approach a particular problem. He was so disappointed that he told them they should be "shot and hung" for not knowing how to do it. I don't know about you, but I would love being told by a complete fraud that I should be killed for not knowing how to do something he never properly taught in the first place. As a matter of fact, I am positive that he would not be able to do any of the problems he assigns us without the answer sheet. The Big Guy told us the class before the test that if we had any questions we could call him because he would have the answer sheet with him. That made me feel so much better.

The Big Guy always tells us these stories about his wife and daughter, but recently I've come to the conclusion that he doesn't really have a family and he just makes up all these stories. Why, you might ask. I believe he's making up all these stories because I see him eating in the dining hall on a consistent basis everyday. He doesn't teach any classes on Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, but he's still at the dining hall. What family man would be eating dinner at the college dining hall on days he doesn't even need to be at school is beyond me.

I feel sorry for all the accounting majors here that have to suffer through the Big Guy's class. It's a complete waste of time and I can't say that I've learned much of anything in his class. About the only thing I recall him telling us is that you should sell all your operating assets before your statements are due because it will increase your ROI (return on investment) for the statements. Then you should buy the operating assets back the day after you prepare the statements. That's definitely ethical. Good thing I only have three more weeks of the Big Guy...

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