"Roller Coaster Rides" Are Cliche

The past six months have been like nothing I have ever experienced before. Such a random, interesting, yet sometimes boring, ride. In the course of those six months I have graduated from college, garnered a temporary job, been told by two girls that they are seeing someone, thought I had a chance to land a sweet job, considered daily continuing my track career, and have been ignored by most of the job postings I've applied to. I can't say that I'll have many chances to have a run like that again in just six months time! Oh yeah, I also penned my favorite article to this point for PRP, go check it out here!

However, before I get into any of the aforementioned things, I have come to another realization that most likely matters only to me. For some reason there have been a plethora of assassin bugs around and in my house since I came back from school. I find assassin bugs comical because of their lethargic movement. These guys/gals/don't really know how to classify them by gender, but I guess I use the word guy as a generic term for both anyway so it doesn't really matter, take their time moving anywhere despite having wings. They could fly, but they choose to walk what seems like less than a millimeter per second to wherever it is that they are headed. Anyways, the realization that occurred to me is that assassin bugs, if insect/arachnids/critters did drugs, would definitely be the stoners of the insect/arachnid/critter world. They already tackle everyday life like they're stoned out of their little minds now.

I'll just take my time

Well that was fun, not really though. Back to what I opened with, a strange half of a year. Honestly I don't really know what to make of it. Some good things have happened, some not so good things have happened, and some things that I'm rather indifferent about have happened. The job search has been a bit tedious. I am ready to move on to a role with more responsibility, but the issue is that I am currently locked up in what I cal the Fat Bastard Dilemma. If you have not seen Austin Powers, or you have just forgotten, Fat Bastard eats because he is sad, and he is sad because he eats. In my situation I can't get a good job because I lack experience, and I can't get experience because I can't get a better job. That is the essence of the Fat Bastard Dilemma. I'm sure that most people who read this can relate to this dilemma personally. So in searching for a job, all the people hiring are looking for people who have years of experience, but I'm nor sure where I fit in since I have recently graduated and have very little experience. I can't complain too much about where I am because at least I have a job and have a steady income, for now at least. But I really am at the point where I need something with more substance and more responsibility. I'm ready to move on.

On to the other more random thing that happened earlier today. I had plans to hang with a lady friend later on this week. Not a big deal, just a friendly thing. However, today she told me she could no longer hangout because she was seeing someone. My thought/response to this is simple: ok. Simple and enough said. I see where she's coming from, but it was so random and abrupt. This is the second time something like this has happened in the past six months, but this one doesn't really bother me much. I actually feel a bit relieved, although that might sound bad, it certainly is true. The randomness of the whole situation caught me by surprise, and I really enjoy/like random! Apathy has one in this instance though, so don't expect any bitching from me! Not now at least, you can go back and read my post from the other time that happened if you want sentimental shit. I'm actually kind of excited. All this thinking about how life is going to shape up hasn't really gone anywhere yet. There's so much room for experimenting and new beginnings!

I kind of like not knowing what's going to happen next in the grand scheme of things. I could be working below my means for a really long time! Or maybe I'll finally get a job that is both challenging and joyful. Who knows! I'm even considering voting for this election. I'll probably have to flip a coin for each vote I cast though, but I'll be serving my country diligently while doing so. I don't really have anything else to say right now. So I'll keep this short, but I did want to give my faithful readers an update, so you are very welcome. Until next time... also be champions, it's been far too long since I've tried instilling that everyone's mind.

Halloween is Almost Here!

If I were running for any type of political office I would realize nothing but absolute failure. Why? Well, because my political platform would be based on eliminating jobs. My completely unrealistic means of day-to-day living doing whatever you please without the hassles and limitation of money and an economic policy would surely get shot down and get the label "rubbish" within moments of announcement. The mere fact that one of the most sought after statistics for elected officials is job creation proves what Huxley spoke of in Brave New World (a fantastically written book), people are bred to love their servitude. Also, everyone should know that Ra's al Ghul and the League of Shadows created economics to destroy cities.

As I have mentioned before, I pay very little attention for politics and I don't understand why everyone wants to create more work. Should not the goal be less work? If you're doing a math problem and you could either add 4 seventeen times or multiply 4 by seventeen, which would you choose? I surely hope you would choose the latter and multiply the two numbers, because that creates less work. And I'm sorry for calling you Shirley. Apply that principle to a larger scale operation and it makes more sense to limit the number of jobs because it will cut down on payroll costs and most likely be more efficient. Would you rather employ a bunch of people at minimum wage when a machine could do the same job? A machine that will always be on time and never ask for a raise or child support and will only include servicing from time to time. Plus who the f**k wants to work? If I had my choice, I'd rather kill kittens than work.

I was there ten thousand years ago, when man failed. Wait, that's not my line.

So clearly people would laugh at me and call me insulting names because I want to eliminate jobs. On to other matters, like Halloween! Ever closer does this magical time of the year creep. I'm going to comment more times than necessary how this is the time of year when it's okay for everyone to dress like a whore/slut/skank. I just can't get over this concept, it's just so entertaining. So in recognition of whore/slut/whorefest let's look at some more pictures!

Well, hopefully you enjoyed at least one of those pictures. Kudos for the Multi Pass in the penultimate Halloween picture! After reviewing these photos again, I think it's clear that these ladies need to show more skin. Men are generally accused of objectifying women, but don't women play a role in it themselves? Anyway, you know what's a great idea for a song? A song titled Bitches Just Wanna Have Stitches. I would put it to the tune of that song Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Imagine that song with bitches just wanna have stitches in place of girls just want to have fun. Yeah, absolutely amazing. In fact, there should be two versions, the pop version I just modeled in your head and a rap version. I know that bitches rhymes with stitches, witches, pitches, ditches, niches, and hitches, so I am qualified to write the rap version of the song. Also, there would only be one music video, the music/beat would just change depending on which version of the song the video is for. That way you have two kick-ass songs and you save money by making only one video. That's called minimizing your expenses. Can't you tell I went to a business school?

Bitches Just Wanna Have Stitches, you heard it here first. If I have enough money maybe one day I will produce a full-length song and video. But let's be honest, that's not going to happen. I might have money, but there is no chance in hell I'm making that song or video. Or is there? I've also come to the conclusion that people named Neal are strange. That's just my personal experience, but it might be true.

I have another stellar idea! You know those Build-a-Bear stores? Well, I think that brand of store should be expanded. The same company that does Build-a-Bear doesn't have to create these stores, but someone should. The expansion I'm talking about is introducing Roll-a-Joint and Mix-a-Drink. The target audience for these stores would be roughly the same as for Build-a-Bear, just a bit older, for high schoolers. So, it's actually a different target audience. However, we all know that when our little ass-clown children go off to college they're going to smoke weed and drink alcohol. In the wise words of Ali G, you shouldn't deny your children edumacation. So before your little ass-clowns go off to college make sure they know how to roll a joint and for Joe sake make sure they know how to mix a drink. These valuable life lessons will help your little ass-clowns get the full college experience from the first day their undeserving asses set foot on campus. Again, you heard it here first. I know, I'm kind of a genius. If anyone with a ton of money, like venture capitalists or something, want to help me out, I'm down. Just throw some money my way and we can start talking business.

Hey, that's my line

Well, I hope everyone enjoys their slut/skank/whorefest this year! I hope everyone gets some "candy!"

Time for Some "Candy"

Politics is one thing that I sure as hell don't pay much attention to, if any at all. Therefore anything I have to say about politics can immediately be discredited and labeled as absolute garbage, unless I happen to make a good point. I tend to agree with the people who just think that all politicians are straight up scumbags. There probably are exceptions, but for the most part I would agree that they are major scumbags. Despite my severely limited knowledge of anything political, I would have my day and possibly much more made if during a campaign speech Obama declared that he was counting on white guilt to get the edge over his opponent, Mitt Romney. Or if Mitt Romney said that if he was elected President our country would no longer be led by a negro. That's about all I have to say about politicians and politics. Pardon my ignorance as well, I just find the idea amusing.

White guilt, to me, has always been an interesting concept since I first learned of it junior year of high school in one incredible man's class. Shout out to Vocabro, too (consider this me hollaring at you, bro) #insidejoke. #PeopleDoKnowHowToUseTwitterEvenIfTheyDoNotUtilizeHashTags. I don't think white guilt exists over white people as a whole, but rather over certain white people. Those who are racists I don't believe have any white guilt and would therefore not give an advantage to anyone just because their skin color is black. I don't even know why I'm discussing this right now, so I'm going to stop instead of debating with myself. I'll let the experts debate topics like white guilt. What I want to talk about is much more fun and interesting to me: October! But before I delve into the terribly interesting month that is October, one more thing about politics. As I have already stated I hardly pay much attention to politics in general. An excruciatingly large contributor to my apathetic viewpoint on politics is the way candidates go about election runs. Practically all election runs are negative and aimed at bashing the opponent.

Negative campaign ads are sickening. Basically what they say is this: Look at all this bad shit this person has done that I have not done nor ever will. I'm so and so and I approve this message so vote for me or you'll be living in hell for the next four years. Maybe the other candidate did those things because it's fun to do bad things and they just want to do hoodrat things with their friends (their fellow party members or whoever they work with). Maybe they take the Latarian Milton path. I don't think I could ever be a politician because I don't like talking shit to people or calling them out right in front of their faces. I'd much rather just talk shit about them behind their back, it creates less problems. If I told people what I really thought of them, then I would have a lot less friends. Actually, that's not true, I would still have the same amount of friends, rather I would have less of those on the bubble acquaintance people. Those people that you have conversation with but don't really hang out with much or at all. I would have a lot less of those people on good terms with me, and maybe a few less friends on second thoughts. Politicians, at least to me, just come off as fairly large scumbags who are really just suck-ups, and whoever can suck-up to the most people will win.

Now let's talk about October! I wrote a post about one year ago, in the midst of a very strange last year of undergraduate college, about October which you can read, if you would like, by clicking here. I don't know if you can tell, but part about Halloween that I wrote in that post was completely sarcastic and joke, but take it any way you want. First, let's talk about the baseball playoffs though! They're back! While I'm not a fan of the playoff system used in American sports, I do really enjoy the baseball playoffs and most of the excitement, to me, lies within the same team as last year, the Detroit Tigers. However this time it's not Doug Fister, though I really hope he can turn it around and have a dominant post season. I'm uber-excited about Miguel Cabrera winning the Triple Crown! That might not happen again in my lifetime and it is a truly awesome achievement! I think Chase was correct when he pointed out that Miguel Cabrera is kind of like Manny, and I really like Manny (Ramirez)! I'm hoping that Cincinnati, Detroit, or Washington wins the World Series, that would be a nice change. For some reason I'm not liking the teams from the AL this year, but I don't hate the Yankees despite calling myself a Red Sox fan. That reminds me, I'm working on a post about my sports fanhood because I think I have a truly unique fanhood, one not seen very often.

Postseason baseball sure makes October a thrilling month, the only other good thing about October is Halloween. Halloween is actually a nice name for slut-fest and it's almost time for slut-fest '12! I don't know why the vast majority of girls like to dress up like sluts during Halloween, but who am I to stop them. It might only be for a couple nights during the year (only for some of them), but it's that magical weekend when they all wear clothing exposing bellies, showing lots of leg, and lots of cleavage. It's a prevert's heaven! You'll be able to find me out in the bushes somewhere on Halloween weekend killing kittens. I don't know if people get my sarcasm, but I could care less #IWillNotBeInTheBushesOnHalloweenNight.

Just because we dress this way does not mean we act that way

Halloween isn't even anything. It's not a holiday, it's just some random day that people have grown accustomed to dressing up on and has amazingly evolved into a slut/whore-fest. At least it certainly looks like one. I find that thought absolutely entertaining. It's not easy to instill the "I have to look like a sexy slut tonight" mindset in millions of girls spanning what I would imagine is the globe. It's an interesting phenomenon. I haven't dressed up for Halloween in years, but I'm not going to say that it will never happen again. The only question is what to dress up as? This year it might be time to go trick-or-treating for some "candy."

Princess lay her?

At this point you probably think I'm a disgusting pig and I will do nothing to change your mind if you think so. Rather I'll leave you with this picture commemorating the passing of yet another #Classico.

But did your team win, Ibra? No, they didn't.

Setting the Record Straight

Accidentally I have created a monstrosity that could potentially turn into a real atrocity. Allow me to set the record straight and avoid a dreadful (not really) fate. I like to have fun, especially through horrible pun, but I don't like to excessively drink, rather I prefer to incessantly think. However, what I say could get misconstrued in a confusing way. Alcohol is not so bad, though in the past it has driven me mad. I admit I was wrong, but I still wouldn't touch a bong. In fact I would rather whack my dong. A strict alcohol policy I followed left me with memories hollowed. I must say I'm beginning to come around, but you'll never find me passed out on the ground. I don't believe it's too late, I've always been on the late bloomer slate.

I can say the same for a certain book, though I don't believe it deserves the obscene amount of looks. I don't hate because I'm overly irate. I guess I'm just a little old fashioned, I'd rather get the info from the source with all the passion (or lack thereof). It's not all bad, it just feels like a terribly long lasting fad. Can't we all communicate face to face instead of in cyber space?

I'm penning this piece to set the record straight and lift the figurative massive weight. Fun is measured in many different ways, only depending on how the mind sways. No longer is alcohol something I'm against, certainly it can be a worthy expense (cost to have fun?). However, I have no intentions of getting belligerent, that would just be ignant (said like Michael Jackson in South Park). So cheers to my peers.

P.S.
I didn't intentionally make this rhyme, do you think I have that kind of time?

P.S.S.
In case you were confused by the rhyme scheme (if that's even what you would call it) in the beginning of this post, what I'm saying is that it's ok to drink some alcohol. I'm not totally against it like I was in the past. The same is true about online social networking. It's not that bad, basically it's just that the people who are annoying as f**k in real life are just as annoying online. I think that's an easy enough concept. As for the alcohol part, there's nothing wrong with having some adult beverages. What I don't understand is having so much that it negatively affects the person drinking it. That sounds terrible to me. Now that I've got all that off my chest, I'm going to go get f**ked up, so I'll catch you later!

A few hours later...

I didn't really go anywhere or drink anything. Just in case you were wondering.

This Should Not Get Posted

September is not typically the month when you think of what you're thankful for. Usually that crap happens during the holidays, like Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I can't wait that long. I get impatient sometimes. One of the things I'm most thankful for is political correctness. I'm really glad political correctness is around because I like politically incorrect things. Without political correctness, politically incorrect statements or ideas would not be funny, so I kindly thank the people who made political correctness possible. I just think it's way too much fun to see a black person in a car and say something about how he or she must have stolen it. Now I don't actually think that, at least not most of the time, but it sure is funny! I also find this joke incredibly amusing:

Q: What do you call a black transformer?
A: Optimus Crime

Political correctness just opens up a whole world of funny. Basically, I mean that anything that isn't "publicly acceptable" is hilarious. I really enjoy exploiting stereotypes for my own amusement, and sometimes for the amusement of others. I'm no racist, but seriously, this stuff is funny, and anyone who can't appreciate politically incorrect jokes should lighten up a bit and remove the stick that is embedded deep into their asshole. Just because a lot of convenient stores are run by Indians offering you a Slurpee does not mean that all Indians work at convenient stores. Nor does it mean that they all smell like curry. Well, actually, that one might be true.




Not every German is a Nazi, in fact, I don't think many people still associate with that party. But c'mon, if I hear some random people speaking in German, I'm going to say that they must be forming a Nazi plan. And then they'll tell me that they are planning a hike or something. It's all in good fun, though. If you ever find yourself in a position thinking "oh, I (he or she) can't say that," then you know what I'm talking about. And what about drivers? Who's worse, old people or Asians? The stuck up assholes devoutly against this type of comedy ironically (I think this is the correct use of the word, but feel free to badger me if I'm incorrect) allow political incorrectness to exist. If no one was so offended by it, or wanted to stop it all together, then I don't see how it would still be hilarious. Also, stereotypes exist for a reason, because they are usually true. There are exceptions, as with most rules, so stereotypes have exceptions, but on a large scale are true. Women and Asians are both not very good drivers. From personal experience I can say that any time I'm driving and I have a "holy shit, what the f**k is that guy doing" reaction, the instigator of that reaction is almost always a woman. No offense intended, but you can get mad at me if you want, I might feel bad momentarily.

I can't get enough of this one

We're all aware that not everyone who wears a turban is a terrorist, and implying so is not funny. Psych! Yes, it is funny. And so is making fun of overwhelming airport security because of the whole terrorist thing. Just check anyone with a turban, right? I really like do enjoy this politically incorrect stuff. For being incorrect, it sure seems like the right answer all the time to me. I remember back in high school when I was meeting new people some of them would ask me if I'm Puerto Rican. I got a big kick out of that. Luckily I tan instead of getting red as a lobster, so when it heats up I sometimes look, well, I guess Puerto Rican. That could also be because a large number of people at my high school were Puerto Rican. I like to think of myself as looking like a mix of Portuguese and Italian, since that is what I am, but mostly Portuguese. People are always asking me what my heritage is because of my skin complexion. I always put on applications and surveys that I'm white, but I might look a tad bit like a minority. I kind of like the confusion, and I love my complexion!

The other side of political incorrectness is just as funny. I'm talking about the people I briefly mentioned before, the ones devoutly against saying these so-called "incorrect" phrases. Do these people know what a joke is? They're probably the same people that are making it illegal to buy certain size fizzy drinks in New York. That will keep the fat away! I can't imagine seriously going to the media and talking about how so-and-so crossed the line when they said something about their suspicions that their black coworker stole their wallet. That same person probably thinks Ahkmed is a terrorist because they overheard him saying "herka durka" on the phone. However, it is entirely necessary that these people continue voicing their opinions so I can laugh at allegedly racist commercials. Of course it is entirely true that there are racist commercials, or they could be poking fun at stereotypes, which as mentioned before, exist because they are usually accurate.



Sometimes I say things that sound offensive, but I'm just kidding... usually. I even used to have a black friend... until my father sold him. If you can't detect the joking nature of that last statement, then I feel sorry for you. I in fact do have black, white, and Asian friends. I might not have a lot in two of those categories, but I do have some. You can accuse me of racism and stereotyping, but I'll say it's because I is black.

I probably shouldn't publish this post because of it's "incorrectness," but where's the fun in that? Besides, most of the people that would be offended by this can't read anyway, right? As I see it, I'm golden. Why stand on a silent platform? Fight the war, f**k the norm. Yes, those are Rage Against the Machine (RATM) lyrics. But I offer Zack de la Rocha my apologies because his people's use is very limited outside of performing yard work and other menial tasks for incredibly low wages. At least in the United States of course. See how I took what I was referencing and made it politically incorrect? If anything, at least we know the Thought Police don't exist, not yet, since I was able to write this whole post and now publish it.

Did I mention I'm thankful to live in a predominantly white neighborhood?

Sarcasm: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Job Search

Almost exactly one month ago I applied for a job that I would have really liked to have. The position was for a junior accountant (I was an accounting major if you don't know) at this sweet gym/club place in the city! The place had it all, a gym, personal trainers, exercise rooms/classes, racquetball courts, a spa, a restaurant, and a bar! And it's location was conveniently near a train stop. I managed to get a phone interview for this position which went quite well, or at least I thought it went well. At the end of the conversation I was told that on site interviews would be held the following week and they would call me regarding these interviews. So I was excited about the prospect of having a chance to get a job at a company that focuses on athletics, something I am very much into. I also thought that this would be a great step toward potentially continuing my  track career since I would have access to such an excellent facility and maybe even move to a spot closer by to where all the action is.

I was looking forward to the phone call all weekend and waited with great anticipation for my phone to ring while I was at work. Monday passed and nothing happened. Then Tuesday passed and nothing happened. Then Wednesday came and I thought that surely this has to be the day, but still nothing happened. Thursday and Friday passed without any word and I thought that maybe there had been some unforeseen business that week that caused a delay, so maybe they'll get back to me the next week. Well now it's a month later and I still have heard nothing. I probably should have made an effort to get in contact with the company myself, but for some reason that thought didn't cross my mind at the time. The phone interview had gone so well that I really thought they were going to have me come down. Maybe they were just being nice to me and actually deleted all my information right after the interview. If that's the case, then I'd rather they just tell me they're not going to interview me. Or at least tell me that if I don't hear back from them by a certain date that they aren't interested.

Other than that I haven't really found or applied to any jobs that I would really like to have. The false hope from that one particular job was shitty. Since I've graduated, I've applied to 28 jobs and I've heard back from 3, so not much has changed in that department. I get random emails and phone calls every once in a while from recruiters and companies about positions that I don't want. That's right Aflac, stop sending me emails about sales positions, I don't want to do that. I still think there's something wrong with the structure of work and getting a job out of college. So many undeserving pricks get set up with good jobs out of college that in my opinion, they don't deserve. I'm going to stop right there though instead of going on a humongous rant about how much some f**kin people really piss me off.

I've been saying it for years now, either since high school or at the very least since freshman year of college, I want to be in a position where I can make people suck my dick if I want to. I'm finally out of the academic prison that is college, where it is very possible that the curriculum is a cell block (Thanks RATM! And of course Mr. de la Rocha!), and now it's time to do it the real way. Make like Jack Donaghy and work your way to the top.

Also, I would like to point out that I was wrong back in late January/early February. In that post I mentioned that senior year was trending to be the best year of college, but it was not. Far from it, actually. Besides some people I met that I really liked, senior year blew. Before you judge me for being a negative bastard, let me explain myself. I did not enjoy my living situation, actually, that almost sums it up perfectly. I don't mind the people I lived with, but I had very, very little in common with them. So going back to my house was nothing to look forward too. As a result I spent most of the time there unhappy. I was hoping that out of all that shit I would at least get a good job, but that still hasn't happened yet.

You know what I think is an interesting concept? No one needs a college degree to do anything, you only need one because that's the way society has decided to do things. What do you think came first, the doctor or education? The accountant or education? The business man or education? Go ahead and make your own (like the butt doctor and education). Maybe one day you'll have to go to school to learn how to breathe. Outside of all the education, practice, theory, and plain bull shit, I just think there is something more important. Also, who the f**ck are these people to tell me I'm not good enough to do the job? I'm going to think of them as Karim Garcia.




Don't get me wrong, I don't think that I'm better than everyone else, I know I'm better than everyone else. There's a difference. Serious: that statement was sarcastic. Sarcastic: the readers definitely knew that. End Elcor speak here. I think I'll just take this all in stride. Time for positiveness! I'm going to wait for that phone call, it's only been a month, maybe it will come tomorrow! I have far too many gripes with just about everything, but at least they're usually dealing with the same old shit. I'm just not satisfied yet...

10 Spot for the World Record

First and foremost, I would like to give a big up to Aries Merritt for breaking the world record in the 110 meter high hurdles this past Friday in Brussels! The guy ran a 12.80! Absolutely insane! Not to mention the fastest time in the event ever, in the history of anything. Merritt has garnered massive respek with me (unfortunately the word respek has been removed from the dictionary). A gold medal at the Olympics and a world record, what a way to end the 2012 outdoor season. I hope he continues to get better in the years to come, so exciting to think what he could do next! I want to see the indoor hurdle record fall!




I'm a big supporter of track, partly because of the lack of recognition the sport gets, but mainly because I'm a runner myself and the sport has done a wonderful amount for me in my life. Track has been one of those unexpected surprises in my life. I never thought that I would find success in the sport or that it would have such a large impact on my life. The lack of attention the sport gets is absolutely absurd though, and it bothers the piss out of me sometimes. As I mentioned in my post on Penultimate Round Pick (check out our sports blog here!), Sportscenter put Merritt's world record setting performance number 10 on its top ten plays. Those guy's kiddin'? The fact that they put Merritt's performance number 10 is going to bother me for some time, if not forever, it's just one of those things that pisses me off. I don't like to be a bitter asshole, but sometimes, actually all the time that I'm bitter is the direct result of other people's stupidity or things that I cannot control.

Most of the things that bother and piss me off are the small things. Maybe I shouldn't sweat the small stuff, but I do. However, Merritt's snubbing is not a small matter, the guy broke a world record for Joe's sake! The small stuff I'm referring to for example are things like the backspace button on the our former keyboards at work. Holy shit were those backspace buttons way too small! Whenever I made an error and went to hit the backspace key to remove it from existence I would miss and hit the other keys near it and make an even bigger mistake! Now I would have to hold down the tiny backspace button for even longer to correct my latest, larger f**k up. Thank Joe we got new equipment including keyboards that have proper size backspace keys. Maybe they used to make the backspace key smaller to encourage people to make fewer mistakes. Or so that they could make people suffer for making mistakes, those bastards! They probably killed Kenny, too.

Flies are another thing that are extremely annoying. I'm almost 100% positive that two flies landed on my shoulder that were doing it. They were definitely getting busy, I've never seen a fly on top of another doing scandalous things that I will not mention here. I love all of nature's creatures, that's why I love to kill 'em, but I couldn't this time. I could only merely shew them away. I also wish I could come up with my own funny phrases instead of stealing other people's great work. I do thank you, Monty Python. Now you probably expect me to say that I came to kick ass and chew bubble gum, but in fact I have not, but I do believe that we sleep while they live. Merging is another little thing that bothers me. I have probably already mentioned this about 4 times, but so many people are terrible at merging onto the highway.  Some people unnecessarily (I finally spelled that word right on the first try!) slow down when no one is coming, and sometimes even come to a complete stop! Although, I have to admit that getting on the highway from a dead stop is extremely fun! There are many complaints about driving, and even stopping, like how people don't know how to park.

I've actually strayed quite far away from the point that I was going to make, but I'm not surprised, this is where my scattered thoughts have lead me. I did mention my point earlier though. By nature I take life in stride and I'm generally happy and believe it or not, I think that most people are actually this way. But damn are there some things that just piss people off, and usually rightfully so. I'm not going to go into specifics and I'll just end there.

A great thing that's right around the corner is Fifa 13! I don't really play video games much anymore, but I can find some time to play the latest installment or a legendary franchise. Ultimate team is also one of the greatest sports video game innovations ever, too, so I will definitely want to do some of that. The Fifa 13 demo was just released today and I have to say that I liked the tuning they have done from the game play. The game actually made me realize that there is a difference among players, some actually seemed better than others in terms of controlling the ball. I think this will make for more balanced game play and make it less about pure pace. The defensive control was also much better, I could actually steal the ball away from high and low profile opposition!

This is one of my all time favorites! And I have Apple products.

I'm also excited because I was contacted by a former teammate of mine who is still running track now asking how I am doing if I have any plans on continuing my track career. He mentioned joining the club that he belongs to as a potential opportunity. I have mentioned that I don't think I'm quite done yet. I would like to have the chance to compete competitively while I still can and as of right now, I feel great physically! Enough about me, let's speak about you. Oh yeah, no one reads this, so never mind, I'll just continue going on and on about things that maybe two other people will read, three if I'm lucky. I think I lost one of my readers from all my social network bashing, but I'm straying away from that and I'll let her know. I'm going to focus on my take on certain experiences, completely biased views on sports, the occasional rant, and my stupid thoughts. When am I going to finish that post about life and Mario Party? I think I started that on December 5, 2011 or something. I was banging that shit out, but then I had to "study" for finals.

I just asked myself a question in my own blog. I'm going to end there, but I will leave you with this:

Damn, Grandma was Hot!

Online social networking currently holds my generation, and many others now, in an extremely tight brace. Most have a profile on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Google+, Tumblr, and Pinterest (whatever that is), or some combination of the aforementioned. There's even a social networking site for "professionals," LinkedIn. With all these different mediums of social networking, I sometimes wonder how people decide which on to update. Do you update your status or post a tweet? Some people solve this problem by linking their Twitter account to their Facebook, so their tweet is essentially a status update. Ever since high school I have been growing up in the online social networking world and there are some interesting aspects to the development of social networks over that time period and what the future holds for them.

The first subject I want to address is Twitter. I don't like when people say that Twitter is stupid and unnecessary ( I don't like the word necessary either, why is it so hard to type?). I would actually go as far to say that Twitter was a brilliant idea. Twitter took one of the most popular features of online social networking, Facebook's status update, and built another social networking site out of it. Twitter is basically a series of status updates, no bullshit, just updates. Twitter can also be used as a great source for information about topics of personal interest, which is mainly what I use it for.

Hi friends!

 Twitter allows users to get information quickly and read more in depth if the user desires or can be used to see what your friends are up to, that is, if you have friends. Therefore, Twitter is not a stupid or bad idea, it just has a much simpler interface with less options. Recently Facebook went through another makeover and now is a "timeline" of users' lives. I think the Facebook people did this because they recognize that if the website didn't become something that encompassed users lives as a whole then the site would eventually lose popularity and end up like MySpace, a has been in the social networking world. However, increasing the longevity of social networking sites really makes me think about the role these sites will play in the future. Right now I would find it very strange if my grandmother had a Facebook profile, but in the future, if everything goes in Facebook's favor, grandmother's will have Facebook profiles. Imagine looking at pictures of your grandmother when she was in her teens and as a college student? You might sit there and think "damn, grandma was hot!" It's f**king weird. I don't know if it's a bad thing, but it sure is weird. There's another picture of grandma taking a shot of tequila. Oh, and here's a status update about her locking her keys in her room or something, one of those things that you should keep to yourself.

Now let's change perspectives, what about your grandfather? Here's your grandfather in college, he's participating in Edward 40-hands and there's a picture of him with the girl he was banging years before he met your mother. I really wonder what role social networks will have in the future. I could be wrong, but I honestly think social networks are going to create very different upbringings for the future generations. I don't think anyone's parents tell their children as much about their youth as social networks do. I realize there are privacy settings, but I'm not sold that these measures will keep future generations from looking back on their parents' youth. As a recent graduate of college I am well aware of the pictures that people post on Facebook and the information that is disclosed in social networking sites through posts and status updates. My main question and point of interest is how will online social networks be used in the future and what impact will that have on future generations? I don't know the answer to this question, nobody does, but I am sure interested to see what happens.

I've mentioned my dislike for social networks in the past admittedly in quite harsh words. However, my main grudge with social networking is its overuse. Social networking online is actually an incredibly great idea because it allows people to stay in touch through life even if distances get greater and greater (whether physical distance or friendships going in different directions). The overuse that I'm speaking of is quite simple, it involves pointless and meaningless status updates/tweets, too many pictures, and what I would call an addiction. The status part speaks for itself, I'm sure everyone has read statuses and tweets and thought "cool story, Hansel." So, I digress. If you are taking pictures of yourself in the mirror or just holding the camera out in front of you, there is a good chance you post too many pictures. I'm not singling out girls on this one either. Guys, I don't care about your new tattoo, I don't care where it is or what it says, so I don't need to see a picture of it. I could probably go on for another hour or so about pictures, but I'm not, I think you get the point. In general, people's addiction to online social networking is the main driver for the overuse. I actually have a difficult time blaming people for this, though, because most people like to interact with friends and the internet lets you do that at not so close distances. Also, some people are very social and speak a lot anyways, so it's really just their personality coming out. 

Random interjection, I just thought of another reason why Twitter is a great invention. When situations get awkward or you're at a party and you don't know what to do, many people pretend to look at their phone like they have something to do such as answer a text. Well, Twitter makes pulling this move off so much easier and better because you can actually amuse yourself by reading tweets rather than pretend to text no one. Maybe it is just about the same thing, but at least it's another excuse to look at your phone, which brings me to anther point. Isn't it funny how much people look at their phones now? I've been in situations where the person I'm eating with or just having a conversation with spends more time looking at their phone than at me. At least in these situations you can judge how important you are. But it really is amazing how much people look at their phones now. People are looking at them walking down the street, while they're eating, while they're taking a crap, while they're driving, and the list goes on and on. I think a lot of phone looking can be attributed to social media since it can be accessed from phones now. 

One of the things I dislike most about the overuse of social media is the "I saw that on Facebook Effect," that's what I'm going to call it. The "I saw it on Facebook Effect" can be used for Twitter, too, but Facebook definitely deserves to have its name in the official label. I'm sure we've all been in the situation where someone asks you if you know about something to which you or the person you are speaking with declares that they saw it on Facebook. That is the "I saw it on Facebook Effect." I think that online social networks have created some sort of transparency on our lives. People get too much information from sites like Facebook and Twitter. When I see my friends, especially those I haven't seen for a while, I like to have things to discuss with them. But if they post everything in their life on Facebook and I've seen it, then it makes conversation boring and stale. I like gleaning information from the source, from the person who actually wants to tell me something. Personally I've gotten away from checking Facebook very often, a process that I started probably about midway through sophomore year of college, so luckily I don't have to deal with the "I saw it on Facebook Effect" very often.

Well, let's see where online social networking goes. I'll sure be watching with great interest.

Paper Jam

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Machines: A Recipe for Success

Most portrayals of the future draw a dark, unfair, and bleak image of what society and the world will be. Maybe this is done for entertainment value, but maybe the use of technology and machines isn't a bad thing. Yes, technology and machines are taking jobs off the market, the opposite effect that politicians like to be associated with, but maybe eliminating jobs is the right direction. I don't know about you, but from my point of view, people would usually prefer to spend their time doing other things besides work. I might be wrong, but that's why vacation exists. What would be better than vacation all day, everyday? You might say you would get bored, but I beg to differ, because in a world where no one works, everybody needs something to do. Therefore, granted you have friends, you should find some people to do what you like, whether that be playing sports, acting, discussing books, getting drunk, getting high, satisfying your preversions, playing video games, watching movies, dancing, etc. However, you might ask yourself "how the f**k is that possible?" It's simple, we kill the Batman. Actually, no, we continue with the development of technology and machines until we, the people, are no longer necessary to perform any job whatsoever.

Once we hit the point where machines can carry on all the necessary tasks and duties that humans do, then we the people, no longer work and money is thrown out the window. You might ask yourself who's going to take care of the machines by performing maintenance and checking up on them in general. Again, it's simple, there are machines to check on the machines and machines to check on the machines that check on machines. In this model, machines run the world while people are free to do as they like. You can go to a restaurant and order food that is brought to you by a machine that was prepared by a machine and the ingredients were farmed and processed by a machine in a different department. In reality, this world would function exactly as the one we are in now, but there would be no currencies and machines would do all the work. This model works because machines do not crave monetary value like humans. Machines would work because that's what they are programmed to do.

All the machines should have personalities like WALL-E!

Of course people will quickly look to find flaws with this model, such as crime. These people will say that crime would become a huge issue, but I say nay. Crime would probably exist to some extent, but when there is no money, there is no monetary value. Everyone would have access to the same goods, same amenities, same weed. Why steal any of these things when you could just get it from a machine for no cost? Boom, problem solved again. On to the next problem, disease. People will keep fu*king so new people will continue to arrive and machines are immune to the common cold as well as diseases such as AIDS,  HIV, lime disease, other STDs, or malicious viruses carried by birds or mosquitoes. I realize machines can get computer viruses, but I don't know how they'll get them because people can't look at porn on the machines that would be serving us and there wouldn't be much of any incentive to load a virus onto any of them since money is not an issue. In the off chance that some deviant prevert does put a virus on a machine, then the machines responsible for maintenance work can take care of that.

While I do enjoy the tales told in various forms of entertainment such as The Terminator, The Matrix, I-Robot, 12 Monkeys, Dark City, 1984, and Brave New World, I do prefer to envision a futuristic world in which people can frolic in freedom doing whatever their hearts desire. No need for money or work, after all, the real reason people work is to obtain money. Leave work to the machines that people's hard work in science create so we can spend the rest of human existence having a good time.

This could be everyday!

 Well, that's my incredibly strange vision of what a sweet future would be like. This all came to me when I found out that the MBTA just introduced a new pay-for-parking system where people who park their cars at the station now pay a machine. I went on to jokingly ask if that was creating more jobs, at which point the aforementioned idea developed inside my small brain. In other completely unrelated news (I think I'm going to start referring to my thoughts as news on this blog), the Olympics came to an end yesterday and I was thinking about my favorite moments from the 2012 games. The first two things that came into my mind were Usain Bolt's continued domination, he has definitely achieved legendary status, and how delighted I was when two Americans took first and second in the 110 meter high hurdles. Both of these highlights stand out in my mind, but there was a third that I think will go unnoticed unfortunately, and that moment belongs to American 400 meter runner Tony McQuay.

The USA's second place finish to the Bahamas in the 4x400 relay has definitely overshadowed McQuay's absolutely beast third leg of the race. When McQuay got the baton he was trailing Bahama's third runner. McQuay hauled ass like crazy to take the lead and hand the baton off to the anchor leg, Angelo Taylor, in first place. I was hoping Angelo Taylor, a 400 meter hurdler, would be able to hold the lead, but the Bahama's anchor was able to overtake him. However, McQuay's split was something absolutely ridiculous, like a 43. something low! That's a boss leg and I think the guy should get some recognition for that. McQuay ran only 45.31 (I wish I could run anywhere near that because that's still really fast!) in the open 400 and didn't qualify for the final, but he sure did put it all together in the relay. His leg was one of my favorite parts of the Olympics this year and he deserves some major respect.

I'll get you the lead

McQuay is only 22 and I'm looking forward to following the rest of his career with great interest. You can count me in as a fan. I also cannot forget to mention that another one of my favorite people was in the news today, that would be Jose "The Special One" Mourinho. Man do I really like this guy! He knows how to win and he knows how to hit people where it hurts the most. I still enjoy thinking about the time that Arsenal coach Arsene Wenger took a shot at Mourinho. I don't recall exactly why he was calling out Mourinho, but I loved Mourinho's response, "Where are all his trophies?" No fooling around, right to the jugular. Anyways, with Mourinho's Real Madrid winning La Liga this past season, The Special One has now won the English Premier League, the Italian Serie A, and La Liga, not to mention the Portuguese League, too. He is the only coach to win those three leagues, arguably the three best leagues in the world. He then went on to say that maybe people should start calling him the "Only One." I need say no more. Click here for a short article about it.

That's all I have for now, but before I go, imagine a man that was a combination of Jose Mourinho and Jack Donaghy.