Where Am I Now?

Well, I'd say it's about time for an update on life. In particular, my life, especially since that's the only one I really have a qualified knowledge on. I'm now 23 years old and still alive. That's about it, I'll catch up with you next time here on Sycophantic Laughter. Feel free to stop reading at this point because it's probably not going to get any more interesting for you. I've been out of college for over a year now and I've been working full time since July 17th of the year two-thousand and twelve. I still live at home and I'm below average social status. I live one day to the next and most days seem like the last. Mix that in with a little bit of nothing and you've basically found the recipe for my life.

Apparently I still look young, I was asked last Friday if I was still in high school and one of my coworkers said she had shoes older than me. My youngness is only accentuated when I shave, getting rid of that facial hair makes me look a week or two younger. I haven't committed a felony, but I have been given a twenty dollar speeding ticket. I don't do drugs and I drink more alcohol than I did in college. I eat vegetables but I'm not fond of tomatoes. Potatoes are better than sweet potatoes and I like pop music but I dislike pop culture.

I still work out, but my days as an athlete are most likely numbered. I usually don't remember dreams, but at least I'm not getting chased by giant rats anymore. I don't have a girlfriend, but that seems to be a what lots of people are interested in. My love for the game of soccer has regrown exponentially since sophomore year of college; I'm super excited to see Jose Mourinho back in Premier League next year, right where he wants to be! I really like comedy and many things in life have become one overlapping giant joke to me. I tend to belittle anything I accomplish, but it's all in good humor.

Now I'm going to take a step back and reflect more on one of the things I've said about myself. Often when I see someone I haven't seen for a long time or I'm getting acquainted to new people, such as new coworkers, I'm asked if I have a girlfriend. I don't, but I don't blame any females I've met. Trust me, I probably wouldn't want to date anyone that would want to date a guy like me. I don't know what that means, but it sounds interesting. I also stole that idea from Woody Allen who said he wouldn't want to belong to a club who had a member like him. The same coworker that told me she had shoes older than me asked if I had a girlfriend because she has some daughters she said she would introduce me to. I thought that comment was really funny. Even earlier today when one of our interns came in, she introduced me and said I was available. But if I really wanted that kind of help, I'd just tweet at Kim from the band Matt & Kim. Apparently this is the time of life when people kind of expect you to be involved in some kind of relationship. I'm below average social status, though, so I wouldn't expect anything different from myself. I've given up on a few girls that have given up on me. I'm not keeping my options open or any bullshit like that. It simply hasn't worked out yet. As I see it, I don't know what I'm missing, and they don't know what they're missing, so I'd say it's even.

Kim is a wild woman

And now for something completely different. Can I first point out that I can no longer watch any news broadcast anymore without thinking about Monty Python? The news really is a bunch of randomly put together stories of varying severity and interest that can only be transitioned from one to another with the phrase "and now for something completely different." In this case, the completely different thing is planning a trip to Brazil next summer to go see some of the World Cup! I'm looking to make it happen, so I'll wish myself good luck because no one else should give a damn!

Polypeptide Isn't a Toothpaste

When I first pulled up the "enter your shit blog here" screen, I had no idea how I was going to start. Then I went to Goal.com, a website I check usually on a daily basis. One of the headline articles right now is "Italian Police Raid 18 Serie A Clubs." I find this quite comical because at this point I bank on there being some type of scandal after each season in the Serie A. Normally I would bet on a match-fixing scandal, but this one is about money laundering. The article points out that 18 first division teams are being investigated. There are 20 teams in the first division. I've said enough. It's too bad, really. When I was first getting into soccer in the late 90s, the Italian Serie A was my favorite league. This was mainly because Ronaldo, R9, was playing for Inter at the time. But the league used to be very good back then. It has kind of gone to shit since then. Oh well, I won't lose any sleep over it, and I'll continue banking on a scandal each summer. I'd even bet on it if I were a betting man.

Anyways, a word which is my favorite transition since I don't usually have a coherent blog structure, I can't believe it has been over eleven months since I've been working full time now. By sometime in mid July I'll have been working for an entire year. I think I've mentioned this before, but everything seems backwards to me.When I was young and had all the time in the world to do anything I didn't have money or mode of transportation. Now that I'm older and have money I barely have any time to do anything. Of course this is probably true for most people, but it really sucks. I want to go places and enjoy different cultures. That's what I'd like to do. And I think I will, once I have some vacation time built up. That way I'll have something to look forward to!

It's going to suck! And Ibra isn't in it anymore.

You know what I've noticed? As I've gotten older, I can't really say there are any people that I hate. All the things that have happened in my life have culminated to make me a bit apathetic. I could take it or leave it in most cases. I'm still fascinated by other personalities, too. There are some people who are just straight up bitches. It's not even their fault, it's just the way they are. Their tone is bitchy, they're always complaining, and they make it sound like everything is so much of a damn inconvenience on them. This kind of personality used to bother me, but I don't really give a shit any more. I don't even give a shit when angry customers are yelling at me on the phone at work. I understand where they're coming from and most of the time I can do very little to alleviate their frustration, so f*ck it, let them yell at me. When I was younger I used to get out of control when I got angry at things, but I've calmed down considerably. Only a few of my very good, closest friends have seen me get truly angry, and at those times I used to break things, put holes in my wall, and sometimes hurt myself. I've since patched all the holes in my wall and I haven't made another one since! Mostly because I don't give a shit anymore.

I'll admit I'm beginning to get a little restless, most days tend to feel relatively the same. I think I know what Trent Reznor meant when he penned the song "Everyday is Exactly the Same," for his band, Nine Inch Nails. I know there's more out there, I just need to do my time to make it to that point. Just like I did my time at a temporary job before getting a real one. Random interjection, I found out how much money the company I work for paid the temporary agency I used to work for to obtain my services. However, I will not disclose the amount here, but I know!

Well, it's about that time again. Time for me to cease this limited nonsense. Maybe I'll spark the motivation to write a longer post sometime, but that time is not now.