The best way I can describe the place I've worked since the beginning of 2013, I'd describe it as a horrible place that creates tortured souls. From the exterior it's a growing company in a growing industry, but what can't be seen is how terribly bad things are internally. To the best of my knowledge, I don't know anyone who is truly happy there, but at the same time it does sound illogical to leave a company trending upward. What it came down to for me was quite simple, the painstaking daily responsibilities handed to me far outweighed the nonexistent positives of the role. I found myself hating every waking moment and hating myself for every day I let go by that I didn't quit. By the 24th of April, I met my breaking point, I just couldn't take it any more and finally quit. I knew it was getting really bad that week because I had only been to work three days that week and I was still insanely angry about everything that was my job.
My anger and disgust boiled over to the point where I didn't care what the company was, how much it was growing, or about anything, just that I knew it was time for me to leave before something bad happened. My job isn't worth my mental sanity. Now you're probably wondering what was so terrible about my job, so a good place to begin is my personality. I'm not one to verbally fight with people, in fact I hate it and I get frustrated very easily when I'm personally hung out to dry. My role with this soul torturing company evolved into primarily collections. Basically I've been spending the last two years telling people that they owe us money from obscenely long times ago, some dating back as much as two years. Then of course there's no way this can be right and I, let me repeat that, I am responsible for the mess. I can only take so much of that before I want to break my phone and everything else at my desk. I'm sure the people who sat in the cubicles near me must have thought I was crazy from all the swearing under my breath and whatever other things I did while I was being tortured daily on the phone. Oh and did I mention that I was the only person to deal with any issue that involved money? Cue 100% of phone calls that had to do with invoicing, account balances, payments, I need someone to yell at, coming to me and me alone. I stopped answering my phone on incoming calls because let's be serious, I don't give a shit about these people's problems. I was basically a secretary for myself. Sometimes when I'd get back to my desk after lunch, I'd have 10 missed calls. I don't think I should have 10 calls in a week, never mind an hour. Basically my role evolved into a collections/customer service job. If I wanted to answer customer phone calls, I would have interviewed for a customer service role.
I figured as time went on things would get better, but a year and a half later and it's the same shit. My position was a newly created role, and to put it kindly, what the company has found it needs is not at all what I want to do. Frankly the job sucks and has been the worst experience of my short life. I won't ever be able to look back fondly on my time there, it has been marred by the years of horrible experiences my anger.I'm so full of hate toward that place that you could call me Anakin Skywalker. Another way to describe the job is an abusive relationship. The benefits of the job are the salary, but man does it beat the shit out of you on a daily basis. Why do I keep going back when all it does is abuse me?
The best way for me to relate/rationalize things is in baseball terms. To sum everything up, I feel like 2008 Manny Ramirez. I'm disgruntled and I'm ready to force a move away from the Boston area. I've taken the next step and left my job so now all that's left is to see where I end up. Hint: Manny went to Los Angeles, that sounds nice.
