Not so Long Ago in a Building Not so Far Away

The silence has been broken, Chase Robertson has posted to his blog last night for the first time since February 28 of this year. It has been almost four months and a decent amount has happened in that time period. This post, Things I Hate (That Everyone Else Seems to Love), sounds like something I would pen myself. George Carlin said it best, "I don't have pet peeves, I have major psychotic f**kin' hatreds." But no, I am not going off on a rant, rather I found it interesting that Chase brought up high school in this post as something he didn't find very enjoyable. I don't blame him for that because let's be serious, high school was rather stupid when you look back on it. There were some things I liked about high school, but there were also things I didn't like. I'm not sure if I feel this way just because of where I went to high school, but I'm sure there have to be similarities about high school life no matter where you go to school in the U.S.

The first thing that comes to mind about high school is how clownish the teachers are. Sometime this past April I found out that my former English teacher from high school was arrested for possessing large amounts of cocaine with the intent to distribute. Apparently she told the police they couldn't arrest her because she is a school teacher. I'm sure if that was the case a lot more people would get into teaching. I also had this guy for geometry who was only at the school for one year and I was lucky enough to experience his class. Two of my friends were given detentions by this guy almost daily, but after going to the first one they never went to another one. But the guy continued to serve them detentions day after day and didn't do anything, at least not to my knowledge because it certainly didn't seem like he was, about them not showing up.

By far the most entertaining class I had was an economics class senior year with D-Chucks. This guy was the epitome of a clown teacher. He just didn't care what anyone did, maybe because he was retiring once the year was finished, but the stuff that went down in that class was like nothing I've seen before. My same friend who would get detentions daily in geometry would sit there and say "hey, D-Chucks, f**k you," while he was teaching and he wouldn't do a thing. He would continue to read from the book at the front of the class like nothing happened. I still can't bring myself to believe that he was that oblivious. D-Chucks would also make these really strange noises in lieu of saying actual words. So many great memories from that class, it should have been called comic relief.

So in my experience most high school teachers are quite clownish. There were a couple good ones, but they were definitely in the vast minority. The long days of high school are something I'm glad I'll never go back to. Spending practically all day inside classrooms getting taught by the suspect teachers made each day feel like an eternity. One thing about high school that I completely agree with Chase on is school spirit. I could care less and I didn't have any in high school. I would go to the football games, but I would go to see friends, not watch the game. In fact I wouldn't even pay sometimes and chose to hop the fence to get in because I didn't want to support the football team. I don't get the big deal with being a senior either. Senior status is something that's going to happen unless you drop out of school. Senior year was my favorite year of high school by far, but it was not because I was a senior, it was merely because it was a good year.

I think my lack of school spirit has something to do with the town I went to high school in. The town I live in is one of those places where it seems like everyone knows everyone else. And if someone doesn't know who someone is in particular, then they know someone who's related to them. Honestly, I think it's kind of strange and I don't really like it. Of course I like having friends and acquaintances and seeing people I know, but at the same time it's nice to have some anonymity. The emphasis that the people in my town put on high school sports is sickening, too. I don't have anything against high school sports, I participated in them, too. What annoyed me is that some people's high school sport prowess was like the highlight of their life. Playing in the Thanksgiving day football game was the best it got for some people. I just think that's sad, but if it helps them sleep at night, then keep believing that.

 Unfortunately I do remember that people in my class were not completely academically honest. You would have to be extremely naive to think that people weren't cheating, even the "smart" people. I think that sucks because it does hurt other peoples' class rank. The cheaters and all the people that dropped out, too. I remember going to check my class rank while I was in the process of applying to colleges. Each time I went my percentile rank in the class was usually different even if my spot didn't change because people kept dropping out. That was something that I made a light situation of because at least I did know that I was going to graduate. As for those other people ranking high in the class due to cheating, well, that's an annoying thing that I'll just have to live with. I guess in the end it didn't make much difference anyway, I still went to a good college.


I wasn't one of the popular people in school either, I just did my own thing. That's just my style, I was basically the same way in college, too. I would go to school, do the required work, go to practice, and go home. Nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't go to prom, I wasn't really interested in that whole thing. I can't say that prom sucks because I don't know, but that type of thing just wasn't my bag. Sure most of my friends went, but I took that night easy, as I do many nights. I got enough entertainment from the stories afterword.


In my estimation, high school was a place to bide your time before leaving for college. Once you get into college all your accomplishments from high school don't really matter anymore. The same can be said of college, once you get your first job and don't screw it up, what you accomplished in college is of lesser value. I don't really know what to make of high school, some of it was fun, a lot of it was lame, like busy work and really long and boring days. Interestingly enough, I find that my closest friends are the ones I had during my time in high school, though. Maybe that's because we went through that crap together and spent many fun filled nights in the basement of wonder and many nice days playing frisbee. At some point I came to the realization that a Bruce Springsteen song fits high school very well, at least in my case. Maybe you can relate, too.

I tend to remember particular people and experiences I had with them in high school as opposed to high school in general. This doesn't surprise me because of how bland high school actually is and I often remember a great deal about people I have interaction with. I've found that I can often remember what people said to me in certain situations and what body language they use. People fascinate me so that's probably why.


Basically (to me) high school was a place full of clowns "teaching" the youth for far too many hours each day with many optional activities that add to or subtract from each individuals' popularity. On another note, I'm glad that my good blogging buddy, Chase Robertson, posted some new material. I hope he continues to do so because it is so much more interesting to read a blog post than a status update or tweet. The elaboration of blogs make them my favorite type of social media.


On second thought, high school was a silly place and I'm glad I do not have to go back there.

JQ

Honesty and respect are two of the most important aspects of people. Saying that, I think that sometimes people have trouble staying honest with themselves. I'm not going to lie, I haven't been too happy recently, but luckily I tend to write most passionately when something is bothering me. However, today (I'm speaking of Saturday since it's technically Sunday when I'm writing this) was an exceptional day. I would also like to thank Chase Robertson for watching a bunch of Euro Cup games with me over the past week, it's always good to see you, buddy. Today was so great because I got a familiar, but old taste of the what my life used to be like. Chase and two other friends of mine from home and I simply went to a baseball field and screwed around. When most people think of me athletically now they think track. But before I was a track runner I was a baseball player. I played shortstop for most of my organized baseball career, but I was always an outfielder at heart. Why? Well because I really enjoy running down fly balls. That's exactly what I did today with some great friends.

The idea to go to the field to hit and shag flies was brought up by JQ, my longest standing friend. Unfortunately I had not seen JQ since I returned from the west coast about two weeks ago I believe. Spending time with JQ always makes me feel great because of the history that we've built together. As a young child I lived in two different states and two different countries. I was born on the east coast of the United States, but my family soon relocated to California and eventually to Brazil. Our frequent moving made for an interesting childhood. I don't have any friends that I've known since kindergarten or anything like that because I attended kindergarten in California, but then went from first to third grade in Brazil. Moving does not make for easy friend retention. However, when we came back to the United States from Brazil we happened to move into the same neighborhood as my uncle. At the end of each summer my uncle has an end of the summer barbecue party. At the first end of the summer barbecue party I met JQ. Little did I know that JQ would turn into such an important person in my life. We've been friends since the fourth grade and we've had some great times. Here's a little look at how our friendship has developed over the past decade or so.

 I'll start at the beginning, when we were very young. One memory that stands out occurred on a nice day when JQ invited me to play some basketball at a nearby neighbor's basketball hoop. I went and we got into some type of verbal altercation. I have no memory of what this altercation was about, but we ended up leaving unhappy. I remember eating dinner after that when the phone rang. It was none other than JQ offering for me to come over to his house after dinner so we could make up for the incident. You have to remember that this was circa fourth or fifth grade. What a classy move for such a young age. I went over and everything was fine. I also know for a fact that we have never fought about anything since then. At the time I didn't really think much of the event, but that was such a nice thing to do.

The following years, the middle school days, JQ and I spent almost everyday together. I actually remember him telling me one time that we weren't going to hang out for a week because he wanted to show his sister that we did more than just hang out. I miss those days when JQ and I would hang out and play the first Halo. We actually beat that entire game on Legendary, the hardest difficulty. I can recall playing the same parts of the game what seemed like hundreds of times until we finally made it through one time. The part that really stands out was near the beginning of the third level when you first get on the space ship and there are invisible elites with swords. For those of you who don't play video games or are unfamiliar with Halo, the swords are a one hit kill. I think JQ and I played that part 1,000 times, getting killed by one of those invisible bastards 999 of those times.

In middle school we had two hand touch football games at the bus stop practically every single day. Our neighborhood had a decent amount of people my year in it and the year ahead of me in it. So we usually just played sixth graders vs. seventh graders (and seventh graders vs. eighth graders the following year). This was around the time when I began to realize that I had some speed, especially when I could outrun the older kids! Anyways, JQ was our quarterback and I was the go to receiver. We played with the rules that each team has four downs to score a touchdown. JQ and I had a set play for third down that we would just look at each other and say third down and we knew what was coming. The play was basically a post pattern. When JQ hiked the ball I would run straight at a decent pace, but after about four or five steps I would cut toward the middle of the field and burn in a diagonal toward the end zone. JQ would just throw the ball up in the air and I would go get it. We actually had a pretty damn good success rate on this play because I could get by anyone covering me and as long as JQ got the ball in the air somewhere where I could run it down we were good. I must add that JQ was quite good at it.

JQ and I entered high school as extremely good friends. This one time we were hanging out at his house after school, I believe it was sophomore year. For some reason we were sharing the nightmares we had in our youth. I'll never forget his reaction after I told him about one of the most common nightmares I used to have. When I was very young I used to have nightmares where I was in a building. The building was some type of warehouse that had wooden boxes everywhere. The building was not well lit, I must have been there at night. I know not why I was in this warehouse, but I do know that I was running away from giant rats. When I was in the process of telling JQ about this dream I didn't really think much of it. I was merely recounting a nightmare that I used to have. I've never seen someone laugh so hard and for so long as JQ did. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that he might have been laughing loudly and genuinely for about ten minutes. It was one of those moments where I began to laugh loudly, too simply because he was. He was just sitting there laughing hysterically, commenting "maybe that's why you're so fast!"

Sophomore year of high school was when I was beginning to notice that maybe I did have some sort of track talent. I came in second in both hurdle events at leagues outdoors that year and eventually qualified for states. I think those are decent accomplishments for someone in their third season of track. Obviously JQ was aware of the success I was having because we spoke all the time and he was also friends with other people on the track team, too, our high school wasn't that big. We still played sports outside of school, frisbee, wiffle ball, football, and occasionally basketball or something else. Starting sometime during sophomore year and stretching to senior year, every time we had a pickup game and I was involved in some type of physical contact JQ would always yell at the person who came into contact with me, saying "hey, he's valuable to LHS!" I got a kick out of it every time he would say it. I know neither he nor anyone we were playing with would intentionally try to hurt me or anyone else we were playing with, but he would let them know. It was almost like a joke within itself because I would always say that no one gave a shit about the track team anyway, which actually did have some truth to it.

Even when we both went off to college JQ and I have always been in touch. There have been some long lapses of communication, but that has not damaged our friendship at all. The summer after freshman year, which I think was the best summer of my life to this point, started out with a classic JQ memory. One day we were at the grocery store and there was a deal for ice cream, something like buy one and get one free. So JQ and I decided to each get a half gallon of ice cream and take advantage of the deal. We went back to JQ's house and we were playing some NBA 2K8 or 9 given the time frame. We were playing with the stacked legends (or something teams), don't think I don't remember dominating with Patrick Ewing, JQ! We were eating the ice cream while playing. I somehow was managing to dominate at the game with Patrick Ewing, but after a few games JQ looked into my carton of ice cream and realized that I had eaten almost all of it. "Oh my God!!! Do you have a stomach ache?!?!" Another classic reaction there. Luckily I did not have a stomach ache despite consuming an entire half gallon of ice cream in one sitting. That ice cream did not go to waste, not on my watch.

The ice cream, it's all gone!

To say the very least, seeing JQ and hanging out with him today was a real treat. I plan on seeing much more of him in the very near future. That's one of the few things that I can control in the future. My mood has definitely been lifted after today. The end of my college career did not going very much as I would have liked it for a few reasons, which is why I haven't been too happy as of late. One of the things bothering me is track. Track has been such a large part of my life for the last eight years, but I don't think I'm ready to call it quits on the sport just yet. My collegiate track career ended with me feeling very frustrated. Why was I frustrated? Well I've been a hurdler since I began running freshman year of high school, but I've never actually had a coach who knows hurdles. My high school coach, despite claiming that he was a former hurdler, did not offer much insight. He even told me during practice for the indoor New England Championship meet (a practice that consisted of me and him since I was the only one on the team still competing) that I probably knew more than he did at that point. Then freshman year of college my coach told me that he had no expertise in the hurdles, that he was unfamiliar with the event. Our new coach this past year was no different.

What frustrated me was the fact that I rarely ever got to practice the high hurdles. My coach planned almost all of my practices around training for the 400 meter hurdles. I have no problem practicing for the event, but seriously, I need practice in the highs, too. At the end of the season I was actually doing no high hurdle work. At conferences I made the final in the high hurdles, but I was the last qualifier. I didn't qualify for the finals in the 400 hurdles, I only missed by .17 seconds I think, but the hard fact is that I didn't make it. So let's get this straight, I qualified in the event I spent almost no time training for. I did just get in though and when I was back over where our team was sitting my coach started talking to me about how my trail leg was slow. I looked at him in disbelief and said "I never practice it." Then I walked away thinking what the hell do you expect. He could tell I didn't like what he said to me and later on told me he didn't have me practicing the highs because I was getting faster in the event without practicing. Well that was true for a few weeks, but leading into conferences I ran one of my slowest times of the season.

Before the New England Championships, the week after conferences I did no high hurdle stuff again except for when I had a free day to do whatever I wanted. I was ready to go for that meet. I was right next to the fastest high hurdler in New England. I got out of the blocks very well and was with the number one seed at the first hurdle. He got over much quicker than me, but I was having a good race. At the seventh hurdle, I nailed the hurdle with my lead leg and stumbled which threw off my whole race. I decided to finish up the race anyways but I recorded my worst time in the event ever. That includes in high school, too, where the hurdles are 3 inches shorter. I am no satisfied with that. Luckily there are track meets quite often, you just have to look for them. I plan on competing again. I don't know how much more, but I just don't think I'm done with the sport yet. That ending has just been bothering me, I can't let it end like that. I did run my best time in the 400 hurdles later that same day, but it did little to relieve the disappointment I felt from the previous race. Here's why: I spent practically the entirety of my senior year training for the 400 meter hurdles. At the end of the year I had run my best time, but it was best time by .26 seconds. I barely trained for the high hurdles, but in the 110 high hurdles I improved by .39 seconds, which is a great deal in that race. To put it in perspective, I came in second at the New England Championships my senior year of high school and was beat by .40 seconds. You can see what that looks like for yourself in the video below. I'm in the blue shorts and white top in lane 5.

Watch more video of New England Interscholastic Spring Track and Field Championship Meet on flotrack.org

Another thing that has been bothering me is lacking a job. I've been bored out of my mind and am growing tired of searching for a job. However I finally have an interview on Monday. I really hope that turns into something, I'm staying positive about it. This was an exceptionally great day, though. I got to spend some time with three of my closest friends and run around like a lunatic for a bit. I plan on having many more days like this over the summer. I'm coming back to my normal self after a few uncomfortable nights. And remember, be champions.

Moving On

I've fractured my ankle and taken a baseball bat with a weight taped onto it to the face, but neither of those injuries have the fatal blow of emotional anguish. In previous posts I have mentioned a girl that I have taken a liking to. A girl who once told me to introduce her to my parents as my girlfriend. A girl who I stayed in touch with while she was studying abroad during the past fall semester. A girl with whom I failed to see enough during my time in college. A girl who I was going to ask to be my girlfriend and I to be her boyfriend. This girl told me today that she was with someone.

I am by no means mad at her, but I am very sad. I can't help to think of what could have been. For the past few hours I had been debating whether I should blog about this or not because it is such a sensitive and personal subject. But looking back at past entries I can see how my life has unfolded since I began Sycophantic Laughter right after Thanksgiving of 2010. While this is not a happy day in my life, it is an important day for me, marking the third coming of the search for a girlfriend.

My face when I found out

This is the second time that I've liked a girl enough to think about asking them to be my girlfriend, and the second time that it has not worked out. Not only did I choose to blog about this as an important day in my life, but I find a comfort in blogging. This blog contains my thoughts, ideas, events in my life all written in my own words with my own feeling encompassed. With that said, it saddens me to miss out on an opportunity with this girl, I'll refer to her as "Mystery" so I don't have to keep typing "the girl" and out of respect because she deserves to have a name. I also choose the name Mystery because of my past relationship experience, mainly that I have never had one. That's correct, I'm twenty-two and I've never had a girlfriend. Given that I have never been involved in a relationship with anyone, my friends have always been interested to see who I choose. I can recall some friends imagining the characteristics of the girl they thought I would date, some good memories there. So I'll tell you about Mystery.

Mystery is one year behind me in school, she will be entering her senior year of college this fall. I met Mystery during my sophomore year in college because we attended the same university where we met through a common activity. Looking back on that year I remember Mystery asking me what I was doing on the weekend and telling me she was going to be all alone in her room bored on some nights. At that time I was too stupid to realize that maybe she was interested in getting to know me, what an idiot I was. Although, to be fair I was still attempting to work something out with the first girl that I ever wanted to date (from my high school), so I can't throw too much crap at myself for that. So that year ended with me just thinking of her as another nice person I had met during the year. She also had started dating someone else at the end of the year, so I just thought of her as a nice, new friend.

Upon arriving back at school my junior year I knew that I was not going to have any type of a relationship with my friend from high school who was going into her sophomore year of college just like Mystery. The first weekend everyone was back on campus I happened to see Mystery in the dining hall at breakfast. Actually, I didn't see her, but she and her friends spotted me as I was about to leave and they called me over. I heard my name and looked out into the depths of the dining to see Mystery waving and smiling at me. So I went over to say hello and she got up to give me a hug. We also happened to have a class together that semester which she was happy about. I saw her a few days later in one of the buildings at school and she came up to me to tell me how we could walk to class together and sit next to each other. Of course I had no problem with this, but I still wasn't really putting the pieces together that maybe she was interested, even if she did still have a boyfriend at the time.

Hugs make everyone feel good

So we did go to class together and sit next to each other. On most of those nights Mystery and I ate dinner together, too. Mystery and I would speak to each other quite often. I always enjoying speaking with her, she's very interesting and not shy to say what's on her mind. I remember her telling me about people she didn't like because they were rude to her and how certain things annoyed her, I distinctly remember her talking about her boyfriend to me once where she said "I don't even like him." That's verbatim, too. Eventually that day came where Mystery came to the home track meet and told me that I should introduce her to my parents as my girlfriend. I was really caught off guard by this and just laughed. I didn't introduce her and that could be a huge mistake that I am suffering from now. I saw her later that weekend in the dining hall again and she told me that she still needed to meet her boyfriend's parents. For some reason I just didn't ask her to be my girlfriend which has come back to haunt me. I'm noticing that I have developed a habit for waiting far too long to ask.

We're almost at present time now. Mystery studied abroad for the fall semester, but I kept in touch with her through social media (I found a good use for it, who would have guessed). She told me about how much she was enjoying herself and how she wanted me to cook dinner for her when she got back. So everything was well at this point, but when she did get back I never got the chance to make even one dinner for her. She got an internship and was rarely at school during the spring semester. I did manage to have lunch with her one day and have a coffee with her before the end of the semester. Now it's summer and Mystery got another internship offer in another state, not too far away though. I had been keeping in touch with her and today I got the news. Mystery told me she was with someone else. I don't know who that someone is, but if she's happy then I don't want to interfere.

What did I like about Mystery? Well she is a very nice person who holds her friends closely from what I can see. I think she is very easy to get along with and she's got a brain, too. Mystery is also very good looking, but she does it in a sophisticated way and there is so much more to her than merely her stunning looks. I've always felt comfortable conversing with her. Mystery is a lovely young lady with a promising future. I can't say enough about her, she's simply a wonderful person. She's also extremely outgoing and sometimes has a little too much, but she maintains herself well.

It's my loss really, I always wait until it's too late. I'm glad that she's happy, but it makes me feel down. I've only felt like this once before with my previous failure to develop a meaningful relationship and it is no fun. I don't really know what I'm going to do now, I have this strange empty feeling and I doubt I'll be able to go to sleep easily, but at the same time  I don't really want to do anything. This news combined with the stress of looking for a job is definitely taking a toll on me. I just feel useless right now. Maybe I just need some more cowbell, but I'm perplexed with my life right now. I wish Mystery the best. She still wants to be friends and I can't say no to that because I do like her and I don't want to completely severe ties with such a wonderful person. I could just really use a nice, warm hug right about now.

I don't know what's next, but I might actually have an interview sometime next week so hopefully I'll have some happy news soon. As a huge fan of soccer coach Jose Mourinho and Special 1 T.V. I've adopted the phrase "Be Champions" as a motto to live my life by. I think that everyone should be a champion. I don't care if you are a superstar, a person living a successful life, an aspiring future leader, or a crack pot smoker. Everyone should live their lives as a champion and I plan on handling this unfortunate situation as a champion. Mystery, I dedicate this entry to you and I wish you the best.

What do I do now?

My family and I have been back home from Seattle for a week now and it only took that week for me to get bored out of my mind. Luckily I was able to spend some time with good friends the last two nights which has greatly helped me ease the boredom to some extent. Yesterday I was gone most of the day for a family get together. During this get together I found myself come to a realization. From my point of view, my life, as well as most people when I come to think about it, revolves around sitting in some place to getting up and going to sit in another place. Call me crazy, but I honestly feel like that's what's going on. Yesterday for example, at my grandmother's 80th birthday party. My family and I got to the restaurant and sat down and ate. Once all that was finished we got walked back to the car and sat in it until we arrived back at her house where we proceeded to sit down inside. Then once everyone was like screw sitting inside, let's go outside because it's so nice. So we all got up and walked outside to sit down. After sitting there for a while it was time for us to make our way home, so we got back in the car and sat there for about another hour and a half.

I don't mean to take anything away from family gatherings, I think they're a good thing as long as they don't last too long. I am merely pointing out how life just revolves around going places to sit down. The same was true in school, whether high school, college, any type of education. You show up to class and sit down and listen to someone, sometimes a huge clown, teach, or in some cases "teach," for a predetermined amount of time. Once that amount of time expires, it's on to the next class or it's time to go sit in the cafeteria or it's time to go sit in your dorm or something. I think this holds true for practically every situation. You go out to a bar and sit down, or maybe you stand around, but I think it's along the same idea. You go to a sporting event and you sit down and watch. You go to work where most professional jobs include lots of sitting and sedentary action.

My sister and I with the Freemont Troll in Seattle!

 Personally, I like to stay active. I like moving around and partaking in physical activity. This is probably why I ended up running track and very much enjoy playing pickup games of frisbee. I usually find myself happiest when running around like a lunatic. Unfortunately as my friends and I get older it gets increasingly difficult each year to play sports because people are busy or lazy and sometimes a combination of both. I also find that most people just want to go to bars and drink or just drink in general. I don't mind doing this sometimes, but I'm definitely not one to go out and drink on an extremely regular basis. I think that right there immediately cuts my options of things to do with people by a lot. Pair the sedentary style of life with no job and I find myself bored out of my mind.

Right now the main goal for me is to find a job. I've submitted my resume to a few places and I'm continuing to search for opportunities while I wait to hear back. The annoying thing is that if the places I've applied to aren't interested in what I have to offer, they probably won't even get back to me so I'll have no idea if I'm still in consideration or not. I'm really hoping that if I can find a job I'll be a lot happier, because I'm already sick of where I'm at now.

At this point I'm just going to continue searching for work and spend time with some of my longest standing friends. Speaking of which, I also had another revelation, something that I've actually known all along, but for some reason took me a while to realize. Actually, I think I always did know it, but I didn't want to be a huge dick, but I now I do. If you are familiar with me, or this blog, you know that I'm not a supporter of Facebook. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then look at the labels section on the right side of the blog and click on "Facebook." Then you can see me bitch and piss myself into a puddle of my own rage. When I was writing about the social networking site that has become a large part of practically everyone's life my age or around it, I was quick to blame the site for allowing people to do all the annoying things that piss me off. However, I was wrong to blame Facebook, it's not the site's fault, rather it is the people on it. There you go, very simply put, the way people use Facebook, and other social media sites, annoys the piss out of me.

Running around like a lunatic at an early age!

The one thing that annoys me the most on Facebook is that you can tell when people blow you off. I don't really feel like getting into too much depth on this subject because it will just end with a whole lot of unpleasant thoughts, but it does really annoy me. I also think that this has gotten much, much worse since people have been able to use Facebook on mobile devices.

So I have no job and very little to do. I'm bored to say the least. That's about all I have to say for now. I'll leave you with this short film that one of my friends made this past semester in school.

Roommates: The Last Words

I've been a huge slacker on the blogging front lately, but now finals are over and I have no class to go to or job to show up for, so that creates time for blogging! This is going to be an interesting time in my life because undergraduate school and collegiate track are both over for me. I still have the actual graduation ceremony to go to this Saturday, which happens to be the same day as the Champions League final unfortunately, but it is strange to think college is done. I have to say I feel much the same way I did in high school, there were some fun times, but I'm ready to get the hell out of there and go do something different. I'm really hoping that finding a job won't be a huge pain in the ass, but if it is, I'm sure I'll at least get some good stories out of it. Looking back at the past four years I've spent in college I can see how my life has changed and how the people who are important to me have changed. For the most part I still stay in touch with my close friends from high school, which I am very pleased about, but the vast majority of people I knew then I rarely communicate with now. That might sound depressing, but it's not, because there are many new people that have worked their way into the closer circle of friends.

While I don't have 1,983,435 friends, the ones I have kept in touch with and the ones I have developed at school are relatively strong friendships, especially with a small group people (from high school and college) that I consider my best friends whom I will probably have communication with for the rest of life. What I'm not going to miss is tests, crappy group projects, and excessive alcohol/drug use. This brings me back to my roommates. I have been preparing for quite some time the last installment of the stupid shit that my roommates say, which can be found a little further down on this post. This installment is rather long, but it's the last one and I am so happy that I won't be subject to this stupid conversation any longer. I guess I do have to go back for one night before graduation, but it's basically over, thankfully.

In efforts to ignore the dumb conversations, I frequently listen to comedians.  Recently I've been listening to a larger variety of comedians including Luis CK. Louis is a funny guy, but one of his jokes summed up my roommates very accurately which made it particularly funny to me. Below is the joke, listen to it and you will understand my roommates better.



Annnnd here they are, the last contributions to the mini-series:

Actually I just jacked off... so I just gave up.

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna f**k her.

It was just me and three freshman girls just rollin' up joints. It doesn't matter who's on campus.

Definitely shouldn't trust me.

Yo, I'm not pissed, but did one of you house my Butterfingers?

I might have messed this up if this girl thinks I'm lookin' at porn all the time. Which I might ... but this is not good.

It's gonna be so funny when I bang her and stop hittin' her up.

I hooked up with her once and now she won't talk to me.

I've made out with a girl 'til 5 or 6 in the morning. I just try to keep takin' her panties off. She kept sayin' no, but it only takes one yes.

My plan for tonight is to wait 'til like 10 and pound SoCo... and just get belligerently drunk.

Man, I skipped like mad classes this week. I wasn't even tryna skip.

What's that saying again? Beer before liquor get drunk quicker?

Honestly, she was talkin' like she just wanted to get dicked up

Dude, what do you think of these two girls? It's not usually my style, but look at that black girl's ass. It's actually kinda gross.

I have to keep my reputation as a douche bag.

That chick **** had no intentions of hookin' up with me. What a waste of time.

She won't sleep with me because I banged her f**ckin' roommate.

You wanna see this cannon we're about to smoke?

So pretty much, I'm gonna lose 20% of my grade.

I could call up that freshman chick ***. I don't think she likes me at all.

Does nap equal sex?

The plan was to let her smoke as much weed as she wanted... and that's it.

I've been real paranoid the last couple days. I was sittin' here on Saturday and a car pulled up to the fire lane and took a picture of the house.

I hate multiple choice because I can usually bullshit on a normal test.

Yo, you think I'm gonna be dirty now that I have golf shoes? (hooray for a different subject!)

I'm not smokin' 'til 4/20 so I can get super high.

Good luck not smokin'.

I think I'm done. I just don't feel like being this paranoid all the time.

Dude, I'm broke, I have no money. And my parents don't just give me money. (maybe I'll explain why this is funny, or you can just wonder)

My goal is to make it to last call at Rente's. I want to pick up some drunk sluts.

This girl, ****, wants me so bad. At first she wasn't texting me at all, but now she is all the time.

I am his mom. I'm Wiz's mom and dad.

Just don't do what I did, spend all your money and smoke a ton of weed.

Yo, Mike, where do you think would be a good place to find some sluts? ..... No, those are whores. I want sluts.

Dude, **** was givin' me some dirty looks in class today.

Her vagina is gross, too, it has some real disgusting parts.

I saw ****'s ex-boyfriend today and I'm even more perplexed. I don't understand why she won't f**k me.

I got a movie quote for you: "knock knock. Who's there? Go f**k yourself."

**** ruined my nest egg. She smoked my retirement fund.

Do you think that girls really have guy friends? Because she texts me like every day. Maybe I just come from a different class of guys.

Dude, be careful because I have a feelin' DPS is pullin' a raid on me on 4/20. If they raid me, it will be at like 5 in the morning, so we can smoke all day.

This girl is the biggest cockblock of all time. I think she's part clueless and part c**t.

What she said to me was I'm too nice. What I said to that: "wow, don't get that too often."

It really sucks, dude, cus you're gettin' pussy. So you can just wait it out. I'm not, so I'm just wasting time. It's just that... every time she texts me, I think I'm in.

You think you hooked up with a girl when she had a boyfriend? Yeah buddy!

Dude, India has nuclear bombs? Awww shit.

Those guys in the Middle East would, they're retards.

Damn, look at these f**kin' hot sluts.

No, I just wanna bang her. (answering the question "do you like her?")

I'm gonna shower and get ready for the day. Hit me up later. (at 6:57 PM)

You stayin' here tonight, ***? (Yeah.) We gotta find some sluts, dude.

I'm honest with girls. I don't want a relationship. Don't want 'em, don't like 'em.

I'll be out of the friend zone when I put it in her. I can tell she wants dick.

I don't smoke cigs. I only smoke cigs when I'm drunk.

I'm not a stoner.

My dick is sore from dry humping.

I got half a boner, I just woke up, and you're like "let's go to the gym, let's go to the gym."

If it doesn't go down tonight my balls are gonna be bluer than that solo cup.

I saw her come over here with that beer in her hand and I was like oh yes. Yes, yes, yes.

I was spitting some ferocious game that night.

I actually am gonna bust in like 2 minutes because I'm so built up.

I'm not gonna be real good at sex right now, but that's your fault.

How fast you bust depends on how into the girl you are.

This girl is gonna be devastated after I f**k her and I don't call her back. I don't give a f**k, there are only two weeks of school left.

I'm just tryna go to bed... and smash ... and not hang out.

I'm in my prime. I'm bangin' sluts all the time. Make-outs are in the hundreds.

Dude, it is so expensive to f**k.

You still tryna do coke tonight?

That's actually why I go to the library, to see if there are any girls I know. Hey, how you doin'? Can I sit here?

Yo, what's up baby? Can you suck my c**k tonight, please?

I'm gonna go all out. I'm gonna smoke up this girl **** on like 1,000 blunts and just f**k her. I gotta start goin' to the gym.

She looked really f**ked up. That's good right? I heard sex on vikenin is the best.

Check out this new cut I gave my pubes. It's stylin'.

Like last night I was pretending to study, but I was thinking I really want to f**k this girl.

It's gonna suck getting written up as an alumni.

That's what my dick was like when I was f**kin' that chick, not hard, but not soft.

Bozo's Sidekick

Yeah, *** still won't f**k me. I would do whatever I have to.

I don't know how I got so drunk last night.

My bad tryna fight that kid, I don't know what I was thinkin'.

I couldn't get the job done last night. Hopefully bang her next time.

Dude, I'm doin' so bad in school right now. I just got a 68 on my paper.

I thought when girls were on the rebound they just wanted ...

She fell asleep in the bed in her clothes, so I asked her to leave. (Did you bang her?) No, that's why I asked her to leave.

I skipped class, but I had a chance for some morning sex.

It's kind of funny to think about how much it costs to bang out chicks.

Doesn't it suck that it's harder to get a girl to f**k you if they actually like you?

I would also like to point out that roommate number two, Bozo's sidekick, or whatever you want to refer to him as, had a falling out with the person he was going to go to senior ball with. The falling out was because she wouldn't have sex with him. Last I knew he was just not going to go, but who knows what has happened since then. What a guy! To say the least, I am very glad to know that my time living in that house is coming to an end.

What's up next I don't entirely know. My family and I are going (we went out, I just haven't blogged in so long that I wrote this portion before we left) out to Washington (the state) to visit my sister who has been living out there for a little over a year now. Then I guess I'll be looking for a job. I'm excited to see what transpires, this is the time of life when you really start becoming independent. I think ideally I would get a job and live at home for a little while, if possible, to save money. I would like to get a job in the city and eventually get an apartment or something with some friends, that would be the ideal situation. Which city, I do not know, but I think the most important thing is to just get a job at this point.

Enough of this gay banter, though, there are more interesting things to contemplate. Actually, maybe there isn't. All I do know is that I don't have a job, this means that I have no income right now (thankfully I have actually managed to save some money over the years!) and my days are wide open. I can do whatever I want practically whenever I want. Yes, that does include looking for a job, though. Now that I think of it, my entire life is wide open right now. I don't have a job, so that means I have the freedom to apply to jobs wherever because I don't have any reason to stay here or go to any particular place. The other thing is that I have no girlfriend either. I have (or had, I'm not sure what tense to put this sentence in) a good thing going with a girl at school, but due to some circumstances (good circumstances if you care) I haven't been able to see her much and that's not going to change for a while at least, and possible forever. I might get into this topic some more given all the free time I'm going to have. So if you're at all interested be sure to check back. So at this point I have no idea what's going to happen in my life, but I plan on making it a fun ride!

The coolest Chinese Man ever!

Since I cannot go to sleep, which is why I decided to finish this at 2 in the morning despite the draft sitting in the post list for probably almost two months now (meaning why the hell haven't I finished this yet!), I'm probably going to start an article for Penultimate Round Pick on the man pictured above, Liu Xiang!

Poor Start, Strong Finish

The last few days have not been anything special, but some strange things have happened. I'll start with Friday morning. Actually, I'll take a few steps back and look at Thursday night. Of course my roommates left for a very small portion of the night on Thursday because that's the thing to do. Thursday night was typical, they left and came back sometime between 1 and 2 a.m. and played shitty music loudly and brought back obnoxious girls. I've gotten very used to this and thought nothing of it, except that I'm more than ready to graduate and be done with it. I got up Friday morning and went downstairs to the kitchen to get some juice to eat with breakfast before class. When I got to the kitchen I thought I was suddenly in the movie Die Hard and I looked around to see if Bruce Willis was around. What I saw to trigger this reaction was shattered glass all over the floor.

Remember that part in Die Hard when Bruce Willis had to walk over broken glass barefoot? That was awesome.

I had no idea what had happened, I hadn't heard anything last night, but whatever had been broken wasn't just dropped, it was obliterated. Of course no one else I live with has any idea what happened either. I think they ended up blaming it on some tool they were hanging out with the night before. But for all I know it could have been the Boogeyman. We think the victim was a glass bowl that one of my roommates uses for popcorn, but who knows. As long as it wasn't one of my things, I guess I don't really care. You know what else is kind of funny, all the glass is still on the floor now, it's just not spread out all over the floor. Now the glass is in a nice neat pile in front of the sink. I think I might wait to see how long it sits there as some kind of a social experiment where I do absolutely nothing to help. I wanted to do the same thing with the dirty dishes in the sink, but I actually want to use those so I never actually did it. I'll take bets on how long the glass will sit in a pile on the floor. I'm also still waiting for someone to stab themselves.

In other news, we had a track meet yesterday where I had a first time experience. This experience revolved around the blocks. For people unfamiliar with track, the blocks are the supports used in sprinting races that allow runners to push off the angled supports to ensure a better start.

Starting blocks, a sprinter's best friend!

Blocks are anchored into the track surface by spikes similar to the ones used in sprinting spikes, or at least I think they look similar. Before the race I did two practice starts/runs at the first hurdle and everything was fine. Actually, I felt quite good, also due in part to the excellent weather. However, when the gun went off for the race to begin, the blocks slid back on me and I went nowhere. This could be partly my fault because I didn't have anyone stand on the back of the blocks for extra support, but I've done without that many times and it has not been an issue, until now that is. The blocks slid out from under me and I almost fell on my face. I looked up and saw everyone else racing their way toward the first hurdle and I decided, hell, I may as well run anyway. So I proceeded to run the race with one of the worst starts I could imagine. I basically made a handicap for myself and was faced with a task I hope I will never have again: running people down in the 110 meter hurdles. Check out these pictures to see how far behind I was at the beginning of the race. You should have no difficulty picking me out if you don't know what I look like.

Wait for me

I still want to race

I ended up running a shitty time by my expectations, but it could have been a lot worse actually. In fact, I've runner slower times in my career when nothing bad happened in the race except me sucking. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I still beat some of my previous times despite my blocks slipping out from under me, or that I managed to come in third in this race. Addressing the first statement, I guess that just shows my improvement over the years. I have been happy that I have run faster each year throughout college. In a strange way, I think that this experience might have been very good for me, at least there are some positives that came out of it.When this happened, I felt a sense of panic and exhilaration, I just had to get back into the race. My senior year in high school, which was the best by far in my high school track career, I always felt like I could turn it on in the 110 hurdles, to some extent that is. I would be in situations where I would think I need to put some distance between me and my competitors or that I just needed to try to keep up with someone. In the race yesterday, I felt like that panic and adrenaline rush led to the same type of situation, except I felt like I had to catch up. The guys that came in first and second are both very good, so I knew there was no chance catching them, but I was able to run down and beat the other guys in the race.

After the race, I was speaking with one of my coaches who had seen all the events of the race unfold. He told me that he thinks that the unfortunate beginning of the race could have hindered by my time by an entire second, which is a really long time in a race, especially one that is only 110 meters. If that's true, I probably actually ran the best race of my college career in the high hurdles yesterday, it just won't show up that way in the results. I'll use it as a great source of encouragement and I'm excited to get back out on the track and see what I can do!

Another side note about my college athletic career, I always have a good time looking at the articles on our school's website about the track team. Practically every single article, I can't remember one that hasn't, mentions "strong performances from so-and-so." You can tell that the people who write the articles have no idea about track and what good times for certain events are. Also, since the vast majority of this post has been dedicated to sports, I would like to welcome any readers to check out the new sports blog that a couple friends and I just started, Penultimate Round Pick. We hope to deliver a unique view on sports that has a marginal entertainment value.

We have much higher hopes for PRP than Retentive Gibberish since there is a defined focus for the articles. So check it out, there are already a few articles up and hopefully many more to come in the near and far out future! Also, while it is not my phrase, I want to remind everyone, be champions!

A Pleasantly Delightful Weekend

This past weekend was a breath of fresh air despite not feeling the greatest because of a lame cold. I went home for the weekend for Easter and the first thing I did upon arrival was chill with my dad and watch some weird programming on the television. I didn't realize until recently how strange the History Channel is. I have seen the memes making fun of the History Channel guy linking everything to aliens, but that's only part of the story. My dad and I stumbled across a show about the anti-Christ and how the type of development we are experiencing in the world is all part of the anti-Christ's master plan. What kind of crack are these guys smoking? You know these people are full of shit when they link information technology (IT) to the anti-Christ because everyone knows that's skynet. The anti-Christ believers need to get their heads out of their asses and realize that technology could potentially be a threat to mankind, but not because of the anti-Christ, because technology could become self-aware. Haven't these morons seen The Terminator? We had enough of that and switched the channel to another lackluster show that is basically a ripoff of Cesar Milan where some guy attempts to solve people's cat problems. The guy was convinced that the cat was peeing all over the house in an attempt to mark its territory. He brought a black light into the couple's bedroom and shower and revealed stains all over the bed and shower. He confirmed his belief that the cat was marking territory, but they never showed any proof that the stains revealed by the black light was cat piss...

So that was the start to the weekend, a nice paranoia spreading television program. Who would have thought that the media could control thought? Then when my mom got home we went out for dinner. I got the fish and chips because it was the last Friday of lent and I knew that I would instantly go to hell if I ate red meat. I think that's proven in a science book somewhere. The meal was delicious though and I always enjoy eating out as a vessel to fulfill the extreme enjoyment I get in people watching. There were two fat people sitting at the table opposite my parents and I. The two people looked like a mother and her son, both of which could use some time working out. They were sitting on opposite sides of the table, which is what I would have expected, but then I noticed that the little fat ass had ear buds lodged into his ears. Apparently pork chop was not interested in interacting with his mother who was also almost certainly paying for the meal that would definitely not fill his over-sized stomach. When I'm out in the world experiencing the general public I am always thankful that I was born into the family that I was. I like to remind myself of this, which is probably a big reason why I like people watching so much. Everyone should give people watching some time, I think it's one of the most entertaining things to do. You're certainly welcome to join me!

After dinner we went home and watched some baseball while conversing. I'm really happy that baseball is back. Soccer and baseball are my two favorite sports and now both are in season! Eventually my parents went to bed and I stayed up to watch Albert Pujols' first game as a member of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, talk to Chase (on AIM!), and finish More Crap My Roommate Says. So basically I talked to Chase and finished the post and didn't really watch the baseball game because I was extremely distracted by the two other things. I did finish that post and I think you should check it out! And if you already looked at it, thank you and I hope it marginally entertained you at the least.

I didn't do much during the day on Saturday. I got up later than usual because I wanted to sleep in and give myself a chance to rest and fight off the common cold that I contracted during the middle part of the week and was still forced to run an 800 (half a mile for non-track oriented people) on Wednesday when I could not breathe properly and felt like shit. And yes, I did ask to not do it, but apparently that doesn't matter. Later on in the day I got together with two friends and we got dinner at D'Angelo's. I got the steak and cheese sub because it is one of the most delicious things I have ever had. Steak and cheese is definitely one of the greatest inventions of all time. Screw sliced bread, the saying should be "(insert word here) is the best thing since the steak and cheese sub." Yes, you do need sliced bread to make a steak and cheese, but the creation of a steak and cheese sub is way greater than slicing bread, which requires a sharp object.

After dinner we went to a local bar, something I don't do much, but that's more because I don't have a group of friends at college who I'm inclined to go out with. Again, if you read my posts about the shit that my roommate talks about, I think you can see where I'm coming from. If not, then you're probably like him and I probably don't want anything to do with you. It was a good time though, we just chilled and met up with one another one of my very good friends when he got out of work. I think it's fun to do stuff like that occasionally and with the right people. I saw some people from high school that I haven't seen in a very long time, too, which was entertaining to some extent. Some of the people I honestly never thought I would see or talk to again. The end result was a good night.

I wasn't sure what to expect of Easter Sunday since that day constitutes an extended family get together. Extended family get togethers get old rather fast once you get older, but this one was not too bad. After we had lunch I basically just talked to my cousin the entire time. She's around the same age, just one year younger in school than me, so we have a lot of common things to discuss. We ended up staying at my grandma's house, where the festivities were held, for over four hours, which was very surprising to me. What's funny about family gatherings on my mom's side of the family, which was the case for this past Easter, is the topic of discussion among her family. I'm from a a moderately sized town, but it's one of those places where practically everyone knows everyone. I hate it, but that's the way it is. My mom's family is always talking about so-and-so and who they're related to, how much their house is selling for, how much personal trouble they are having, how much of an asshole they are/what a great person they are, or how they can hook someone else they know up. I'll mention that I was with one of my friends and they'll ask me if they're related to so-and-so and go up and down the family tree. I have no idea, they're just my friend!

It's just one of those places where everyone really does know everyone else in some way. I somehow managed to not meet a lot of people in my graduating class which is quite an accomplishment, but it was mainly because our paths didn't cross resulting from the small schools initiative that reduced class sizes by 0%, thanks El Gordo! I don't know why, but I find the everyone knowing or knowing of everyone else kind of annoying. I think a little bit of anonymity is a good thing, but I didn't have to worry about that because I wasn't on the football team in high school so very few people knew who I was. You know what else annoys me, people that suck at merging onto the highway. The people who slow down and/or come to a complete stop on the on ramp when no one is in the right lane. That's annoying and so is the constant fear my roommates live in for partaking in activities against the rules of the university. Apparently when I let a group member borrow a book and showed our house to juniors selecting housing for next year I should have told my roommates that people would be knocking on the door because they got really nervous because they thought it was DPS both times. I didn't realize that I can't have people come over without telling anyone but it's fine to have people come pick up in the wee hours of the morning when I'm trying to sleep or come back at 1:00 am after drinking on Thursday night and playing loud, shitty music. That's ok, but when there's going to be a knock on the door, I should probably let them know. After all, it is definitely my problem that they partake in frowned upon and punishable activities.

I should just start knocking on the door every time I'm walking in the house. I would think it's funny, and that's all I really care about. Living in this situation is only lasting a little longer and the memories will be priceless. I'm going to have fun looking back at these posts and reminisce on my time in college and all the clowns I knew. Regardless, the weekend was great and I'm looking forward to the next part of my life, life after graduation. Hopefully someone will be watching my career with great interest, and of course, I wish the same for my readers.

More Crap My Roommate Says

Here it is, the second installment of the things that come out of my roommates mouth! Another classic assortment of phrases. This list has been building up since the first post documenting his dialogue, about two months of material is in here. But you must remember, this is only a sample of what I have heard. I'm sure I've missed some gems, but this is still an entertaining collection. I really wish I had this idea way earlier. This could have been a great series, but I was too stupid to recognize the potential until about three months ago. Sometimes hearing this shit is funny, but sometimes it's the most annoying stuff in the world. I actually have very few conversations with two out of the three other guys I live with because I don't think anyone can have a normal conversation with the two of them. All they ever talk about is sex, drugs, and alcohol, which is technically a drug, so they really only talk about two things, two things I'm not very interested in discussing, at least with them. Their conversations lack any substance whatsoever, but it could just be that I'm strange.

When I come to think about it, there are actually a lot of days when I don't have much interaction with any of the people I live with. I'll have very brief conversations, but that's about it. I don't have the same connection with them as I do with many of my other friends. As I believe I mentioned at some point, all the people I enjoyed hanging out with at school, for the most part, graduated. But that's not the point of this post, the focus is the habits of my roommates. The roommate I'm deriving all these quotes from, code name Bozo, is the classic player. He likes to drink and have sex. I think there is more emphasis on the sex part, but drinking often goes along with that for so many different reasons. My other roommate, who I briefly referenced in the first installment, Things My Roommates Say, is kind of like his partner. He was that guy freshman year who wanted to try everything. This led him down an interesting path and he is now like Bozo, but with a very different personality. Basically the two of them want to have lots of sex. On Thursdays they often go to a local bar that is filled with people who go to the same school as us. The goal: interact with drunk girls and hope to score.

My other roommate I shared a room with sophomore and junior year, but now we each have singles. Actually, all four of us have singles now that one of our roommates moved out after the fall semester. He's the only one I ever have interesting conversations with. However, I don't really do anything with any of the people I live with. I think it sucks because I used to have fun sophomore year when I was living with people who had similar interests as me. We went to Monster Jam that year! The three of them always do thing together. Only my actual former roommate, the legend (inside joke alert), ever invites me along. Most of the time I decline because I'm not interested. They're always ordering out for food, which I sometimes take part in, but often they're picking up (if you don't know what I mean, then don't worry about it), or going out to get drunk and find girls to have sex with.

But without further rambling on about the people I live with, here are some of the things I've heard Bozo say over roughly the past two months:

Dude, I just found out I have two midterms tomorrow.

Wizzy boy, I love you so much. You're so good.

Buddy, you are getting played right now. I'm laying the pipe on your girlfriend right now.

We're thinking about hitting up Match.com to find some sluts.

I just wanna bring mad bitches back. That's my goal.

My career is gonna be f**kin' bitches. For the first couple of years. I'm gonna be the kid hittin' on all my coworkers.

Dude, I'm not gonna f**k bitches at my parents' house.

I would sleep 'til about two. Smoke some pot. Then go party. That's a stupid f**kin' question. I wouldn't work. I wouldn't do anything that constitutes a salary.

Dude, he's like f**kin' possessed. Look at him.

I wish there was a way to know if you're gonna get drug tested.

How the f**k am I supposed to trust you when you f**ked me when you had a boyfriend.

That girl who likes Anthony is sooo hot. (he will never get this)



When you see my f**kin' tan tomorrow, you are gonna be so jealous.

I've never been this addicted to being tan.

I'm gonna go another two hours tomorrow, just bronze. It's not as gay as going to a tanning booth.

She left a huge wet spot on my bed. It looked like a cum spot the size of a Frisbee.

I'm going to get a DUI. I'm gonna start a DUI fund.

I saw Alex today, walking into the gym with his f**kin' suit on. I saw his face and was just pissed off.

What he did is he's just the biggest vagina in the world. He just brings everyone down.

Take you and your mangina and get the f**k out of my townhouse.

Every girl we meet, we f**k, then we never talk to them again. We make it mad awkward. We burn bridges. We just f**k girls.

I think I'm gonna ask Heavy if he's gay. I would still chill with him if he was gay.

Do you think that was her first time getting it from the back? I don't think so.

She said she would try everything once.

Those kids are so excited to throw down.

Have you ever been in a situation where you're f**kin' a girl and you're just like, this is so gross.

I'm gonna text her "do you have any hot friends who wanna smoke?"

Would you have to go to California to bang girls like that?

Cops should treat criminals with more respect. Without them they would have no job.

Imagine if I had three grand, we could get three escorts in here.

If you get a girl with hot friends, you know, c'mon.

You shoulda had Juliet come up so we could have piped her.

She's either a lesbian or she loves black dick.

You wanna set the standard with your dick, no substitutes.

I've put my finger in a few girls' butts. It's like a Chinese finger trap. I would never think about putting my dick in there.

You got kicked out for punchin' a kid in the face? That's stupid.

It's ridiculous how many connects I have. One goes out, I have three others.

I'm thinkin' about just smokin' him in the face.

More bullshit, I should have expected that

So basically I have absolutely nothing in common with my roommates. I would not be the least bit surprised if I don't stay in touch with these guys at all once we graduate, even though I've lived with them for three of the past four years, and one of them for all four years. Hearing this stuff is funny, but only to an extent because I hear this everyday. I really think that Bozo and his protege are the people that all parents want their daughters staying away from. But I can't put all the blame on my roommates. Maybe they are the people that go out looking for drunk girls to have sex with, but the girls might be doing the same thing. So they deserve each other.

I also find Bozo's affection for the cat, Wiz, highly entertaining. I think he treats that cat with more respect than some of the girls he's been with. He just wants to get it in with them, but he tells Wiz what a good boy he is and how he loves him. He refers to the cat as his son. But when it comes to girls, other people, there's only one thing he wants. After he gets it, there's a good chance he'll never speak to them again. Certainly is an interesting life style, but I bet there are a lot of people in the world like him.

There's only a little more than a month left of school, but I'm sure that is plenty of time to compile more outrageous dialogue. You can count on me to continue listening, as if I had a choice, unless my ears begin internally bleeding from all this crap.

A Journey of Close Calls

As I near the end of my track career, at least competing for school, I have realized that I have an insanely outrageous knack for almost achieving. Take the last few competitions I attended this indoor season as a perfect example of what I am referring to. Two of our last three meets were championship meets, we had our conference meet in Maryland and then two weekends later the collegiate New England Championship meet at the wonderful indoor track facility that belongs to Boston University.  At our conference meet the top eight times from the hurdle preliminaries qualify for the final on the second day of competition. I made the finals last year, as a junior, and finished 6th overall. This year I ran faster and came in 9th, the first person not to make the final. Not only was I the cutoff line, but the person who qualified 8th ran .01 seconds faster than me... I also came in second in my preliminary heat, so it wasn't like I sucked ass or anything. Only a really tall black man that ended up finishing third beat me in the preliminary heat.

So that was heartbreaking to some extent, but I wasn't angry when I realized what happened because for me, it was a good race. I was more or less just unlucky. Two weekends later I was very happy to have qualified for the semifinals for the first time at the New England Indoor Championships. The top sixteen from the preliminary make it to the semis. I qualified in the 12th spot, so I knew that I had some work to do, but hey, I made it! I was all geared up for the race on Saturday, hoping that  I could pull off something great and qualify for the final. BU has nine lanes on the infield, which is where the hurdles and dash are contested. So they let nine people run in the finals of the hurdles and dash, which is nice, but the person that comes in 9th is the only one not to score any points, sad face. Anyway, I was ready to go, the adrenaline was flowing and I was feeling that nervousness that I really enjoy, the anticipation for a race! There's nothing like it! I got out of the blocks very well, for me at least, and reactions take over from there.

We were told that the top four from each heat plus the next fastest time would advance to the final. I was in the second heat, knowing that I couldn't come in anything less than 5th in my heat or else I would not make the final. The race went by in an instant, like it always does. 60 meters doesn't last a long time. After crossing the finish line I thought I ran a decent race, I just felt like I floated over the third hurdle which bit my asshole a little.

BU's great indoor track!

I stood on the infield, looking up at the big board, awaiting the results. The results flashed onto the screen, and I saw it. I came in 6th. I did it again, top nine make finals, I came in tenth, like an average employee, because bosses qualify for the finals. Again, I couldn't be too disappointed because I ran only .03 off my best time, but come on, again! I should be used to this now, though, this started way back in high school when I first began running track. By the end of freshman year in high school I was posting the best times on the team in the hurdles. However, I missed the finals at the indoor district meet by .03 seconds, and the next year at the same meet, I was bumped big time in the final, which really messed me up. I didn't run outdoor track until sophomore year because I played baseball my freshman year. Actually, that brings up another memory, I was hit in the face with a baseball bat during tryouts! I'll have to document that tale in another post.

Top 4 make the final

My first year of outdoor track was more of the same. At our league meet I came in second in the 110 meter high hurdles and the 300 meter intermediate hurdles to the same guy. I was almost a double winner at leagues, but not quite. It was still a very pleasant surprise though! Speaking of hurdling, the reason I started to hurdle is kind of interesting. At some point during middle school I realized that I could jump over the furniture in my house rather easily. Also, I distinctly remember one day jumping on top of my friend's stone wall back in eighth grade, to which his mom told me "the track team will be looking for you." That's interesting to think about in hindsight, I guess she was right. Anyway, I decided to run track freshman year and my dad, based on my furniture jumping delight, told me I should try doing the hurdles. I never thought that would be a decision that would impact my life for the next eight years.

My career of almosts continued for the rest of the outdoor season when I came in second at the state qualifier meet in the 110 meter hurdles, qualifying me for the all-state competition where I would place 10th, two spots out of making the finals as a sophomore. I wasn't really expecting to even place that high, so that was a pleasant surprise as well. Come junior year, I had much higher expectations given these very good previous experiences. Junior year was rife with almosts. I remember indoor districts very distinctly. I was in first place after the preliminary and semi-finals for the hurdles. I ended up coming in second in the final which I found very disappointing. Very soon after that I posted my best time ever to qualify for all-states for the first time in indoor track. At the all-state meet I wrote another chapter in my growing list of almosts. I was again the first person to miss the final coming in ninth place when top nine make the finals, this time by 0.02 seconds. I ran a 7.925 and the guy who qualified in front of me clocked in at 7.923. Not to mention that I slightly stumbled out of the blocks. I remember the sense of panic after that rough start. You can have a look at the race yourself in the video below!


I capped off the junior year campaign outdoors placing second at districts and leagues in the 110 meter high hurdles. I lost at leagues by .01 seconds in what was a fantastic race, my favorite one for a while until the many better races I had my senior year, which was absolutely as much fun as anything could possibly be. At the same league meet my coach did not enter me in the 300 meter intermediate hurdles. I was extremely pissed when I found this out. The person who won that event at leagues I had beat earlier in the season at a regular season meet. I still do not understand that decision to this day. But that doesn't take anything away from how great the high hurdle race was. Over the season I had developed a very friendly rivalry with the guy who ended up winning that thrilling race. I would have loved to take that victory over him and I ALMOST did. See the trend here. So junior year marked a year that I would finish second to the same guy in the 110 hurdles at leagues, districts, and state qualifiers. I did think it was quite satisfying that two of the best hurdlers in the area came from our league and that I was a part of it.

That same year I ran a very mediocre race at all-states and missed the final by .06 seconds. I remember seeing that and thinking to myself that I should have definitely made it. I felt like I always choked at the all-state meets since my first experience competing at those meets sophomore year. The failure to qualify for the final at all-states marked the end of track for junior year by the very slightest of margins. My senior year doesn't really fit into this post at all, and I am very happy about that! Senior year of track, as I mentioned before, was soooo much fun. I'll have to document that legendary year (to me) in another post because I think it deserves it. However, I did still have some almosts, but not to the same extent as the ones I have been mentioning.

Fast forward to college track. At the beginning of this post I mentioned the close encounters I had at our conference championship and the New England meet. At outdoor conferences the year before, junior year I fell in the 110 hurdles, which I came out of unscathed. Actually, I wouldn't really say that I fell. Unfortunately I was starting to get sick right before we left for the meet. I did not sleep very well the nights leading up to the meet. Saturday morning, the first day of conferences, I remember not feeling quite right physically. I didn't feel quite as strong. I actually got a decently good start in the high hurdles, but I couldn't get over and back down to the ground the way I usually do. That caught up to me very fast and I clipped one of the first few hurdles and it threw me off a bit. I kept on running and clipped another hurdle just as badly. My opponents had made up the ground from my good start and had already passed me at this point, and by the time I got to the next hurdle I knew I was either wrecking myself on it or going under. I chose the latter and slid onto my back underneath the hurdle. I sacrificed the race for my personal safety. After seeing the results, I could have made it to the finals comfortably if I had put together a typical race for me at that time.

I wanted to prevent this from happening

I ran the 400 meter intermediate hurdles later that day. I still didn't feel great, but I was feeling better as the day went on. I ended up running my best time in the event ever and missing the final by 0.61 seconds. The guy who claimed the last spot into the final was in my heat, too. So I was close again, but the funny thing is that I got demolished in my heat. I only beat one guy, while four others finished in front of me. Those four guys all ended up in the final. I was very happy with the time I ran, though. The 400 hurdles have always given me trouble since freshman year of college when I first started running them. Actually, I've always felt like a disappointment in the intermediate hurdles. My coaches always think that I should be nasty at them and then it doesn't happen. I remember in high school my coach thought I could be the state champion in the 300 meter hurdles, we still ran the 300 hurdles when I was in high school. I never ran the 300 hurdles at any major competitions, leagues was the biggest meet I ever competed in them at. However, I blame the MIAA (the Massachusetts Interscholastic Athletic Association, I think) for this because they don't let people compete in more than one individual running event at the larger meets. This meant that I always had to choose which hurdle event I wanted to run. I always chose the high hurdles because for some reason I really enjoy that race. So I never really had a chance to run the intermediate hurdles at a very big meet in high school, and I'm going to stick to blaming the MIAA for that.

In college I got the same thing. I remember freshman year when I told my coach I was a hurdler, he thought I meant exclusively an intermediate hurdler. I always get that because of my height, four feet and eleven inches. Not really though, I'm five feet nine and some odd inches tall, which is rather short for a high hurdler, so I don't blame them. However, I still haven't really panned out as an intermediate hurdler and the race continues to frustrate me to no end. Thus the only close call I've had in the intermediate hurdles was at conferences junior year when I missed the final by 0.61 seconds. Otherwise I've always been shit on in that event. I'll end this discussion about my close encounters with almost achieving cool things with a race from this past indoor season of my senior year. My opponent and I posted the same time on the big board. I was second though, so he must have beaten me by thousandths of a second! He was the state champion in the 110 hurdles our junior year of high school, so I'll take it!

He'll see the big board!

Understand where I'm coming from here, I really enjoy track. Track has been a big part of my life for past eight years and I'm so glad that I got involved in the sport. I've met so many great people through track and I have had an absolutely wonderful time competing and embarking on the never ending quest to beat my best times. I just happened to noticed my knack for almost achieving a bunch of accolades. Trust me, it's all in good taste, thank you track for the memories.